(The statement below is not a dream but was written in my dream journal as a kind of inspiration. Entered at 9:15 PM. No location info. But I'm guessing it was at home in Harlem. I'm also guessing the statement was written on May 23rd, before I slept and had my dreams, not May 24th, when my dreams would actually have been written down. But I'm really not sure.)
9:15 PM -- Although the writing of this will probably hinder me from dreaming tonight, I want to write down in the dream book that I will try next time I had a lucid dream to call out for a teacher or guide, whatever that may be.
(Entered in paper journal at 8:03 PM at home in Harlem.)
Dream 1
I got off a train or subway that led directly into a concourse in an airport. I passed an inspection gate and then realized I had left a couple important items at home. My flight left at either 4:00 or 4:11. I turned to look at the digital wall clock. It read 244 (244, I think, not 2:44!). I thought I might have time to take the subway back home and come back before my flight left.
I was on what now feels like an Amtrak train or an even bulkier, fancier train with a very dark, rich atmosphere to it. We passed along some dense obstructions to a view of a city street, not like New York City, a little more country like.
I caught a glimpse of some black man who shot a stare at me and scared me a little. So I opened my view fully at him in between the dense obstructions and rattled his mind a bit to make him look at me nervously. But when I succeeded I pulled back instantly and thought (did I think it?), No, don't make contact. You run the risk of letting bad spirits into your own body.
Now the view was black except one thin, horizontal strip about five-sixths of the way up my field of vision. A white burst of light zigzagging from right to left made the strip silvery like the crack of light between the lid and body of a copy machine.
I was still in the train, I think. It was early morning. We rode into the parking lot of a mall. My stop was somewhere around here. I thought of coming back to the mall in a few hours, as soon as it opened.
I looked up to the second floor of the mall, as if a few stores up their had their storefront window-walls and doors out on the sheer, inaccessible, white brick face instead of on an indoor balcony inside the mall. I saw a lingerie store. I wanted to go in. But I wondered, if the storefront was on the outside of the mall, how I'd get in without being seen by people I knew.
Showing posts with label parking lot. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parking lot. Show all posts
Sunday, March 5, 2017
Sunday, February 19, 2017
(2/18-19/06) i don't want to see the insanity; the police must be lying
(NOTE on dream entries -- Some dreams I entered into my paper journal were entered immediately after I woke from the dreams. Some of these dreams may have been written in a "coherent" narrative style. Others were written in an outline style. Earlier on, in 2004, I would flesh out and "analyze" these dreams in my daytime journals. I'm not really sure whether I did the same thing from the dreams I took this method with in 2006 and possibly 2005. Since this blog is dedicated to recording the dreams in my dedicated dream journals, however, I am sticking to the form of the dreams as written in the journals.)
(Entered in paper journal at 11:07 PM at home in Brooklyn -- pretty sure immediately after waking from the dream.)
Dream 1
I sat by a computer doing a project -- radio/computer news -- "fair" in Kmart parking lot -- some area blocked off (by convenience store "van") where strange kid staring.
Later on, still by screen -- kid vanished. Something wrong with place, too, Hearing news as watching live scene of highway in Seattle. Talking of kid, kid probably in Seattle.
cars buzzing along highway. News stranger -- kid maybe insane -- then kid probably stolen by father -- father probably insane -- at first highway on web page, just live photos like on Vail.com website -- now action video, direct -- a car makes a tail of exhaust -- i thought, i could be watching them.
the highway seems closer and closer, until the "camera" is right there -- i click out, think, last thing I need is to get possessed by this madman -- as i click i send a car flying up and back down in Seattle -- the highway now my own -- see, as "radio" narrates, cars driving on grass, grass fields everywhere -- crashing, laying in ruts, broken, crashed cars everywhere -- "radio" narrates this is the junkyard, people come here to wreck their cars.
so now it seems like it should feel safe. But I feel even more afraid. And I still want to change "states" on the website, but I don't want to go to any other state. I'm afraid that the insane man will drive there, too, and possess me. --
Dream 2
(Entered in paper journal at 8:43 AM at Starbucks on 1st Street and 7th Avenue in Brooklyn.)
I was with my brother. We were in a big van that I drove.We stopped at the edge of a park, either a city park or a national park. I got out of the van and got back in. I had seen a park house at the top of the hill pretty easily from in front of the van. I was excited to go there. But I knew we had to get somewhere in the van.
I explained this to my brother. He responded positively and said, "Then I'll just spend a minute or two in the park. You can wait idling right here."
Previously we had been in something like a roadside parking area where cars pull in diagonally with the curb.
Now we were on the corner of an intersection. I thought, after a second or two of my brother being gone, Look how happy he was to go. I won't pressure him to leave. I'll pull in and park.
I pulled into a small, half-dirt, half-asphalt parking lot. There were only a few spaces. I parked in front of, i.e. front-to-front with, an army-green car that looked like a police car. I drove a tiny bit too far and ran off the asphalt and onto the dirt -- about a six- or seven-inch drop.
As I was trying to pull back, thinking it wouldn't be impressive to have my car like that in front of a "cop car," a "real" cop car's passengers called to me on a loudspeaker, telling me to pull away from the "cop car" and step out of my van. They thought I was a criminal for whom they had set up this green "cop car" as a decoy. I was already trying to pull back. but the asphalt drop was too steep for me to get up.
I looked back to the "real" cop car. Both cops were half out of their opened doors with their guns ppointing at me. They told me to forget pulling my van back and just to get out of the vehicle. Neither they nor I were sure they wouldn't shoot me, even if I did comply with their orders. They thought I was pretty dangerous.
We sent thoughts back and forth -- some woman had pegged me as a really bad person. I tried to explain (telepathically) that I knew who she was and that she had followed me around, but that I had never done anything bad in front of her. She had posed as a friend.
I thought back through all my memories of the woman, unable to believe the woman could have betrayed me. I tried to figure out whether she was trying to frame me for something she had done. All my memories, though, were of her (a blonde, mousy-looking, lower-middle-class woman, dry-skin-cheeked, worn-eyed) decking herself with household items from bargain stores. During some of my memories, she and I were making movies.
But I had one particular memory of sneaking up and catching the woman by surprise. The woman was decking herself for one of our movies. She was excited about it, but in a calm way. She had rolls of wide, clear tape on her head. She cut the rolls "into shape" with scissors.
I thought, The police must be lying. The woman really liked me and making movies with me. She wouldn't accuse me like this.
(Entered in paper journal at 11:07 PM at home in Brooklyn -- pretty sure immediately after waking from the dream.)
Dream 1
I sat by a computer doing a project -- radio/computer news -- "fair" in Kmart parking lot -- some area blocked off (by convenience store "van") where strange kid staring.
Later on, still by screen -- kid vanished. Something wrong with place, too, Hearing news as watching live scene of highway in Seattle. Talking of kid, kid probably in Seattle.
cars buzzing along highway. News stranger -- kid maybe insane -- then kid probably stolen by father -- father probably insane -- at first highway on web page, just live photos like on Vail.com website -- now action video, direct -- a car makes a tail of exhaust -- i thought, i could be watching them.
the highway seems closer and closer, until the "camera" is right there -- i click out, think, last thing I need is to get possessed by this madman -- as i click i send a car flying up and back down in Seattle -- the highway now my own -- see, as "radio" narrates, cars driving on grass, grass fields everywhere -- crashing, laying in ruts, broken, crashed cars everywhere -- "radio" narrates this is the junkyard, people come here to wreck their cars.
so now it seems like it should feel safe. But I feel even more afraid. And I still want to change "states" on the website, but I don't want to go to any other state. I'm afraid that the insane man will drive there, too, and possess me. --
Dream 2
(Entered in paper journal at 8:43 AM at Starbucks on 1st Street and 7th Avenue in Brooklyn.)
I was with my brother. We were in a big van that I drove.We stopped at the edge of a park, either a city park or a national park. I got out of the van and got back in. I had seen a park house at the top of the hill pretty easily from in front of the van. I was excited to go there. But I knew we had to get somewhere in the van.
I explained this to my brother. He responded positively and said, "Then I'll just spend a minute or two in the park. You can wait idling right here."
Previously we had been in something like a roadside parking area where cars pull in diagonally with the curb.
Now we were on the corner of an intersection. I thought, after a second or two of my brother being gone, Look how happy he was to go. I won't pressure him to leave. I'll pull in and park.
I pulled into a small, half-dirt, half-asphalt parking lot. There were only a few spaces. I parked in front of, i.e. front-to-front with, an army-green car that looked like a police car. I drove a tiny bit too far and ran off the asphalt and onto the dirt -- about a six- or seven-inch drop.
As I was trying to pull back, thinking it wouldn't be impressive to have my car like that in front of a "cop car," a "real" cop car's passengers called to me on a loudspeaker, telling me to pull away from the "cop car" and step out of my van. They thought I was a criminal for whom they had set up this green "cop car" as a decoy. I was already trying to pull back. but the asphalt drop was too steep for me to get up.
I looked back to the "real" cop car. Both cops were half out of their opened doors with their guns ppointing at me. They told me to forget pulling my van back and just to get out of the vehicle. Neither they nor I were sure they wouldn't shoot me, even if I did comply with their orders. They thought I was pretty dangerous.
We sent thoughts back and forth -- some woman had pegged me as a really bad person. I tried to explain (telepathically) that I knew who she was and that she had followed me around, but that I had never done anything bad in front of her. She had posed as a friend.
I thought back through all my memories of the woman, unable to believe the woman could have betrayed me. I tried to figure out whether she was trying to frame me for something she had done. All my memories, though, were of her (a blonde, mousy-looking, lower-middle-class woman, dry-skin-cheeked, worn-eyed) decking herself with household items from bargain stores. During some of my memories, she and I were making movies.
But I had one particular memory of sneaking up and catching the woman by surprise. The woman was decking herself for one of our movies. She was excited about it, but in a calm way. She had rolls of wide, clear tape on her head. She cut the rolls "into shape" with scissors.
I thought, The police must be lying. The woman really liked me and making movies with me. She wouldn't accuse me like this.
Sunday, February 12, 2017
(9/2/06) cards for the prisoners; hard time backing in; not quite six countries; friend in cafe; my landlady's garden
(Entered in paper journal on ??? train from Utica to Grand Army Plaza.)
Dream 1
I walked into a room like in a prison with a man who was showing me my new job. There was a two-step process regarding giving inmates identity cards.
Part of the way through the talk the man left. A prisoner was in the room with me. He was a rather calm, white person. This was my last day here. The prisoner said something like, "My card has already been XXXXX. Now it only needs to be verified."
The prisoner asked me about my card. I realized that I was a prisoner, too. I tried to figure out how I could have a job dealing out the cards while also being a prisoner.
I went to the door my instructor had gone through. It was either a thick, purple, metal door or a thick, wooden door. I couldn't open it, but it slid right open for the prisoner.
I called to my instructor, "I've learned how to XXXXX the card, but not how to verify it."
The door slid closed. The room, which had beefore been something ilke a hospital waiting room, was now floored with grimy, black cobbles. There was a grimy, black, concrete bench in the center of the room. Someone kept saying something about Red Square, like this place itself was Red Square.
Dream 2
I was in a car on a suburban street on a sunny day. The road curved around a wide circle of lawn. An Asian man, my teacher, got out of the car and told me, "Let's see how you drive. Back into that driveway."
The man got out. I switched seats. I pulled back into a steep driveway while the Asian man talked with someone. But somehow I almost messed up. The Asian man got back in the car, somewhat disappointed in me.
Dream 3
I knelt outside over dirt like in a dirt parking lot in the dark. My boss BS knelt beside me. I wrote in the "dirt" -- actually on a dusty wood pane like the surface of the door. I wrote country names and told BS, "In just the course of one day I've been to all six of these countries."
I had a lot of countries written down, but it "wasn't quite six." I looked closer to see that I'd even repeated some of the countries, such as the United States, Canada, and Mexico.
Dream 4
I sat on the floor of a cafe, brooding over some paragraphs from Charles Fort's Book of the Damned. The whole cafe was very nice, but old, with a lot of stuff made of wood.
I noticed a presence behind me. It was my old friend ML (in kind of baggy clothes, maybe a green jacket). He saw on the edge of a nice wood chair. I knew ML saw and was impressed by my deep concentration on my book. We stood up and walked away, talking about something.
Dream 5
I worked for UG, the landlady of the first place I'd lived in in Brooklyn. I was gardening a huge yard before a squarish, white house. I had left after admiring the garden but now I came back. I felt bad. I didn't want UG to feel I was trying to take her garden.
But I believe my mom wanted me to ask UG for something. I was about to walk up the steps to the house. But I stopped. I looked out at the beautiful, enormous garden at the ends of the large, pristine lawn. The day was sunny and misty, so everything seemed to sparkle like diamonds.
UG opened her door and came down her stairs. She stood on my left and pointed out the cloudy purples and dotty oranges from the flowers in the garden, telling me that her ability to garden had lessened over the years, but that she could still create very beautiful landscapes.
UG told me one key feature, the most complex, of the garden -- something to do with the "azaleas," which were smallish, narrow, holly-like shrubs with orange-pink flowers, which were near an iron fence.
Dream 1
I walked into a room like in a prison with a man who was showing me my new job. There was a two-step process regarding giving inmates identity cards.
Part of the way through the talk the man left. A prisoner was in the room with me. He was a rather calm, white person. This was my last day here. The prisoner said something like, "My card has already been XXXXX. Now it only needs to be verified."
The prisoner asked me about my card. I realized that I was a prisoner, too. I tried to figure out how I could have a job dealing out the cards while also being a prisoner.
I went to the door my instructor had gone through. It was either a thick, purple, metal door or a thick, wooden door. I couldn't open it, but it slid right open for the prisoner.
I called to my instructor, "I've learned how to XXXXX the card, but not how to verify it."
The door slid closed. The room, which had beefore been something ilke a hospital waiting room, was now floored with grimy, black cobbles. There was a grimy, black, concrete bench in the center of the room. Someone kept saying something about Red Square, like this place itself was Red Square.
Dream 2
I was in a car on a suburban street on a sunny day. The road curved around a wide circle of lawn. An Asian man, my teacher, got out of the car and told me, "Let's see how you drive. Back into that driveway."
The man got out. I switched seats. I pulled back into a steep driveway while the Asian man talked with someone. But somehow I almost messed up. The Asian man got back in the car, somewhat disappointed in me.
Dream 3
I knelt outside over dirt like in a dirt parking lot in the dark. My boss BS knelt beside me. I wrote in the "dirt" -- actually on a dusty wood pane like the surface of the door. I wrote country names and told BS, "In just the course of one day I've been to all six of these countries."
I had a lot of countries written down, but it "wasn't quite six." I looked closer to see that I'd even repeated some of the countries, such as the United States, Canada, and Mexico.
Dream 4
I sat on the floor of a cafe, brooding over some paragraphs from Charles Fort's Book of the Damned. The whole cafe was very nice, but old, with a lot of stuff made of wood.
I noticed a presence behind me. It was my old friend ML (in kind of baggy clothes, maybe a green jacket). He saw on the edge of a nice wood chair. I knew ML saw and was impressed by my deep concentration on my book. We stood up and walked away, talking about something.
Dream 5
I worked for UG, the landlady of the first place I'd lived in in Brooklyn. I was gardening a huge yard before a squarish, white house. I had left after admiring the garden but now I came back. I felt bad. I didn't want UG to feel I was trying to take her garden.
But I believe my mom wanted me to ask UG for something. I was about to walk up the steps to the house. But I stopped. I looked out at the beautiful, enormous garden at the ends of the large, pristine lawn. The day was sunny and misty, so everything seemed to sparkle like diamonds.
UG opened her door and came down her stairs. She stood on my left and pointed out the cloudy purples and dotty oranges from the flowers in the garden, telling me that her ability to garden had lessened over the years, but that she could still create very beautiful landscapes.
UG told me one key feature, the most complex, of the garden -- something to do with the "azaleas," which were smallish, narrow, holly-like shrubs with orange-pink flowers, which were near an iron fence.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
(8/19/07) i can't live with you guys!; embarrassing pink t-shirt
Dream #1
I woke up in a house I was living in with my family. I realized this first night I had spent with them would be only one of many nights. I didn't know how I had let myself lapse into living with my family again.
In panic I got out of bed and ran into my mom's room. All the rooms in the house were messy and had a half-fashioned feel to them. My mom slept on a low bed, perhaps like one mattress on a floor. Someone else slept on a similar "bed" beside her. The "beds" were at an odd angle to one another.
I yelled at my mom, "This is it! I can't do it! I can't live with you guys! I'm moving out today!"
Dream #2
I was in a car with my mom and my brother. It was night. We were driving around in a white-lit parking lot, possibly just after or at the end of a rainfall. My mom was driving. I may have been sitting in the backseat. I may possibly even have been playing with toys. I was the size of a child. I may have been a child. But I thought and spoke like an adult.
We were trying, by driving, to get into a botanical garden. My brother was getting a little frustrated. He was saying snide things about my mom's sense of direction. I said something like, "Well, she knows what she's doing. We'll be okay." We parked in a pace. We got out and walked toward a big fence that looked like fencing and scaffolding outside a construction area.
In a big, open space of parking lot, a black girl who was maybe about twelve years old was breakdancing. She wore a white t-shirt and pink dancing pants like sweatpants. The girl finished with a long series of barrel-roll bounces off the ground. A mother and another woman, both fat, stood by a car, watching the girl.
We continued our walk toward the gate. My brother and I may both have been adult-sized again. My brother said, "I need to go back to the car. I forgot my XXXXX."
I held my hands close to sternum, like I was cold, or like I was talking cute. I said, "That's a good idea. I need to go, too. I need to take off this shirt." I was wearing a girls' pink t-shirt with tiny sleeves.
My brother said, "It's about time. I was wondering when you were going to take that off. You look embarrassing."
I told my mom (who hadn't been visible this entire time, and still wasn't visible) that my brother and I were going back to the car.
I woke up in a house I was living in with my family. I realized this first night I had spent with them would be only one of many nights. I didn't know how I had let myself lapse into living with my family again.
In panic I got out of bed and ran into my mom's room. All the rooms in the house were messy and had a half-fashioned feel to them. My mom slept on a low bed, perhaps like one mattress on a floor. Someone else slept on a similar "bed" beside her. The "beds" were at an odd angle to one another.
I yelled at my mom, "This is it! I can't do it! I can't live with you guys! I'm moving out today!"
Dream #2
I was in a car with my mom and my brother. It was night. We were driving around in a white-lit parking lot, possibly just after or at the end of a rainfall. My mom was driving. I may have been sitting in the backseat. I may possibly even have been playing with toys. I was the size of a child. I may have been a child. But I thought and spoke like an adult.
We were trying, by driving, to get into a botanical garden. My brother was getting a little frustrated. He was saying snide things about my mom's sense of direction. I said something like, "Well, she knows what she's doing. We'll be okay." We parked in a pace. We got out and walked toward a big fence that looked like fencing and scaffolding outside a construction area.
In a big, open space of parking lot, a black girl who was maybe about twelve years old was breakdancing. She wore a white t-shirt and pink dancing pants like sweatpants. The girl finished with a long series of barrel-roll bounces off the ground. A mother and another woman, both fat, stood by a car, watching the girl.
We continued our walk toward the gate. My brother and I may both have been adult-sized again. My brother said, "I need to go back to the car. I forgot my XXXXX."
I held my hands close to sternum, like I was cold, or like I was talking cute. I said, "That's a good idea. I need to go, too. I need to take off this shirt." I was wearing a girls' pink t-shirt with tiny sleeves.
My brother said, "It's about time. I was wondering when you were going to take that off. You look embarrassing."
I told my mom (who hadn't been visible this entire time, and still wasn't visible) that my brother and I were going back to the car.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
(12/15/08) looking for car in rain
(Entered in paper journal at 11:20 AM, on Q-train from Brooklyn into Manhattan.)
Dream #1
It was night. I was coming out of a grocery store which may have had all its lights off. There may have been occasional flashes of lightning. I walked out of the shopping area and into a little pre-entrance area (which would normally have vending machines, etc.), holding the door behind me as I walked through. The door may have been electric, but it may have needed to be held open since all the power was out.
A couple women walked out the door behind me, but one woman wouldn't walk out while I held the door. She held the door and pushed on it until I got the idea and let go.
I walked out to the covered walkway that opened to the parking lot. It was raining heavily outside. There seemed to be a good amount of people rushing to and fro in the rain. The rain was so heavy it looked like a slightly luminious, grey cloud of impenetrable mist.
I was prepared to run through the rain to my car. I knew my umbrella would only slightly protect me, but that I would only get moderately wet if I hurried.
But I then realized that I had no idea where my car was in the parking lot. I was simultaneously trying to remember where my car was and trying to figure how wet I would get if I just made a mad dash through all the rows of the lot until I found my car.
Dream #1
It was night. I was coming out of a grocery store which may have had all its lights off. There may have been occasional flashes of lightning. I walked out of the shopping area and into a little pre-entrance area (which would normally have vending machines, etc.), holding the door behind me as I walked through. The door may have been electric, but it may have needed to be held open since all the power was out.
A couple women walked out the door behind me, but one woman wouldn't walk out while I held the door. She held the door and pushed on it until I got the idea and let go.
I walked out to the covered walkway that opened to the parking lot. It was raining heavily outside. There seemed to be a good amount of people rushing to and fro in the rain. The rain was so heavy it looked like a slightly luminious, grey cloud of impenetrable mist.
I was prepared to run through the rain to my car. I knew my umbrella would only slightly protect me, but that I would only get moderately wet if I hurried.
But I then realized that I had no idea where my car was in the parking lot. I was simultaneously trying to remember where my car was and trying to figure how wet I would get if I just made a mad dash through all the rows of the lot until I found my car.
Monday, December 31, 2012
(1/3/09) murder exam; asset classes; room 256; finally in trouble
(Entered in paper journal at 8:15 AM at Connecticut Muffin in Windsor Terrace, Brooklyn.)
Dream #1
I was in a car in a parking lot at night. The car may have had a dirty windshield. I was also taking a test, which may have "produced" the imagery I was experiencing, or which I may have been going over in my head while driving in the parking lot.
I may have done very well on the previous questions. The current question may have been the last question. I was worried whether I would do well. The question was something about a man who had killed a woman, possibly by poisoning her. The man was known as dangerous.
As the situation was being explained I drove up before the left side of a parked car. The car was black, styled like an old hearse (?) or Rolls Royce.
The question was now asked: "What would you do" (implying "in a professional position") "if you knew this information?" A list of choices may have been stated.
As the choices were being stated, I saw the speedometer of the black car, as if I were looking at it from a hunched or low position just to the right of the driver's seat -- which may have been the middle seat. I saw the "70" very clearly.
I chose the option of letting things be as they are and not telling anybody anything. In this way I would avoid all possible violence. The test answered that I had made the right choice.
I was now trying to drive out of the parking lot. I either couldn't find a way out of the parking lot or I was afraid to use all the exits I saw because I was afraid there were cops waiting for me at all the exits, ready to arrest me on any possible excuse they could give.
Dream #2
I was in a room like a classroom laboratory. A few wide, rectangular tables filled the room. A partition of tall bookshelves stood just a few feet before the doorway to the hallway. There might also have been a doorway to another classroom to my left as I sat facing the hallway doorway. The atmosphere was very nice and relaxed. The only light in the room was gentle, goldish-yellowish light coming from the windows, which may have been behind me. The whole feeling was very warm.
I sat with a few people from the institutional sales department and my boss BS. It was like a meeting we had just had was slowly breaking up. A salesperson (who actually looked like an assistant, AP) knelt down to talk to BS about a strategy idea BS had hinted at.
The salesperson discussed (in a voice so vivid I could feel it in my ears) how certain asset classes were becoming less attractive while others were becoming more attractive. In particular the man mentioned municipal bonds. He was giving numbers like three hundred or four hundred, which I can no longer remember.
Dream #3
I was walking through a high school hallway. I was there as part of a New York Cares project. The hallway was very busy. I didn't want to be mistaken for a student.
I knew what room number (256?) I needed to get to, but I couldn't find it. I may have walked through a number of hallways or classrooms as classes were getting settled in. I walked through a large area like a cafeteria that was full of kids and activity. There seemed to be bookshelves standing up at random intervals.
I looked at my watch. I seemed to be ten minutes early to my event. I thought I would have plenty of time, although I also felt like I was already late.
A female teacher, tall, young, and beautiful, asked me where I was trying to go. I may have showed her my New York Cares directions. The teacher pointed me to a doorway to another hallway.
I walked into the hallway. I was all alone. The setup was more like for an elementary school, with small bookshelves everywhere.
I came to an area of the hallway with a few doorways. The doorways were almost all cluttered together. The doorways seemed to open directly to classrooms. But I could tell just by looking into them that at least some of them only led into even more confusing hallways. Nevertheless, I thought room 256 was definitely reached through one of those doorways.
Dream #4
I was at work. The office was bright white and full of people and activity. All of the cubicles may have been scattered over with piles and piles of paper. People were all rushing, as if they were quickly getting all their things prepared for a move from one building to another.
I sat in my cubicle, listening over the phone to my co-worker and teammate DE talking to one of our clients about a stock. At some point, the client started criticizing DE's argument, showing that DE's outlook was too positive. The client started asking DE very specific questions, which DE couldn't answer.
Finally the client asked a very difficult question. But DE didn't answer at all. It was like he wasn't there. Suddenly even the client seemed to fade out.
I stood up to see what was going on. I looked to my left. DE's cubicle was a few down from mine, maybe thirty feet away. Through all the rushing of people I saw a group of three shortish, oldish men who looked like movers escorting DE out of his cubicle.
I may have hard someone explain that DE had been talking about things he shouldn't have been talking about in a period of time when we were expressly prohibited from contacting clients at all. I hoped the people would also be taking my boss BS away.
I was walking toward DE's cubicle. I saw BS' office. There were also a large group of people like movers in BS' office. I thought, Finally he's gotten in trouble for doing things he wasn't supposed to do.
I walked back to my desk. I thought, But I was listening in on the whole thing. Doesn't that mean I'll get in trouble, too? I tried to convince myself I wouldn't get in trouble. But I couldn't.
Dream #1
I was in a car in a parking lot at night. The car may have had a dirty windshield. I was also taking a test, which may have "produced" the imagery I was experiencing, or which I may have been going over in my head while driving in the parking lot.
I may have done very well on the previous questions. The current question may have been the last question. I was worried whether I would do well. The question was something about a man who had killed a woman, possibly by poisoning her. The man was known as dangerous.
As the situation was being explained I drove up before the left side of a parked car. The car was black, styled like an old hearse (?) or Rolls Royce.
The question was now asked: "What would you do" (implying "in a professional position") "if you knew this information?" A list of choices may have been stated.
As the choices were being stated, I saw the speedometer of the black car, as if I were looking at it from a hunched or low position just to the right of the driver's seat -- which may have been the middle seat. I saw the "70" very clearly.
I chose the option of letting things be as they are and not telling anybody anything. In this way I would avoid all possible violence. The test answered that I had made the right choice.
I was now trying to drive out of the parking lot. I either couldn't find a way out of the parking lot or I was afraid to use all the exits I saw because I was afraid there were cops waiting for me at all the exits, ready to arrest me on any possible excuse they could give.
Dream #2
I was in a room like a classroom laboratory. A few wide, rectangular tables filled the room. A partition of tall bookshelves stood just a few feet before the doorway to the hallway. There might also have been a doorway to another classroom to my left as I sat facing the hallway doorway. The atmosphere was very nice and relaxed. The only light in the room was gentle, goldish-yellowish light coming from the windows, which may have been behind me. The whole feeling was very warm.
I sat with a few people from the institutional sales department and my boss BS. It was like a meeting we had just had was slowly breaking up. A salesperson (who actually looked like an assistant, AP) knelt down to talk to BS about a strategy idea BS had hinted at.
The salesperson discussed (in a voice so vivid I could feel it in my ears) how certain asset classes were becoming less attractive while others were becoming more attractive. In particular the man mentioned municipal bonds. He was giving numbers like three hundred or four hundred, which I can no longer remember.
Dream #3
I was walking through a high school hallway. I was there as part of a New York Cares project. The hallway was very busy. I didn't want to be mistaken for a student.
I knew what room number (256?) I needed to get to, but I couldn't find it. I may have walked through a number of hallways or classrooms as classes were getting settled in. I walked through a large area like a cafeteria that was full of kids and activity. There seemed to be bookshelves standing up at random intervals.
I looked at my watch. I seemed to be ten minutes early to my event. I thought I would have plenty of time, although I also felt like I was already late.
A female teacher, tall, young, and beautiful, asked me where I was trying to go. I may have showed her my New York Cares directions. The teacher pointed me to a doorway to another hallway.
I walked into the hallway. I was all alone. The setup was more like for an elementary school, with small bookshelves everywhere.
I came to an area of the hallway with a few doorways. The doorways were almost all cluttered together. The doorways seemed to open directly to classrooms. But I could tell just by looking into them that at least some of them only led into even more confusing hallways. Nevertheless, I thought room 256 was definitely reached through one of those doorways.
Dream #4
I was at work. The office was bright white and full of people and activity. All of the cubicles may have been scattered over with piles and piles of paper. People were all rushing, as if they were quickly getting all their things prepared for a move from one building to another.
I sat in my cubicle, listening over the phone to my co-worker and teammate DE talking to one of our clients about a stock. At some point, the client started criticizing DE's argument, showing that DE's outlook was too positive. The client started asking DE very specific questions, which DE couldn't answer.
Finally the client asked a very difficult question. But DE didn't answer at all. It was like he wasn't there. Suddenly even the client seemed to fade out.
I stood up to see what was going on. I looked to my left. DE's cubicle was a few down from mine, maybe thirty feet away. Through all the rushing of people I saw a group of three shortish, oldish men who looked like movers escorting DE out of his cubicle.
I may have hard someone explain that DE had been talking about things he shouldn't have been talking about in a period of time when we were expressly prohibited from contacting clients at all. I hoped the people would also be taking my boss BS away.
I was walking toward DE's cubicle. I saw BS' office. There were also a large group of people like movers in BS' office. I thought, Finally he's gotten in trouble for doing things he wasn't supposed to do.
I walked back to my desk. I thought, But I was listening in on the whole thing. Doesn't that mean I'll get in trouble, too? I tried to convince myself I wouldn't get in trouble. But I couldn't.
(1/4/09) science parking lot; missing 2-train; boss' new reports; panties at ross; stopping a death
(Entered in paper journal at 8:20 AM at Connecticut Muffin in Windsor Terrace, Brooklyn.)
Dream #1
I may have been driving a car in a gravel and asphalt parking lot in the mountains. It was daytime. I tried to park the car in a space, but I stopped just before the space. The lot had seemed relatively empty before. Now it was slightly full. There may have been cars in line behind me, also waiting to park. At some point I was on a bicycle instead of in a car.
An old man was directing us into spaces. The old man looked tallish. He was slightly wrinkled, with a slick, bald head and tanned skin. I was directed into a specific space which may have been in a cobble-filled section of parking lot. But I looked around and saw that the space I had wanted to park in was still open.
I pulled my bike out of my current space and rode in some kind of clockwise ellipse to get to the desired space. As I did I rode over a patch of cobblestones littered either with long shards of bottle glass or long shards of the hard shell of some fruit, like a coconut. My tires may have gotten slashed.
I tried again to park in the space, but was once again directed into the space I had been directed to before. This time some of the parking spaces may have had signs, like white signs with black lettering on wooden stakes. The signs may have had professions on them, many of which had to do with the sciences.
As soon as I got into my directed space again I pulled right back out of it. I ran over the long shards again and thought again how I must have ripped up my tires. I looked to the opposite side of the parking lot. There were a couple open spaces there. One space with a scientific title looked particularly interesting to me.
I may have started to head over that way. But now I realized that I hadn't been taking care of my bike. I thought to myself that I really should take care of my bicycle. I either stopped myself or I was stopped by someone else.
A woman somewhere, dressed like a stereotypical Greek goddess, but with weird spikes of pale wood in her hair, reprimanded me. She told me that I kept injuring my bike because I wouldn't stay in my own space. She told me that I neglected my bike all the time, and that the next time I did it, she would take it away from me.
Dream #2
It was night. I got off of one subway train and was walking along a platform to another. I was outside, in an area like the platform for the NJ Transit trains from the Newark airport.
I was looking for a 2-train. I was on an upper tier. I needed to walk down a series of steps to get to the 2-train platform. As I walked down the steps I saw the 2-train pass, but on a center track, not stopping at this platform. I wondered if I was in the right place to catch this train.
Another train may have stopped here not long after. The train seemed much taller than usual, and the entrance to the train seemed to be too high for me to step into comfortably.
Dream #3
I was at the office. It may have been night. The office was fully lit. I was laying on an enormous, thick bed, possibly with pale grey-blue sheets and no blanket. The pillows seemed to be fitted into the bed. I may have been eating something like pasta in a chili sauce.
A trader from my company, B, walked up to the right side of my bed. I lay on my right side. B asked me how everything was going. I tried to be positive, and I spoke about how I was excited for how my BS' launch was going to go.
(In waking life, I had, by this point, been removed from my boss' research team, although I was still coming into the office every day. I helped my boss out with little projects here and there. But I was not directly involved in the post-merger re-launch of all his previous research coverage, nor in the launch of the research of any of the companies he would be doing new research on. At this point in time, my boss was also going through the approval process on his reports with the heads of our department.)
As I said this, BS passed my bed and walked into his office, off beyond the head of the bed and to the right. I asked B how BS had done on his presentation. B said (maybe just judging by the rushed, annoyed manner in which BS walked to his office) that there was probably a lot BS had to work on for his reports.
Dream #4
I walked down out of some ramped hallway like in an airport or a hospital. I ended up in a plaza area that had the spatial feel of the Coney Island subway stop. It may even have opened directly onto a beach. But it was actually the entrance to a large discount clothing store, like a Ross Dress for Less.
I at first walked past the store, thinking it was nothing. Then I realized what it was and quickly turned around to enter. I had to walk though gates that were like subway turnstiles. I scurried through a wide open space that was moderately busy with people, possibly mainly Hispanic families.
I was searching for the lingerie section. I thought I would go get a lot of cheap lingerie. I found the section. It was enormous -- there was section after section. I looked around every once in a while to make sure nobody I knew was here. I couldn't find anything in particular as I passed through the different sections quickly. I was currently just trying to figure out how many sections there were in this whole place. I was really just glancing at all the racks.
I may have grabbed a couple really big pairs of cotton panties. I may have thought to myself how my mom would fit into these panties better than I. There may have been two pairs: one dull blue and the other dullish white-grey, both with a speckled pattern like mini leopard print.
I walked into a smaller section, which had satiny-looking items, darkish pink and other vivid colors. There might have been a few Hispanic girls or women looking around here. I hoped they wouldn't think badly of me because I was looking around here.
Dream #5
I may have been at a party with my co-workers CT and CL. I may have gone to sleep and woken up. I was somewhere like a living room, with the front door open to the bright daylight outside. The room itself was very narrow. There may have been a (half-empty?) bookshelf along the wall to my left. I was sitting on the floor, as if I had pulled myself up from sleeping on my back.
There were a couple people before me, maybe including CT. They were explaining to me how CL had died the night before. After the party, CL had left CT. CL had already been extremely drunk. But he had apparently gone somewhere else and had had even more to drink. He might have collapsed on the street before getting home, later dying of alcohol poisoning.
While this was all being explained to me, I felt like there was some way I could go back in time and stop it, as if, if I could just hear what had happened and visualize it strongly enough, I could "pull" myself back into the situation and go with CL wherever he went after the party, keeping him from getting too drunk.
Dream #1
I may have been driving a car in a gravel and asphalt parking lot in the mountains. It was daytime. I tried to park the car in a space, but I stopped just before the space. The lot had seemed relatively empty before. Now it was slightly full. There may have been cars in line behind me, also waiting to park. At some point I was on a bicycle instead of in a car.
An old man was directing us into spaces. The old man looked tallish. He was slightly wrinkled, with a slick, bald head and tanned skin. I was directed into a specific space which may have been in a cobble-filled section of parking lot. But I looked around and saw that the space I had wanted to park in was still open.
I pulled my bike out of my current space and rode in some kind of clockwise ellipse to get to the desired space. As I did I rode over a patch of cobblestones littered either with long shards of bottle glass or long shards of the hard shell of some fruit, like a coconut. My tires may have gotten slashed.
I tried again to park in the space, but was once again directed into the space I had been directed to before. This time some of the parking spaces may have had signs, like white signs with black lettering on wooden stakes. The signs may have had professions on them, many of which had to do with the sciences.
As soon as I got into my directed space again I pulled right back out of it. I ran over the long shards again and thought again how I must have ripped up my tires. I looked to the opposite side of the parking lot. There were a couple open spaces there. One space with a scientific title looked particularly interesting to me.
I may have started to head over that way. But now I realized that I hadn't been taking care of my bike. I thought to myself that I really should take care of my bicycle. I either stopped myself or I was stopped by someone else.
A woman somewhere, dressed like a stereotypical Greek goddess, but with weird spikes of pale wood in her hair, reprimanded me. She told me that I kept injuring my bike because I wouldn't stay in my own space. She told me that I neglected my bike all the time, and that the next time I did it, she would take it away from me.
Dream #2
It was night. I got off of one subway train and was walking along a platform to another. I was outside, in an area like the platform for the NJ Transit trains from the Newark airport.
I was looking for a 2-train. I was on an upper tier. I needed to walk down a series of steps to get to the 2-train platform. As I walked down the steps I saw the 2-train pass, but on a center track, not stopping at this platform. I wondered if I was in the right place to catch this train.
Another train may have stopped here not long after. The train seemed much taller than usual, and the entrance to the train seemed to be too high for me to step into comfortably.
Dream #3
I was at the office. It may have been night. The office was fully lit. I was laying on an enormous, thick bed, possibly with pale grey-blue sheets and no blanket. The pillows seemed to be fitted into the bed. I may have been eating something like pasta in a chili sauce.
A trader from my company, B, walked up to the right side of my bed. I lay on my right side. B asked me how everything was going. I tried to be positive, and I spoke about how I was excited for how my BS' launch was going to go.
(In waking life, I had, by this point, been removed from my boss' research team, although I was still coming into the office every day. I helped my boss out with little projects here and there. But I was not directly involved in the post-merger re-launch of all his previous research coverage, nor in the launch of the research of any of the companies he would be doing new research on. At this point in time, my boss was also going through the approval process on his reports with the heads of our department.)
As I said this, BS passed my bed and walked into his office, off beyond the head of the bed and to the right. I asked B how BS had done on his presentation. B said (maybe just judging by the rushed, annoyed manner in which BS walked to his office) that there was probably a lot BS had to work on for his reports.
Dream #4
I walked down out of some ramped hallway like in an airport or a hospital. I ended up in a plaza area that had the spatial feel of the Coney Island subway stop. It may even have opened directly onto a beach. But it was actually the entrance to a large discount clothing store, like a Ross Dress for Less.
I at first walked past the store, thinking it was nothing. Then I realized what it was and quickly turned around to enter. I had to walk though gates that were like subway turnstiles. I scurried through a wide open space that was moderately busy with people, possibly mainly Hispanic families.
I was searching for the lingerie section. I thought I would go get a lot of cheap lingerie. I found the section. It was enormous -- there was section after section. I looked around every once in a while to make sure nobody I knew was here. I couldn't find anything in particular as I passed through the different sections quickly. I was currently just trying to figure out how many sections there were in this whole place. I was really just glancing at all the racks.
I may have grabbed a couple really big pairs of cotton panties. I may have thought to myself how my mom would fit into these panties better than I. There may have been two pairs: one dull blue and the other dullish white-grey, both with a speckled pattern like mini leopard print.
I walked into a smaller section, which had satiny-looking items, darkish pink and other vivid colors. There might have been a few Hispanic girls or women looking around here. I hoped they wouldn't think badly of me because I was looking around here.
Dream #5
I may have been at a party with my co-workers CT and CL. I may have gone to sleep and woken up. I was somewhere like a living room, with the front door open to the bright daylight outside. The room itself was very narrow. There may have been a (half-empty?) bookshelf along the wall to my left. I was sitting on the floor, as if I had pulled myself up from sleeping on my back.
There were a couple people before me, maybe including CT. They were explaining to me how CL had died the night before. After the party, CL had left CT. CL had already been extremely drunk. But he had apparently gone somewhere else and had had even more to drink. He might have collapsed on the street before getting home, later dying of alcohol poisoning.
While this was all being explained to me, I felt like there was some way I could go back in time and stop it, as if, if I could just hear what had happened and visualize it strongly enough, I could "pull" myself back into the situation and go with CL wherever he went after the party, keeping him from getting too drunk.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
(2/4/09) i look awful; athletic heroes
(Entered in paper journal at 9 AM at Starbucks at Thirty-seventh Street and Park Avenue in Manhattan.)
Dream #1
I was sitting in a car in a parking lot that may have been partly asphalt and partly dirt. The parking lot was wide and empty. It was a sunny day. I was on the phone with my old boss and mentor EB, who may have been talking to me about how I needed to shape up in some way or another. I stood out of the car and was walking around, toward the front of the parking lot.
Coming into the parking lot were a few people I knew (and possibly some others I didn't know). At the front of this group was my old friend PD, who looked very good. She was tanned, thin, with good muscle tone and rich, blonde hair. I hoped PD wouldn't recognize me, and that if she did, that she'd think I was awful and want to avoid me. I didn't want PD to mention me to my old friend R.
I thought to myself, Well, thankfully, I do look awful. I looked down at myself. I was wearing an awful, old, orange t-shirt and a pair of khaki shorts (what I, at this time in my life, was wearing for pajamas). I could tell I had lost a lot of weight, and that my hair and beard looked terrible. Continuing my phone conversation, I started scratching my ribs. Looking at my pose in the shadow on the dirt, I was satisfied that I really looked horrible -- I looked just like a drug addict or a diseased person.
I scuttled off toward my left, toward the chain-link fence boundary there, working my way back up toward my car. I was still talking with EB. I got back to my car. I few people I knew, including PD, were gathered around a picnic area near the car, as if we were in a national forest or in front of someone's house. My car, which had previously been exposed to sunlight in the parking lot, was now shaded over by a few trees. People were carrying things into the picnic area.
I had stepped into my car again. I was now ashamed for the appearance of my car (which was a very old Eagle that, in waking life, I'd owned while living in Arizona and New Mexico about seven years previous to this dream). The car looked okay. It was pretty empty. The back seats were pulled down so there was plenty of laying-down space. There was "car-trash" near the edges -- little scraps of paper, old scum, small change.
But I thought of the car as being extremely messy (in waking life, that car did end up being extremely cluttered, even filthy, as, toward the end of my stay in New Mexico, I began living in my car to save up money to get back to New York, and I had no other place to store all of my books, notebooks -- and the piles of cheap lingerie I would compulsively buy). I didn't want PD to see the car and know I lived in such an awful place.
I was somehow able to stand up completely straight inside the car. I now walked back out of the car, still speaking on the phone with EB. I agreed very loudly with something EB had said, so that PD would see I was talking with someone very important, like EB. PD didn't seem to pay me very much attention.
I was now in the back of the car. EB was telling me something about how I should really take better care of my clothing. I agreed with EB. I really wished I could take better care of my clothing.
From one of the hooks or seat-belt fixtures in the ceiling of the car, down diagonally to the window (?) on the left side of the car, were strung a neatly arranged bundle of scarves. The scarves were of different colors, all solid. One scarf was a creamy white. Another was an elegant maroon. The scarves all looked like women's scarves.
I thought I would look better if I wore these scarves, but I didn't think that was practical or reasonable, possibly because I couldn't wear so many scarves, or possibly because the scarves were women's scarves.
Dream #2
I was in a crowded bar with my old boss BS. The bar was a big square in the center of the room. The place might have been a sports bar. The floors, bar, and walls were wood. There might have been a second level around three walls of the fir first floor (?). There were neon signs on the walls and a large television screen covering most of the back wall.
BS and I were walking around the bar counter-clockwise, easily, as if the crowd were there but had none of the "push" of usual bar crowds. I was telling BS about a high school cross country runner who'd been one of my idols when I was in high school. I told BS that the runner hadn't been as famous as Adam Goucher (who actually had been a cross country star and and idol of mine when I was in high school), but how on a number of occasions he'd actually given Adam Goucher a good run for his money.
I could see two runners in a track race. Adam Goucher may have been wearing a red outfit, while the other person wore a blue one. The other person may have had an olive complexion, wavy, brown hair, a little stubble, and a lot of chest hair, and may have been a little more strongly built than Adam Goucher.
I then spoke with BS about Adam Goucher, and how he was really good in college, but how I really didn't know how he ended up professionally. Now the television screen was showing a high school (?) track race in which Adam Goucher was running. At least Adam Goucher, but possibly also a few other runners, had their running shirts' bottoms pulled up over their chests, exposing females breasts.
Dream #1
I was sitting in a car in a parking lot that may have been partly asphalt and partly dirt. The parking lot was wide and empty. It was a sunny day. I was on the phone with my old boss and mentor EB, who may have been talking to me about how I needed to shape up in some way or another. I stood out of the car and was walking around, toward the front of the parking lot.
Coming into the parking lot were a few people I knew (and possibly some others I didn't know). At the front of this group was my old friend PD, who looked very good. She was tanned, thin, with good muscle tone and rich, blonde hair. I hoped PD wouldn't recognize me, and that if she did, that she'd think I was awful and want to avoid me. I didn't want PD to mention me to my old friend R.
I thought to myself, Well, thankfully, I do look awful. I looked down at myself. I was wearing an awful, old, orange t-shirt and a pair of khaki shorts (what I, at this time in my life, was wearing for pajamas). I could tell I had lost a lot of weight, and that my hair and beard looked terrible. Continuing my phone conversation, I started scratching my ribs. Looking at my pose in the shadow on the dirt, I was satisfied that I really looked horrible -- I looked just like a drug addict or a diseased person.
I scuttled off toward my left, toward the chain-link fence boundary there, working my way back up toward my car. I was still talking with EB. I got back to my car. I few people I knew, including PD, were gathered around a picnic area near the car, as if we were in a national forest or in front of someone's house. My car, which had previously been exposed to sunlight in the parking lot, was now shaded over by a few trees. People were carrying things into the picnic area.
I had stepped into my car again. I was now ashamed for the appearance of my car (which was a very old Eagle that, in waking life, I'd owned while living in Arizona and New Mexico about seven years previous to this dream). The car looked okay. It was pretty empty. The back seats were pulled down so there was plenty of laying-down space. There was "car-trash" near the edges -- little scraps of paper, old scum, small change.
But I thought of the car as being extremely messy (in waking life, that car did end up being extremely cluttered, even filthy, as, toward the end of my stay in New Mexico, I began living in my car to save up money to get back to New York, and I had no other place to store all of my books, notebooks -- and the piles of cheap lingerie I would compulsively buy). I didn't want PD to see the car and know I lived in such an awful place.
I was somehow able to stand up completely straight inside the car. I now walked back out of the car, still speaking on the phone with EB. I agreed very loudly with something EB had said, so that PD would see I was talking with someone very important, like EB. PD didn't seem to pay me very much attention.
I was now in the back of the car. EB was telling me something about how I should really take better care of my clothing. I agreed with EB. I really wished I could take better care of my clothing.
From one of the hooks or seat-belt fixtures in the ceiling of the car, down diagonally to the window (?) on the left side of the car, were strung a neatly arranged bundle of scarves. The scarves were of different colors, all solid. One scarf was a creamy white. Another was an elegant maroon. The scarves all looked like women's scarves.
I thought I would look better if I wore these scarves, but I didn't think that was practical or reasonable, possibly because I couldn't wear so many scarves, or possibly because the scarves were women's scarves.
Dream #2
I was in a crowded bar with my old boss BS. The bar was a big square in the center of the room. The place might have been a sports bar. The floors, bar, and walls were wood. There might have been a second level around three walls of the fir first floor (?). There were neon signs on the walls and a large television screen covering most of the back wall.
BS and I were walking around the bar counter-clockwise, easily, as if the crowd were there but had none of the "push" of usual bar crowds. I was telling BS about a high school cross country runner who'd been one of my idols when I was in high school. I told BS that the runner hadn't been as famous as Adam Goucher (who actually had been a cross country star and and idol of mine when I was in high school), but how on a number of occasions he'd actually given Adam Goucher a good run for his money.
I could see two runners in a track race. Adam Goucher may have been wearing a red outfit, while the other person wore a blue one. The other person may have had an olive complexion, wavy, brown hair, a little stubble, and a lot of chest hair, and may have been a little more strongly built than Adam Goucher.
I then spoke with BS about Adam Goucher, and how he was really good in college, but how I really didn't know how he ended up professionally. Now the television screen was showing a high school (?) track race in which Adam Goucher was running. At least Adam Goucher, but possibly also a few other runners, had their running shirts' bottoms pulled up over their chests, exposing females breasts.
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