(9/25/04) fear and indignation

(Dream only entered in daytime paper journal. No time/place info given.)

Dream 1

I was in a kitchen with my brother. It was in "my aunt's house." My aunt had let my mom and "us kids" live with her. My brother was in the kitchen, cooking something in a big pot. The kitchen was a dim blue-grey. It was narrow, clean, but cluttered somehow. Out in the living room the light was brighter, although it wasn't gentle. It was beige, soft, but severe somehow. This place was either the upper floor of a two-unit "apartment" or else the house was strangely built so that the living part of the house was one story over a lower story, which was a garage.

Right behind the pot of oatmeal-like food my brother stirred (or possibly even reached into) was a small tape recorder that played The Clash, some nonexistent (in waking life) song that had a slightly unfamiliar, close to familiar, name. My brother pulled black iron rods out of either the pot of oatmeal-like food or out of a dish rack next to the stove.

My aunt came in and demanded to know why we were cooking in her kitchen and using her pots. My brother said, "Well, you told us we could live here." My aunt stormed into the living room. We, feeling accosted, walked in there, too.

I personally was surprised. My aunt had been so nice to my mom. But she was being really angry and mean with us kids. She may have yelled at us. But I really only remember the sudden transfer of angry, angry emotions and my own sudden feeling of fear and indignation. I didn't deserve to be treated this way.

I walked out of the house (?) and was now on some large, sloped lot of land, tan soil with small, green shrubs dotting the landscape. I was looking for my mother, to tell her what my aunt was saying to us. My mom and sister had gone somewhere.

I think I saw a store in the distance, but I don't know where. It might have been a dark, pine green color, short and squat, with hefty, fake wood siding and a flattish, slightly sloped roof. I felt like I was in a city and in the middle of the desert.