Sunday, March 12, 2017

(2/21/05) thank goodness that's no longer me

(Entered in paper journal at 6:15 PM at home in Harlem.)

Dream 1

I brought roses to a woman in a nice, old car that was parked in a driveway surrounded by lush-leafed bushes. The roses were, however, like I had pulled some kind of thin, woody-stemmed shrub out of the ground. The leafs were yellowing in some spots. The leafs were shaped like:


I don't think I ever saw any actual rose flowers.

I would open the door to the car, the passenger side, and put the "roses" somewhere. The lady, fine, elegant, like the second wife in the movie Seabiscuit, would say something seductively innocuous, and I would stretch across the front seat, which had no steering wheel or dashboard, like a backseat, and, almost in a crawling position, kiss the lady.

I think I was a tall, strong, beautiful man, though not rich. The lady had a rich husband. I didn't want to be with the woman, but I felt compelled, almost hypnotized, by the woman's will.

The scene repeated itself with sligh variations, mainly that I took more notice of the things around me. It repeated itself again -- but this time I felt separated "from myself," and when it came time for the kiss I even thought something like, Thank goodness that's no longer me.

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