(Entered in paper journal at 5:50 AM at home in Harlem.)
Dream 1
I went to some party or convention-type getaway which I believe was Christian and possibly for universities. The building was like a hotel, very tall and wide, but also with the feeling of a tacky, thin housing complex. The convention/party took up the whole hotel.
I went into a room which was blue in the darkness, like it was lit by TV screens. The room was huge and lined with wide, rolling beds which different groups of friends lay on together. They all had things with them, like duffel bags, food, etc. It was like the beds would roll us all to the next part of this party.
I found an empty bed and lay down. I wore a purple camisole. Next to me was someone I didn't know, maybe a man. Behind me was a couple I didn't know. The lady on my side looked like my Los Alamos Americorps coworker and friend AL. She giggled at me and told me my look wasn't working, though my body was okay.
I told her I wished I could have shaved my face. She said, "Well, yeah. That's kind of bad. But it's also... your... smell. You should have showered before you put on that outfit. Now you're so obviously a man."
I thought, People are just going to laugh at me if I keep wearing this. So I went to change.
I don't know what happened next. But now I was in a full room, small like an apartment room, and bright. Everybody was cramming into the doorway to the crammed stairwell. They were all holding tickets or programs. I was trying to get out of this place altogether. Everybody else was trying to get to some big concert.
I worked through the crowd and got right to the doorway. Some guy I didn't know asked me if I was going to the concert.
I said, "Oh, I'm not sure yet."
He said, "Oh, but XXXXX is awesome! That's where I'm going. But isn't it great they give you a choice of concerts? XXXXX and XXXXX are also playing. You could go watch any of them."
I hesitated. I asked if I could see the program. I did like one of the other groups mentioned. I saw that they were playing.
I told the guy, "Well, I may go see XXXXX."
But he said, "No. You can't do that now. You'd have to have made different reservations." He showed me the program again. The other two groups were playing at venues halfway across the country or world.
I still hesitated about leaving, thinking I might go see the concert here. After all, they might be as good as XXXXX. But I decided still to try to leave.
(Continued entry at 4:50 PM. No location info given.)
I walked toward a mirror, still feeling foolish about having been dressed as a girl while looking the way I looked. But now my thought was more about how silly it was to have tried to look pretty while my face was so covered with acne. But now I saw that I didn't have much of a beard. And I was surprised by how nice my face actually looked.
I was suddenly (?) in a hotel room. Somewhere were tables full of peanuts and chocolate candies, piles. The dresser with the TV also had piles of these candies and nuts. I slightly remember having had handfuls of this stuff at some point, passing it around to people.
But now I had just woken up, as if from a drunken party. I woke to a text message from my mom saying my grandpa had died. I now definitely needed to get out of this place. I needed to get home for the funeral. I even think I was trying to get a hold of my mom, but I couldn't do it unless I was out of the hotel.
I walked out of the hallway. I saw my crew mate and friend MG. Then behind him went his girlfriend, who looked like my co-volunteer at my Flagstaff national park volunteer project, DD. They went into a room.
I thought for sure the girl was DD. So I followed them into the room. But when I got in, the woman was actually some tall, Asian woman. We had some conversation I felt was just a waste of time. But it also made me feel inferior. So I kept talking, just to make myself feel less inferior.
Dream 2
I walked into a United Parcel Service location. MM, my old boss from my UPS job in Santa Fe, worked there. I was coming to see him. I saw him. He was busy. So I went into the docks area under the pretense of seeing old sights, but really so I could just remain inconspicuous.
There were a lot of boxes. The place was actually a storage room with which I was familiar. Even the boxes looked familiar (i.e. despite the fact that, in waking life, I wouldn't have worked at or visited "this UPS" in a little under two years; so the "familiar" boxes wouldn't have moved in almost two years). The room, the whole dock area, was pitch black overall, with just some track-light spotlights throwing concentrated light on isolated areas.
I left the room and saw MM sitting just inside the docks area, by the door to the customer area, at a spotlit desk, doing something at a computer.
I asked him what he was doing. He laughed gently, like a teacher eager to give information to a naive student. He said he was working out a contest, the winner of which would receive a $150 scholarship. I wondered how a puny $150 was going to do a student any good.
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