(10/30/07) kidney-shaped table; thursday party; disgruntled clown

(Entered in paper journal at 5:30 AM on Q-train from Brooklyn to Manhattan.)

Dream #1

It was a grey-blue day. I walked along a city street, like out on a waterfront, or, rather, beside a wide street under an overpass, with a group of friends, one of whom was AT, one of the Directors of my department. AT spoke on a cell phone with one of my co-workers, either about his having advertised that he was quitting his job or else about his having advertised unseemly views about the company.

We walked up a staircase to our right and into a brick row-house. AT was concluding her call as she walked into the house. The house had an empty feel to it. It was dim. I sat at a dining table that backed (on my left) against a weirdly shaped wall of oddly set doorways. There were probably blankets all over the floors. The table itself may have had a weird, kidney-like shape.

AT was down the hallway (behind me). A few people filtered into the room. Among them was my co-worker DE, with whom AT had been on the phone.

DE was mad at me. He had been blamed for AT's anger, claiming that I'd told AT that he had been advertising something against the company. I tried to remember what I had said. It had been on the walk outside. I thought it had been harmless. But now I realized it wasn't. I still tried to convince myself I had said something harmless.

Dream #2

I got done at some social event like a cocktail party for a friend. The whole thing seemed to have been held on a stage, the surface of which looked like a model's runway. I stepped down from it, into an area (like an orchestra pit?) full of technical equipment like hospital equipment or sound equipment. The whole room now seemed like a somewhat large sound-stage.

I stood in front of my old boss and mentor EB and his wife GB. EB and GB sat on tall swivel chairs, like for a breakfast bar. Both EB and BG looked really healthy and happy. They asked me if I was coming to their party on Thursday. I hesitated. I saw, though, that GB had picked up on and disapproved of my hesitation. So I caught myself and said, "Ah... Thursday? Yeah, that sounds good."

Dream #3

I walked, possibly with a group of friends/co-workers, on a desert road on the outskirts of the suburbs. It was a warm, gold and blue day. I had reached some point along the walk and realized it was a long way to walk to my destination and that I might not get there on time.

I was now in a car with a group of friends/co-workers. We drove to a restaurant. We finished eating and headed back outside. As we left the restaurant the interior appeared grey, crowded, and steamy. Even the windows seemed clouded up with steam.

Outside, the area was like a filling station. Everybody else had gone back to the car. I told them I would walk. I probably wasn't in a hurry "now that we had made our meeting."

I walked up a street, 39th Street, which might have been the street from which it was a long distance to the meeting. The intersection I turned right on had a very deserty feel. But now I walked down a street which, on my side, the right side, anyway, was just a long, long suburban street.

I walked past a two-story house of maroon-painted brick with a row of tan-painted brick separating the two floors. As I gazed at the building, a man's shout startled me. I saw, up in the distance, a man walking my way. I tried not to act upset or startled.

I now walked in the shade of a row of very short houses. The man approached me. He looked clownish -- fattish, dumpy, with long tufts of bushy hair on either side of his head. He wore baggy, roundish, hobo-style clothes, a bowler hat, and possibly a beer-drinking hat. There were some bright colors on him somewhere.

The man was going on and on, as if he were ranting at someone on a cell phone. He said, "I told them, Hey! You aren't gonna fire me. You aren't gonna do that to me!"

We crossed paths. But then the man turned and followed me from a distance, continuing to act like he was speaking on a cell phone but now also implicating me in his conversation.

(11/1/07) losing job; seduced in panties; cloud race and lesbian wedding; split aztec circle

(Entered in paper journal at 5:22 AM on Q-train from Brooklyn to Manhattan.)

Dream #1

I got into an elevator with some of my co-workers. We went down. As we did, one of us (my boss BS?) commented on how six or seven analyst groups in my department had been fired. BS said that might be all the cuts, as far as analysts' whole teams went, but that some workers on the lower levels (strangely named levels, such as CDSs, CSDs, or CSAs?) were probably going to lose their jobs. I worried that I would lose my job. This was even more upsetting to me because I had taken so long just to get to the low level I was at.

All the time in the elevator my eyes kept shutting and my mind kept blanking out. I had to keep re-focusing myself to force my eyes open and keep my mind alert. I missed a lot of the exact details that BS was giving, though I strained to hear them.

We got out of the elevator. On the floor, we passed AT, one of the Directors of my department. I feared that I had once said something unbecoming around her.

Dream #2

I was in a house that was also a lingerie store. I wore a bra and panties, probably with realistic flower patterns. A pretty, blonde girl with short hair was attending to me.

I got an erection, which went upward, not outward, and then pushed the underwear out near the panty-waist. I walked away, into a bedroom, which had display racks of lingerie on the wall. I didn't want the girl who'd been attending me to see my erection and feel violated by how aroused I was around her.

But the girl walked into the room. The tip of my penis stuck out over the waistband of the panties. I told the woman, "Oh, don't look at me yet. I have to calm down."

The woman said, "No, no. Let me see you."

By now my penis was huge and stood a lot out of the underwear. The girl trembled and sighed. She was trying to hide her excitement. She pressed against my penis and stomach and sat me down on the bed. She said, "Here, Let me take care of this." She knelt down and put her face close to my penis.

Dream #3

I watched as two men raced in a weird environment. It was like all around them was deep blue sky. There were puffy, white tufts of clouds dotting the lower part of this sky-land. Over the clouds were occasional bright, white squares. The two men raced by hopping along from square to square.

One of the men was like me, except maybe stronger, more mature. The other was black, wearing only white shorts or underwear. At one point I may have become the man who was like me.

The black man said something (we conversed as we raced). The man's voice had an electronic sound and clattered over itself, as if it were sent through a sound system on short echo. But something about this also slowed his voice down, not to sound deeper, but just to slow the delineation of the words.

I told the man, "I forgot that when you appear by XXXXX" (something like "dimensional holograph") "your speech is delayed. But you run faster."

The man bolted ahead of me, leaping from square to square. I managed to get ahead by jumping on special "booster" squares which rocketed me along. I jumped up onto a high platform. I hit a column-like, greyish "booster." The man was still keeping pace. The floor of this platform was like purplish tile. The floating squares we jumped on were clear. Each time I would jump on one I would shout, "Diamond Square!"

Things faded away. I sat at my desk at work. A guy standing to my right said, "Yeah, she doesn't believe in work efficiency at all. She thinks being asked to be efficient is a violation against her. And if she sees anybody being efficient she'll try to get them in trouble for violating her. That's why she plays those internet games all the time. And she tries to get others to do it, too." (I felt like the "internet game" was a computer distortion of the cloud/diamond square race game I had just experienced.)

A smallish, Hispanic woman now came up to us. The male co-worker stopped talking, as if he were afraid this woman would report what we'd said to the slacker woman, or as if this woman herself was the slacker woman.

Now a lot of women had come into the area. There were a few really cute, short girls, Asian and Hispanic. I couldn't quite see or keep focus on the girls. I knew some of the women were defiantly lesbian, and that they tried to force or convince all the other women also to be defiantly lesbian.

Now the crowd cleared so I could see one of the really cute girls (her friends had moved away). All the girls were aww-ing, as if to say, "Isn't this so cute?"

A medium-sized, medium-build, blonde, Hispanic woman held the cute girl's hand. She asked the cute girl to marry her. The cute girl accepted. This, in effect, meant they were now married. The cute girl was extremely happy. She hugged the Hispanic girl tightly.

Dream #4

An iron (?) relief in a circle, like an Aztec astrological circle. A woman said something about which I had ambiguous feelings. The circle now split. The right half was still the Aztec figure. The left half was now bright blue, sparkling water, almost like a video-intensified image of water. I didn't know whether this was good or bad.