(1/19/06) rescuing my mom; laundering my panties in public

(Entered in paper journal at Starbucks on 43rd Street and 3rd Avenue. No time info given.)

Dream 1

I was in a house which may have started out as a large building like a party area or an auditorium. I think there were a fair amount of people there at first. But at some point something bad happened.

The auditorium became more like a house and then more like a huge, exaggerated version of the house my family lived in when I was in my late junior high and early high school years. The lights were all out, and something bad was in the house. The rooms were like mazes.

I felt mom's presence somewhere, "seeing" her trapped by a stage. I ran either to help her or to escape the house. I f I ran to escape, I stopped at getting outdoors, to the "carport." A bolt of electricity smashed something down to the ground. The clouds were thick and dark, and yet far enough away and dry enough to make the windy, rolling atmosphere feel like an enormous room or warehouse.

I told myself, It's too dangerous to go this way. My mom can't be helped.

I now felt a surge of courage or simple muscular energy. I ran back into the house to help my mom. I got to the stage of the auditorium (or perhaps I just "saw" it).

Another charge of electricity smashed the ceiling down in front of my mom. The house was dark and quiet, and I was somewhere else inside. I may still have been searching for my mom. But I was really unfocused.

The house was smashed. I was definitely trying to escape. The bad thing was somewhere, and I had no idea what it was like or what condition it was in, or how it was tracking or lying in wait for its prey. Pretty soon I got lost in thoughts about whether I was a coward.

Then I felt people coming in from the carport door. I ran into the living area, which was now much less exaggerated and which had nice, incandescent lighting. I leaped at the doorknob just as an Asian couple opened the door. They complained to me that I shouldn't be here and that they had reserved this place for themselves.

As they fumbled and slid past me, I tried to yell them out of the house. They had "broken the mood" and changed the house back to normal. Now, since my fears were gone, I had no more chance to vindicate myself and prove myself not to be a coward.

Dream 2

I was in a busy laundromat. I went to a dryer to pull out my clothes. I saw that I had a lot of panties in my laundry. I was ashamed to pull the clothes out of the dryer.

A couple of unknown "friend" guys stood by dryers near me. But I was really worried about my mom, who was only a short way behind me.

Someone, possibly even my mom, though it also feels like my friend ML, said, "If doing your laundry in public makes you so nervous, why don't you just do your laundry at home?"

I realized I had a washer and dryer at home. I thought, It's so easy. Why didn't I realize before that I had that option?