(10/15/04) i'm not really your mother

(Dream only entered in daytime paper journals. No time/place info given.)

Dream 1

I was going to a movie with my friend ML. We apparently hadn't decided on a movie yet. The movie theater box office was like a patio covered with saffron, vermilion, and golden sheets and standing thinly at the top of a pinkish tan desert cliff. It was a warm, lightly breezy, dry day. It seems like as well as being outside the theater was inside.

We walked up to the ticket booth. There was a list of three or four movies. I chose one, which it seems like ML wasn't too pleased to see. But he didn't say anything, so I guess we were planning to see it.

But I got a buzz on my cell phone, as if I had a buzzer when the ringer was off. I seem to have walked away, in front of a curving, grayish, wide, concrete building. There were areas for gardens in front of the building, sloping up and down in between sidewalks and concrete dividers. But there was no garden, just flat sections of deep brown, barren, somewhat overturned earth. The area was huge and I walked all around the sidewalks.

I listened to the phone message. My mom sounded very upset. She told me to call her as soon as I could because she finally had to tell me something she should have told me a long time ago. At first I was annoyed that my mom would bother me. But then I figured that she sounded worried.

I called her up. Crying, she told me, "I'm not really your mother. I never wanted to tell you. You were adopted. It was when you were a child. You had been taken away from your real mother."

(At this point I saw a baby in a dark room, very starkly lit in grey, dim daylight from almost nowhere, like this was a dungeon, and with two redneck-looking men somewhere off in the background. The baby seemed to be being dipped into a clay pot like the Egyptian glyph.)

"Something terrible had been done to you. Two men hurt you. They XXXXX. And your mom allowed this to happen. She stood to the side and watched it. But she wasn't to blame. and the men meant no harm. They were just two gay men."

At this point I tried to get information from my mom as to where my biological mom was. I also tried to get information about what had been done to me. But everything my mom said suddenly became jangled and misshapen.