(2/5/06) ghost ants; david bowie and the black man

(Entered in paper journal at 10:05 AM at Starbucks on 57th Street and 7th Avenue in Manhattan.)

Dream 1

I was somewhere like a national park visitor center or some camp center in the woods. I sat with my back against a tree. My legs were bare and bent up against my chest. Some ants, not many, but rather large, maybe two inches long, and colored like a bruising sweetgum leaf in late November, pink and purple, crawled near me and then up onto my legs.

The ants were going through a mating process. I had to gather them up while they were doing this. But I was too fascinated watching them to do anything. But now as they finished they dissolved, or rather deflated like dry husks and then fizzed away. I knew I had missed my chance to take their magic.

There were other ants, and these now crawled up on me. I thought, I have the chance to take the magic again. But I didn't want to touch the ants because I thought they were diseased. Also, these ants were clear, like soba noodles (?). I thought they were like ghosts of the ants that had already mated. These ants would walk up on my knees and "vomit" a thick, yellow glop out of their foreheads. Then they and the glop would fizz and spike violently.

Two "researchers" saw what was going on. They and I took samples of the fizz (this, by the way, was impossible -- the ants vanished in the fizz; the fizz didn't exist afterwards) in to a little, shed-like laboratory. I stood at a weird angle relative to the "researchers," like I was up in a corner of the room, looking down at them.

The researchers stood over a white, square, plastic tub of water. They figured either that the ants fizzed because of a disease or that they fizzed into a disease. If either of these hypotheses turned out positive, I was probably going to die from the disease.

The researchers dropped the fizz into the water. This may have been done by "pinching" water out of something like a plastic thermos-lid-like cup and then sprinkling the "pinched" water into the tub. The fizz created a violent fizzing on a small area in the center of the surface of the water. This really didn't mean anything, one way or the other -- yet.

I couldn't stay in the room any longer. I figured I was just going to die. I went out to find more ants. I wanted to prove they didn't have a disease.

Dream 2

I saw a video of David Bowie and a black man singing at a concert. the black man was large and had his head resting joyfully on David Bowie's left shoulder.

I now saw a newspaper photo of David Bowie being kissed and held by the black man. The black man didn't really want people to know about his relationship with David Bowie, but he also liked him, and they were "awesome" in concert.

Now David Bowie and the black man were singing a catchy song I didn't really like. The stage had a crystal-blue background against which everything looked really nice.

Now a bunch of famous people, mostly black, came out on stage. Some people came out on a long, low, chrome motorcycle. The chorus of the catchy song was repeated over and over. Now I saw it all as if from a far back, way up seat.

(5/11/08) poisoned shores; lost in a house; she knew she was dying

(Entered in paper journal at 8:36 AM at Flying Saucer cafe in Brooklyn.)

Dream #1

I was floating on a river or a large body of water around a sharp bank of land. Another person, possibly a woman, floated around with me. There might have been some danger in the water, possibly of it rising too high and drowning us.

We were trying to get onto the shore, but it was like the shore was so sharply-walled that we couldn't find a good hold to grab onto, even though the land was only a couple feet above our heads. At other times we could actually grab onto land. But then it would crumble away in our hands, like it was just clods of shit or garbage. It also seemed like there were, in places, dense strands of vegetation that was poisonous to the touch, so that we couldn't reach out for those spots, even if they looked easy enough to grab onto.

We floated around a corner and into an area that somehow seemed closed in, like the body of water was narrower and covered by trees. I may finally have lifted myself onto shore. There was vegetation all around me. I was pretty sure it was all poisonous. I hoped I would be able to find a clear path up the slope and through the poisonous vegetation.

Dream #2

I walked through a house that had a lot of rooms. The rooms were all in a line. They were all long and wide, with ceilings maybe twelve feet tall. There was light from outside coming in through the windows of some rooms, while other rooms seemed to be underground or windowless. All the rooms were richly decorated.

I came to an ending room, which was like a dining room. There might have been pine trees outside the windows, and possibly fragments of pine branches in vases or other kinds of crystal vessels on the dining table. I might have been able to go farther by turning to my left. But I decided to turn around, as if heading back to the entrance to this place, so that I could make an appointment somewhere else.

I walked back through the rooms, which all seemed to be underground. They had lower ceilings and, instead of being full of beautiful, elegant furniture, were cluttered with rather ordinary items. I walked past a television and either knocked something -- maybe a pad of white paper -- down off the television or somehow caused a cat (?) to knock the thing off the television. I got afraid for some reason and very carefully put the paper back onto the television top.

I walked into a lightless stairwell, up into a small room. The room probably had windows, but it now seemed to be nighttime outside, so that no light came in through the windows, anyway. The only light in the room came from the room down the stairwell from me.

I suddenly realized I was lost. I thought I should turn back and try to retrace my steps. I figured that somewhere I had made a wrong turn or a wrong choice of which room to enter. But then I realized that since I had turned around in the dining room, every room I'd walked through had been different from every room that had gotten me to the dining room! I knew that if I turned around again, I'd probably just end up walking through a whole other set of different rooms.

I was scared. I knew I was lost in the house, and that the house was enormous. I had a feeling I'd never get out of the house. I also felt like I would now be walking though a lot of dark rooms that might get very dangerous.

Dream #3

I was in a gigantic, futuristic structure. It was like a series of columns or posts all contained in a mechanical enclosure.

Somebody was attacking people. I watched, from a lower level, a woman get hit in the head with some kind of projectile.

I was up on another level with an oldish, fattish woman. The woman got knocked off the level and fell to a level about thirty feet below.

The woman lifted up her head and cried, "My brain pan's been smashed!" She turned onto her right side and looked up toward me. She suddenly knew she was going to die. For one second she looked panicked at whatever feeling she had in her head. The she fell over onto her back, dead.