(3/23/09) friends among zombies; basement of the lazy

(Entered in paper journal at 7:50 AM at home.)

Dream #1

I was at a checkout stand in a large supermarket. The store was dark, with just a couple of bands of fluorescent ceiling lights turned on. Outside it was pitch black. Some other people, maybe black people, stood by the checkout stands, as if we were all waiting to pay for our items. But there were no workers.

I looked at a tabloid rack to my left. The papers all spoke about something having happened to the President. There was no specific idea of people who may have been involved in any of the related events.  But there was an implication that, because of these events, a war would be started. It seemed like all this news was of a trivial, gossipy nature, fit only for the tabloids.

I stood outside with my dad. It was still pitch black night. We stood out on a wide, concrete lot. Somewhere to my left there may have been a tall, wide, stable, stone building, like for a university. There were a few white streetlamps lighting the lot.

Something dangerous was happening. Zombies may have been attacking the area. My dad was sending me out on a small, ATV-like vehicle to retrieve something. I was afraid to go, even though I knew I had to. The zombies (?) had stopped attacking, but nobody knew where they were. I thought that, riding on such an unprotected vehicle, if I accidentally met a group of zombies, I could easily be "gotten" -- attacked by them.

I started off, possibly driving through a fog. I rode through a few places, like back roads, suburban residential neighborhoods, places that looked like secret bases (with chain link fences and barbed wire), something like university campuses, and a shopping mall's parking lot.

At some point I met up with a group of people. We were all riding in a van now. We were riding down a long, straight, slightly graded slope. We were all talking somewhat cheerfully about where we were going next. We were apparently going back to my dad. But I was worried that we really weren't headed that way. It didn't look like we were headed in the right direction at all.

Dream #2

I may have been laying with a large group of people, all of us laying close together, as if we were in a gigantic basement in a gigantic suburban house.

A woman knelt down and tapped me to get my attention. The woman looked like a gardener CA, who worked at a park at which I'd led volunteer groups through New York Cares -- she was shortish and had tan skin, blue eyes, and shortish, squarish, silver and grey hair. The woman said, "I'm not sure, with you young people, what time I should be getting you up."

I felt bad, thinking I should have been up a while ago, and that I was getting lazy.

(12/29/09) halted flight; wetting my diaper a lot

(Entered in paper journal at 6:30 AM on B-train into work from Brooklyn.)

Dream #1

I was walking down a suburban sidewalk to the right of which ran a busy road. There were a good amount of people on the sidewalk. It was late afternoon, and the sky was a dim, pale pink and blue. I had to get somewhere, possibly to see President Obama, and I was thinking of walking, as the place was nearby. I turned left and walked down a much quieter road.

I wondered if I shouldn't just XXXXX (can't remember) after all, to get there much quicker. Walking wouldn't be difficult. But it was getting dark fast, and I didn't want to be out walking through these empty suburban streets in the dark.

I suddenly either realized that I could fly or I started flying. I lifted up into the air. The sky was changing to a pale, dim, silver-blue color. I floated up before trees with canopies that were low and thick and colored pale yellow-orange and tan, possibly with the fringes of the leafs being darker orange and red. I lifted up over the trees and started moving forward. I thought, For sure I can get to the event on time now.

But I suddenly lost control of my flight. I bounded backwards in the air, like I was being pulled upward and backward by a flexible arm or a bungee cord. I tried to control myself and move forward. I would succeed, only to bound upward and backward again.

The landscape below me changed. It looked like a suburban neighborhood which had been fashioned into a putt-putt golf course. I thought to myself, I'll never get anywhere if I just keep bouncing around like this. With real determination I told myself to move forward, and quickly. Suddenly the restraint broke.

I heard a man's voice, maybe the voice of my old friend R, from behind me and to my right, say, "Fine, then, if you want to be such a baby about it."

I was moving forward, but slowly descending back to the "street," which simply looked like an indoor putt-putt golf course. I sat on a ledge near a window, trying on something like sports shoes or ice skates while R sat to my right.

R had said something that really upset me. I walked away from him and headed up something like a zigzag wheelchair ramp of grey-painted concrete, through a little stage-like area, and up a fire-escape-like stairwell. I went up a few floors.

This building was an amusement center. I hoped I could get onto a floor that R wouldn't visit, so he would leave me alone. I got up to a somewhat empty looking, large room with concrete floors, cinder block walls, and coldish, incandescent lighting.

My girlfriend H was here. I thought we two could hang out. But I looked to my right, through a doorway to another room that seemed like a balcony over a high school or college gym. I saw R there, walking behind a moderate crowd of people. I didn't want R to see me and H together. I thought he would try to break us apart.

(At this point I got off the train to go to work. I resumed my paper journal entry at 8:05 PM, back on the B-train, heading back to Brooklyn after work.)

Dream #2

I was in "my bed" at "my house." I lay on my back with my knees up, looking down at myself while I wet my diaper. Suddenly I realized I was wetting too much, and that my diaper was starting to overflow. I stood up, still wetting and wetting.

I ran through the hallway, my diaper leaking all over the place. I got to the bathroom. I was still wetting and wetting. I stood either on the bathroom floor or in the bathtub. I tried to take off my diaper. The urine was like a huge puddle, and fountains of urine poured down all around my legs.