(3/9/10) boss is a glass dyer; i don't want to love a man

(Entered 3/9/10, 6:15 AM, on the B-train into work from Brooklyn.)

Dream #1

I was in an office with my old boss BS. The office was kind of spacious and it had a wide window wall, possily looking out over a city from a high floor. The office was moderately, not overly, cluttered.

BS told me he had to make some extra money to supplement his work pay now that times were tough. He handed me a stack of business cards. The cards were all about half the height of normal business cards, so that they looked more like strips than cards. Each card was a different kind of crafty or odd-jobby kind of profession. The top card, however, struck me most. It said, "GLASS DYER." I was astounded that BS knew how to dye glass!

BS was now walking out of his office. He said, "Well, anyway, it helps me make money, and it's something I like to do." I called after BS, telling him I thought it was incredible he knew how to dye glass. I wanted to know more about it. I felt like he had somehow thought I was being condescending about the whole thing, which I wasn't.

Dream #2

I lay on a stone walkway in the garden of some Mediterranean-style villa. I lay right by a gate which jutted out from the wall of the house. The gate had a grey, stone column. The column seemed to divide the area on the other side of the gate into two walkways.

I thought to myself something about how I wished I could find love. And now, at the end of the left walkway, a tallish, lean, muscular man with tanned skin and black hair came turning around a curve from the right. He wore only knee-length shorts. He was wet, as if he had been out swimming.

I thought that since I had seen the man so soon after having thought how I needed love, that the man was the one I was supposed to be with. I was upset. I thought, I'm not gay; I don't want to be with a man. Then I thought, Besides, this guy's a real jerk, too.

Now a whole group of people came walking up the right hallway. The man had crossed before me and headed into a doorway into the house, to my right. Now the other people were doing the same thing. They had all come from swimming. Apparently I was one of their group. But I hadn't gone swimming: I hadn't felt up to it.

Now, looking at all the people, I thought, Maybe I could be with one of the girls in this group. But, I (possibly) thought, I couldn't really feel attraction to any of them.