(5/9/05) astral projection; looking at my astral hands; not going clothes shopping

(Entered in paper journal at 5:45 AM at home in Harlem.)

Dream 1

I was lying on "my" bed on the left side of "my" room, which was narrow and long and very tall and had a tall window at the wall beyond the foot of my bed. The window may have been letting in thunderous light.

My eyes were closed. I felt really heavy vibrations all throughout my body. I told myself to lift out of my body. But I didn't really believe it was possible, and I didn't really know what to expect from my sensations. So I told myself to open my out-of-body eyes, but to keep my body eyes closed. I didn't know how to do this or what it would feel like, but I somehow managed to do it.

My body eyes at first opened a bit. But I closed them and simply continued opening my OBE eyes. I now attempted to do an astral projection. I may have gotten a couple inches out of my body. But I may have just been feeling things and translating them to sight.

Dream 2 (?)

Now the bed was more centered in the room, though still toward the left. I don't know if I "attempted again" or if it was like I "hadn't attempted before." I opened my eyes. I wasn't even sure which eyes I had opened or if I was dreaming or if it even mattered at all.

I lifted up my hands so I could see them. The thundery light, I'm pretty sure, was the normal purple-white of lightning. But my hands were also reflecting a greenish glow from somewhere. I thought, How strange! Just like in don Juan Matus -- I'm looking at my hands.

Then my left hand half-disappeared, like a phantom hand. I thought, This is my OBE body, not my physical body. It's already lifted out partly. I tried to lift the rest of the way out, but the same feelings of "burden of proof," disbelief, and not knowing what to  feel rose up strongly.

Dream 3

It was daytime. I was in a house like my mom's friend TH's old house with some attractive kids who were maybe in their early twenties and some adults. The kids all decided, after I had some strange conversation with one girl, to go clothes shopping. But one girl was staying. I, too, decided to stay when I thought that leaving my messy room (full of women's clothes) unattended might lead to snoopy folks causing my embarrassment.

As I walked back into the house I thought, I guess that makes all three of us from my group. And the other three are leaving.