(Entered in paper journal at 5:34 PM on Q-train from 57th Street and 7th Avenue in Manhattan to Brooklyn.)
Dream 1
I was in an airport. I was supposed to pick up luggage which my maternal grandfather had sent. I would send the luggage to him so he could go on a flight. The pickup room was wide, small, grey, with grey carpet and full of folding tables. It was busy, but I didn't have to stand in line.
The worker (behind a folding table) gave me three bags. He said, "So I see your grandfather is going to XXXXX." (Czechoslovakia? The Czech Republic?)
I was surprised by this. I said, "It couldn't be."
I looked at the tags on my grandpa's luggage. Each tag named a place my grandpa had been approved to go to. One piece had a tag saying Russia. Another had a tag saying Prague. The one in the middle had a tag saying, "One of the most beautiful of all places." I was happy that my grandpa got to go there. I also thought when I saw the Prague sticker, Well, there you are -- XXXXX (the Czech Republic?) after all.
The worker told me, "It seems like you waited too long for this -- look at the dates."
One of the tags had my grandpa approved for travel for November 22nd. I realized that it wa November 23rd or that I wouldn't be able to get the bag to my grandpa until November 23rd.
I was in a large area or hallway full of restaurant tables. A wide window showed a few airplanes. I fell backwards, possibly over a seat, full of grief that I had missed the shipment date for my grandpa's luggage. I thought, There still has to be a way he can go.
Dream 2
Somebody at work had done something bad. The only or the key way to prove it was by using my acquaintance with my co-worker AB as evidence. So AB and I had to act like we didn't know each other.
We were in a big, empty room like a classroom, with hard, concrete floors and a bleachers-style stepping up of concrete towards the back wall. I sat on the steps.
Our department director JS walked in to investigate. AB came up and introduced herself to me as if we had met for the first time. When she did this, JS was satisfied. She walked out, excusing whatever bad thing had been done.
Dream 3
I got out of the show and saw my ankles were covered in a dark, dull, pine-green mold. I couldn't believe it. I looked again. A lot of places on my feet were patched with quarter-sized spots of this mold. I wondered how I could let myself get so dirty.
Dream 4
I sat on a weird, tall couch with my co-worker FA. I was flirting with her. She was going to let me seduce her. But when I looked at her again, her face was somehow very dirty -- it was like she had acne, but the acne wasn't really there. Her face wasn't dirty -- but it was.
Showing posts with label seduction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label seduction. Show all posts
Saturday, February 4, 2017
Sunday, February 17, 2013
(9/13/07) dismembered; snowboarding; who drank too much; tree corners
(Entered in paper journal at 6:45 AM at Starbucks on 56th Street and Sixth Avenue in Manhattan.)
Dream #1
I walked in a parking lot full of cars. As I did I thought about soldiers who had had their limbs blown off in the Iraq War. I had been walking from the left to the right side of an aisle of cars. Now I walked up a hill. I now stood near the top of the hill and at the end of the dirt lot. I stood between two large objects, possibly buildings. I looked down a steep hill and saw a city, perhaps a desert city.
Dream #2
I saw a man's feet trying to do some kind of footwork on a snowboard in the snow. The man's left foot was near the back of the board and at a right angle to his right foot. The man would lift up his left foot and try to stomp down onto the board in some way. But he would end up stomping down onto the snow.
Dream #3
I was at some party, possibly with a bunch of co-workers. We had been sitting at a long, square table in a long area with a few tables like ours. The area was elevated by a small staircase and overlooked the rest of the "restaurant," like a little balcony.
My memory was swimming, as if I had been drunk. I was trying to convince a short, oldish, Mexican woman that she had drank a lot more than she thought she had. Everybody was disordered, wandering all around our area.
Dream #4
I stood on a street corner. I heard my co-worker MD talking about how our boss DO would always leave right around time for the initiation report presentations for the companies our team was just beginning to cover, leaving MD to do all the work of speaking with the clients.
I stared up. Hanging over me, to my left, beside a telephone pole, were branches of an ailanthus (?) tree, its leafs golden-green from the light of the unseen sun. Below and through the glowing canopy I could see the corner or a pink-bricked building and a square of deep blue sky. Behind me, I knew, perhaps, because I had seen it before, was another redbrick building with a yellow-canopied honeylocust tree in front of it.
It was now like I was flying, sideways, down the street, so that I flew from my right to my left. I saw building fronts like in a small town's main street, glowing in the golden sun.
I could still hear MD speaking. He now said something like, "You should see how DO does it with girls." He then continued with some story of a girl DO seduced (DO, happily married, would NOT have done something like that in waking life) while out on a business trip.
Dream #1
I walked in a parking lot full of cars. As I did I thought about soldiers who had had their limbs blown off in the Iraq War. I had been walking from the left to the right side of an aisle of cars. Now I walked up a hill. I now stood near the top of the hill and at the end of the dirt lot. I stood between two large objects, possibly buildings. I looked down a steep hill and saw a city, perhaps a desert city.
Dream #2
I saw a man's feet trying to do some kind of footwork on a snowboard in the snow. The man's left foot was near the back of the board and at a right angle to his right foot. The man would lift up his left foot and try to stomp down onto the board in some way. But he would end up stomping down onto the snow.
Dream #3
I was at some party, possibly with a bunch of co-workers. We had been sitting at a long, square table in a long area with a few tables like ours. The area was elevated by a small staircase and overlooked the rest of the "restaurant," like a little balcony.
My memory was swimming, as if I had been drunk. I was trying to convince a short, oldish, Mexican woman that she had drank a lot more than she thought she had. Everybody was disordered, wandering all around our area.
Dream #4
I stood on a street corner. I heard my co-worker MD talking about how our boss DO would always leave right around time for the initiation report presentations for the companies our team was just beginning to cover, leaving MD to do all the work of speaking with the clients.
I stared up. Hanging over me, to my left, beside a telephone pole, were branches of an ailanthus (?) tree, its leafs golden-green from the light of the unseen sun. Below and through the glowing canopy I could see the corner or a pink-bricked building and a square of deep blue sky. Behind me, I knew, perhaps, because I had seen it before, was another redbrick building with a yellow-canopied honeylocust tree in front of it.
It was now like I was flying, sideways, down the street, so that I flew from my right to my left. I saw building fronts like in a small town's main street, glowing in the golden sun.
I could still hear MD speaking. He now said something like, "You should see how DO does it with girls." He then continued with some story of a girl DO seduced (DO, happily married, would NOT have done something like that in waking life) while out on a business trip.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
(1/12/08) lesbian doll sex; seduced by old friends; steamhippie
(Entered in paper journal at 8:45 AM at Flying Saucer cafe in Brooklyn.)
Dream #1
I was in a helicopter or watching a man in a helicopter. He was talking about how he was flying a plane. The helicopter was very small, maybe the size of a VW Beetle. When the man got to a certain height he said he would now make his descent.
I now saw from the man's point of view. I had wondered how something was filming (or taping) him from the air. Now I "saw" (where?) a jet of some sort, which I assumed was the vehicle on which the camera was positioned.
I now saw as if I were piloting the helicopter. I was descending much more quickly than I thought a helicopter should descend. I descended over a green field which seemed also to have some construction activity on it. I knew I was going to crash. The helicopter crashed.
I stood before a bus bench on a gritty city sidewalk. The helicopter was crashed, lodged between the bench and a small tree. The helicopter was like an oversize toy, maybe a couple feet wide and a few feet long. Its blades were stubby. They were still spinning around, stutteringly. The helicopter, which had been white, was now charcoaled over with smoke and burns.
My family stood behind me, talking. It was my grandfather, my mother, my great grandmother, and a couple other people. I knelt before a reddish-pink, velvety armchair that stood out on the sidewalk.
There were two dolls. They were crudely made, like third-rate Barbie dolls with almost Raggedy-Ann type heads.They had no clothes on. The doll on the left had no limbs.
I wanted to imagine the dolls as lesbians. I wanted to see them having a lesbian relationship. Bu I didn't want to move them with my own hands -- it seemed like that would make them "not really lesbians."
But then I noticed that the doll with limbs was geared. It could make simple movements if switched on or wound up. I may possibly have wound the doll up by spinning a white, toothed wheel which stuck out of its back, saw-wheel-style. It now rolled its head right and forward, as well as possibly shifting its whole body onto its right side and then back onto its back.
I sat the limbed doll right next to the limbless doll and propped the limbless doll on its left side. In this way, it looked like the limbed doll was purposely kissing the limbless doll and then moving its body up against the limbless doll's body. I was turned on by this.
My family was all heading into a building just off from the sidewalk. They got my attention so I could leave, too. My nephews were there, too. I realized these toys might have belonged to one of my nephews. I felt bad for having played such an obscene game with the toys.
As my grandfather walked past me he saw the toys in their movement. He suspected I had made the toys make these movements, but he wasn't sure. He looked at me with a slight disgust. I felt even worse than I had before. I tried to think how I could cover my act.
I walked toward the doorway. It was like a doorless entry, very small, like for a bedroom doorway. It was set in a kind of rundown building. The inside was, by my view from the outside, very dark. I could hardly see my family members once they entered.
Dream #2
I was in a large, dim bedroom with my old friend R and his fiancee L. We might have finished watching a movie on TV. I lay on one bed and R and L lay on another.
We were now getting ready for bed. I felt very tired and grainy-eyed. R got out of bed to turn something (the TV?) off at the other end of the room.
L sat up, kneeling in a way so her knees faced me. She wore a red, shimmery camisole or dress that looked too dressy for being pajamas. She had it pulled up enough on her legs so I could see the crotch of her panties, which were lavender and satiny. She looked at me to let me know she had let me see her panties on purpose.
When that didn't turn me on enough to make me go for her, L lay stomach-down on the bed, facing away from me and toward R. She pulled her "dress" up so that her whole bottom was exposed to me.
I knew L was trying to seduce me, and I was turned on. But I didn't really want to be with L. I also knew that if I was with L, I'd have to be with R, too. I didn't want that.
It was now like we all lay on the same bed. This is the way it had to be when I spent the night. The lights were probably all off. I lay on the left side of the bed, my head to the head of the bed. R and L lay with their heads to the foot of the bed, to my right. R lay next to me, and L to R.
I could tell that R was trying to seduce me. R thought that if I lay in the same bed as he, he still had a chance at seducing me. But I did my best to stay laying opposite R and L and to avoid touching them as much as possible.
Now I lay with my body entirely against the headboard. Something seemed very strange about the bed. It was like R and L were coiled around each other in an elliptical hollow on the bottom half of the bed. (The image in my head now reminds me texturally of the "Thou affrightest me with dreams" drawing in Blake's Job series.)
Dream #3
I sat near a booth-like shop on a small chunk of sidewalk (like Astor Place) in a downtown-like area. It was a sunny, but possibly cold, day. I sat on a bunch of blankets. I may possibly also have been covered in blankets. I was very bleary-eyed.
The shop-booth, to my right, was hung with random (motley) fabrics, which gave it a rundown, but very warm, look. There might have been steam coming from outside the shop, which made sitting outside it very pleasant in the cold weather.
I was, or was suspected of being, either a crackhead bum or an undercover cop posing as a crackhead bum. I may alternately have been myself and a young, black man. To my left, in the sunny street, was a big van, which might have been a police van. I tried not to appear to be associated with the van. I looked back behind my head. There was a tall building of green, reflective glass.
At first there was some shady activity going on between two black people in front of the motley shop. I tried not to pay attention to it. Now a black man, kind of strange-looking, like a hippie wearing a biker jacket, was asking something to the people in the shop, who were Chinese. The man produced a camera from his pocket. I understood the man just wanted someone to take a photo of him in front of this shop.
The man turned first to hand his camera to an Asian man or woman, who sat, like me, in front of the shop, covered in blankets. The Asian person was fattish, slightly worn out, with thickly scraggly hair. He/she wore a black biker jacket. But he/she could hardly hold the camera, let alone snap a photo: his/her fingernails were long and curled so that his/her hands were pretty much useless.
The man handed the camera to someone else, maybe to me. The person took a digital photo of the man bending over some kind of product, behind strips of curtain-fabric hung with globes. Steam might have been coming up around his face. The man wore a bandanna which I thought was mystical. He posed as if he were smelling and enjoying the steam.
The picture had been taken. I saw the image on the camera-back's screen. Seeing the photos, and how the man obviously took this experience to be so mystical and important, I really liked the man. I didn't want to get too close to the man, still, because I was pretty sure if I showed too much of my personality. I maintained a servile attitude toward the man.
I now saw one of my nephews, possibly my oldest nephew, but maybe from when he was five years old. He sat on the blanket by me. I thought, I need to act stronger in front of my nephew. I need to make him feel secure. So I did my best to act as cheerful and confident as possible.
Dream #1
I was in a helicopter or watching a man in a helicopter. He was talking about how he was flying a plane. The helicopter was very small, maybe the size of a VW Beetle. When the man got to a certain height he said he would now make his descent.
I now saw from the man's point of view. I had wondered how something was filming (or taping) him from the air. Now I "saw" (where?) a jet of some sort, which I assumed was the vehicle on which the camera was positioned.
I now saw as if I were piloting the helicopter. I was descending much more quickly than I thought a helicopter should descend. I descended over a green field which seemed also to have some construction activity on it. I knew I was going to crash. The helicopter crashed.
I stood before a bus bench on a gritty city sidewalk. The helicopter was crashed, lodged between the bench and a small tree. The helicopter was like an oversize toy, maybe a couple feet wide and a few feet long. Its blades were stubby. They were still spinning around, stutteringly. The helicopter, which had been white, was now charcoaled over with smoke and burns.
My family stood behind me, talking. It was my grandfather, my mother, my great grandmother, and a couple other people. I knelt before a reddish-pink, velvety armchair that stood out on the sidewalk.
There were two dolls. They were crudely made, like third-rate Barbie dolls with almost Raggedy-Ann type heads.They had no clothes on. The doll on the left had no limbs.
I wanted to imagine the dolls as lesbians. I wanted to see them having a lesbian relationship. Bu I didn't want to move them with my own hands -- it seemed like that would make them "not really lesbians."
But then I noticed that the doll with limbs was geared. It could make simple movements if switched on or wound up. I may possibly have wound the doll up by spinning a white, toothed wheel which stuck out of its back, saw-wheel-style. It now rolled its head right and forward, as well as possibly shifting its whole body onto its right side and then back onto its back.
I sat the limbed doll right next to the limbless doll and propped the limbless doll on its left side. In this way, it looked like the limbed doll was purposely kissing the limbless doll and then moving its body up against the limbless doll's body. I was turned on by this.
My family was all heading into a building just off from the sidewalk. They got my attention so I could leave, too. My nephews were there, too. I realized these toys might have belonged to one of my nephews. I felt bad for having played such an obscene game with the toys.
As my grandfather walked past me he saw the toys in their movement. He suspected I had made the toys make these movements, but he wasn't sure. He looked at me with a slight disgust. I felt even worse than I had before. I tried to think how I could cover my act.
I walked toward the doorway. It was like a doorless entry, very small, like for a bedroom doorway. It was set in a kind of rundown building. The inside was, by my view from the outside, very dark. I could hardly see my family members once they entered.
Dream #2
I was in a large, dim bedroom with my old friend R and his fiancee L. We might have finished watching a movie on TV. I lay on one bed and R and L lay on another.
We were now getting ready for bed. I felt very tired and grainy-eyed. R got out of bed to turn something (the TV?) off at the other end of the room.
L sat up, kneeling in a way so her knees faced me. She wore a red, shimmery camisole or dress that looked too dressy for being pajamas. She had it pulled up enough on her legs so I could see the crotch of her panties, which were lavender and satiny. She looked at me to let me know she had let me see her panties on purpose.
When that didn't turn me on enough to make me go for her, L lay stomach-down on the bed, facing away from me and toward R. She pulled her "dress" up so that her whole bottom was exposed to me.
I knew L was trying to seduce me, and I was turned on. But I didn't really want to be with L. I also knew that if I was with L, I'd have to be with R, too. I didn't want that.
It was now like we all lay on the same bed. This is the way it had to be when I spent the night. The lights were probably all off. I lay on the left side of the bed, my head to the head of the bed. R and L lay with their heads to the foot of the bed, to my right. R lay next to me, and L to R.
I could tell that R was trying to seduce me. R thought that if I lay in the same bed as he, he still had a chance at seducing me. But I did my best to stay laying opposite R and L and to avoid touching them as much as possible.
Now I lay with my body entirely against the headboard. Something seemed very strange about the bed. It was like R and L were coiled around each other in an elliptical hollow on the bottom half of the bed. (The image in my head now reminds me texturally of the "Thou affrightest me with dreams" drawing in Blake's Job series.)
Dream #3
I sat near a booth-like shop on a small chunk of sidewalk (like Astor Place) in a downtown-like area. It was a sunny, but possibly cold, day. I sat on a bunch of blankets. I may possibly also have been covered in blankets. I was very bleary-eyed.
The shop-booth, to my right, was hung with random (motley) fabrics, which gave it a rundown, but very warm, look. There might have been steam coming from outside the shop, which made sitting outside it very pleasant in the cold weather.
I was, or was suspected of being, either a crackhead bum or an undercover cop posing as a crackhead bum. I may alternately have been myself and a young, black man. To my left, in the sunny street, was a big van, which might have been a police van. I tried not to appear to be associated with the van. I looked back behind my head. There was a tall building of green, reflective glass.
At first there was some shady activity going on between two black people in front of the motley shop. I tried not to pay attention to it. Now a black man, kind of strange-looking, like a hippie wearing a biker jacket, was asking something to the people in the shop, who were Chinese. The man produced a camera from his pocket. I understood the man just wanted someone to take a photo of him in front of this shop.
The man turned first to hand his camera to an Asian man or woman, who sat, like me, in front of the shop, covered in blankets. The Asian person was fattish, slightly worn out, with thickly scraggly hair. He/she wore a black biker jacket. But he/she could hardly hold the camera, let alone snap a photo: his/her fingernails were long and curled so that his/her hands were pretty much useless.
The man handed the camera to someone else, maybe to me. The person took a digital photo of the man bending over some kind of product, behind strips of curtain-fabric hung with globes. Steam might have been coming up around his face. The man wore a bandanna which I thought was mystical. He posed as if he were smelling and enjoying the steam.
The picture had been taken. I saw the image on the camera-back's screen. Seeing the photos, and how the man obviously took this experience to be so mystical and important, I really liked the man. I didn't want to get too close to the man, still, because I was pretty sure if I showed too much of my personality. I maintained a servile attitude toward the man.
I now saw one of my nephews, possibly my oldest nephew, but maybe from when he was five years old. He sat on the blanket by me. I thought, I need to act stronger in front of my nephew. I need to make him feel secure. So I did my best to act as cheerful and confident as possible.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
(1/4/10) proving i like girls
(Entered in paper journal at 6:30 AM on B-train into work from Brooklyn.)
Dream #1
I was in a somewhat empty house with a young woman. The house had barely any furniture. There were some sheets and, possibly, piles of clothes lying around. There was some kind of entertainment center with either a CD player or a TV and video player.
The woman was in a bedroom. First, she was wearing only a little tank top and a pair of red-maroon, v-bottomed panties. Then she wore only a shirt, with her legs bare. I saw her from the doorway. My view of her was blocked from time to time by a billowing sheet. The woman's bottom was broad and nicely shaped.
We were now both in the living room. There were no lights on, and it was dark. The woman asked me, "Do you like girls?" Then she left the house. I realized now that the woman had been trying to seduce me. I hadn't acted on my arousal because I'd wanted to be polite.
I was watching something on the TV, which also seemed to be sloppily draped in sheets. Now I realized that the girl was back. She was lying in a four-post bed, which seemed to be in a state of half-repair. The mattress was loosely strewn with sheets.
The woman, while asleep, rolled over in bed, revealing her bottom from under the sheets. I thought I would get into the bed and start spooning with her, as, it now seemed to me, this is what she had wanted me to do with her before.
Dream #1
I was in a somewhat empty house with a young woman. The house had barely any furniture. There were some sheets and, possibly, piles of clothes lying around. There was some kind of entertainment center with either a CD player or a TV and video player.
The woman was in a bedroom. First, she was wearing only a little tank top and a pair of red-maroon, v-bottomed panties. Then she wore only a shirt, with her legs bare. I saw her from the doorway. My view of her was blocked from time to time by a billowing sheet. The woman's bottom was broad and nicely shaped.
We were now both in the living room. There were no lights on, and it was dark. The woman asked me, "Do you like girls?" Then she left the house. I realized now that the woman had been trying to seduce me. I hadn't acted on my arousal because I'd wanted to be polite.
I was watching something on the TV, which also seemed to be sloppily draped in sheets. Now I realized that the girl was back. She was lying in a four-post bed, which seemed to be in a state of half-repair. The mattress was loosely strewn with sheets.
The woman, while asleep, rolled over in bed, revealing her bottom from under the sheets. I thought I would get into the bed and start spooning with her, as, it now seemed to me, this is what she had wanted me to do with her before.
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