(Entered in paper journal at 8:19 PM at home in Brooklyn.)
Dream 1
I was in "my cousin AH's bedroom" with my mom. My mom may have been speaking bad about AH. The room was dark, with just a dim light coming from the front of AH's CD player.
I was curious about a couple of AH's CDs, one of which may have been by the Beatles. I filed through the CDs -- somehow it was like I was thumbing through discs that were behind glass on a mini-jukebox.
AH came in at some point. My mom had disappeared. AH sat on her bed. She wasn't quite AH. Her head, especially her eyes, seemed fake.
I apologized about going through AH's things. AH said it was okay, if I was willing to "do something" (i.e. do something sexual) for her. I sat on AH's lap. She wore soft, yellow shorts. She was tall, well-built, and blonde.
AH pulled me toward her and kissed me. But her mouth was smoky with cigarettes. I saw a cigarette in AH's left hand -- little red fringes in the dim, silver-blue light.
I got off AH. She tried to kiss me again. I pushed her back. She fell back onto the bed. I told her I couldn't be with her if she smoked -- I'm sort of allergic to cigarette smoke.
AH tried to blow off my concern like it wasn't a big deal. I felt anxiety. AH might take offense and punish me for having thumbed through her CDs now that I wouldn't get romantic with her.
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