(Entered in paper journal at 6:05 AM on Q-train from Brooklyn into Manhattan.)
Dream #1
I was in a house in my hometown of Denver. I'd either bought or rented this house and had gotten a very good deal on it. My boss BS was there. BS was wearing a plainish business suit. He was talking about what a good deal this place was and that, now that I had gotten it, I could come to Denver whenever I wanted.
I was now in a weird position on the couch, like I was in the middle of a single-handed push-up, but my whole body was parallel with the ground. I thought something like, Doesn't BS see how tough I am?
BS said, "You could stay at the XXXXX (some fancy hotel)." As BS said this, I was filing through a tall chest of drawers, which may have been empty. I didn't realize until now that BS was actually on a business trip in Denver and that he was upset with me for not having invited him to stay in this place instead of going to a hotel. Now he wanted me to stay in his hotel instead of this place.
I was now probably in the house all by myself. The house was dark or dim. The curtains were pulled over the windows. I may have had a flashlight with me.
I saw two books (one wide picture book with a black dust jacket with a colorful photo of a mandala, and a smaller book leaning on top of that book?) on a table before the window. I walked to a stairway that went up into darkness. I had a feeling that upstairs were rooms (in particular, a bathroom?) that were in awful shape.
Dream #3
I was laying in bed in the dark. My girlfriend H stood near the foot of the bed. She may have been wearing only a t-shirt. I said, "Don't you want to lay down with me?" She said she did and she jumped into bed beside me.
Showing posts with label apartment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label apartment. Show all posts
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Saturday, January 12, 2013
(8/16/08) seeing old co-workers; yelling at walls
(Entered in paper journal at 8:28 AM at Flying Saucer cafe in Brooklyn.)
Dream #1
I was in a big area like the second floor of a big warehouse building (or possibly like a big building in TriBeCa that had been converted into an artist's studio). It was like an event or presentation had just ended. Everybody was just milling around, talking with each other.
I saw someone who had worked at a company I had done temporary work for (and which later on became the company I was currently working for, at the time I entered this dream into my paper journal). I shook the man's hand and said hi.
Another man, a big man in a pea-colored polo shirt, walked up behind me and seemed to be annoyed with me, as if I were planning to do something annoying to him. But I recognized him, too -- also from the time I'd done temporary work. I tried to say something to calm the man's apprehension. But all I could say was the address where the three of us had worked.
Now I knew the man's name: BV. But I might have called him by the wrong name, a Russian name, because I thought he looked Russian. But now BV recognized me, too, and said, "Yeah, yeah, how are you doing." He smiled a little, more as if to say, "You can't be that surprised at our meeting, can you?"
Dream #2
It was daytime. I stood in my bedroom. People in the apartment next door and in the apartment above me started making a lot of noise. I got mad and started making lewd hand gestures toward and yelling obscenities at the wall and ceiling.
Dream #1
I was in a big area like the second floor of a big warehouse building (or possibly like a big building in TriBeCa that had been converted into an artist's studio). It was like an event or presentation had just ended. Everybody was just milling around, talking with each other.
I saw someone who had worked at a company I had done temporary work for (and which later on became the company I was currently working for, at the time I entered this dream into my paper journal). I shook the man's hand and said hi.
Another man, a big man in a pea-colored polo shirt, walked up behind me and seemed to be annoyed with me, as if I were planning to do something annoying to him. But I recognized him, too -- also from the time I'd done temporary work. I tried to say something to calm the man's apprehension. But all I could say was the address where the three of us had worked.
Now I knew the man's name: BV. But I might have called him by the wrong name, a Russian name, because I thought he looked Russian. But now BV recognized me, too, and said, "Yeah, yeah, how are you doing." He smiled a little, more as if to say, "You can't be that surprised at our meeting, can you?"
Dream #2
It was daytime. I stood in my bedroom. People in the apartment next door and in the apartment above me started making a lot of noise. I got mad and started making lewd hand gestures toward and yelling obscenities at the wall and ceiling.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
(9/25/08) crapping in unused bedroom
(Entered in paper journal at 6:15 AM on Q-train from Brooklyn to Manhattan.)
Dream #1
I was in my house. I went into my second room, the room I never use.
(In waking life, due to constant noise from my upstairs neighbors, which seemed to follow me from apartment to apartment, regardless of where I lived, since about early 2004, I had sought out a one-bedroom apartment. My plan was not to use one of the rooms -- it would serve as a buffer. The plan didn't help me much -- my upstairs neighbors in the place I lived in from January of 2007 through January of 2012 were always brutally loud.)
It was daytime, and greyish light filled the room. I was shocked by how little I knew this room. I felt ripped off in some way by the fact that I never used the room. I didn't even know it, I thought to myself. I proved how little I knew this room by looking at an enormous closet, which was on the right wall, just in from the door. I hadn't even known this closet existed.
The closet was completely empty. There were a few big shelves in the closet. They looked sprinkled over either with dust or with roach castings. I couldn't believe that dustiness or dirtiness was even beginning to encroach on a space I had never used.
There was a toilet facing out to the front window. I sat down on it. I defecated. My feces was really watery, and I felt like I was releasing little, white triangles of paper as I defecated. I may have felt bad when I thought of flushing the toilet, thinking that something bad might happen since the toilet hadn't been used in so long.
Dream #1
I was in my house. I went into my second room, the room I never use.
(In waking life, due to constant noise from my upstairs neighbors, which seemed to follow me from apartment to apartment, regardless of where I lived, since about early 2004, I had sought out a one-bedroom apartment. My plan was not to use one of the rooms -- it would serve as a buffer. The plan didn't help me much -- my upstairs neighbors in the place I lived in from January of 2007 through January of 2012 were always brutally loud.)
It was daytime, and greyish light filled the room. I was shocked by how little I knew this room. I felt ripped off in some way by the fact that I never used the room. I didn't even know it, I thought to myself. I proved how little I knew this room by looking at an enormous closet, which was on the right wall, just in from the door. I hadn't even known this closet existed.
The closet was completely empty. There were a few big shelves in the closet. They looked sprinkled over either with dust or with roach castings. I couldn't believe that dustiness or dirtiness was even beginning to encroach on a space I had never used.
There was a toilet facing out to the front window. I sat down on it. I defecated. My feces was really watery, and I felt like I was releasing little, white triangles of paper as I defecated. I may have felt bad when I thought of flushing the toilet, thinking that something bad might happen since the toilet hadn't been used in so long.
(10/4/08) zero-bedroom
(Entered in paper journal at 9:30 AM at Connecticut Muffin in Windsor Terrace, Brooklyn.)
Dream #1
I was in "my apartment," which was enormous. It was a one bedroom, I told myself. But it had two gigantic rooms next to one another, and possibly two smaller rooms beside (or in front of) those two rooms. There might also have been another upstairs level. The two rooms were completely empty. It was daytime, and a dim light came in through all the windows.
I walked to my "one bedroom," which was at the end of one of the large rooms. This was a very small room with a bed and some clutter in it. As I stood in this room, I wondered how I could possibly have anybody else stay here, given how cluttered the place already was. And plus, I thought, this place is a one-bedroom. If somebody else comes here, it will be a zero-bedroom.
Dream #1
I was in "my apartment," which was enormous. It was a one bedroom, I told myself. But it had two gigantic rooms next to one another, and possibly two smaller rooms beside (or in front of) those two rooms. There might also have been another upstairs level. The two rooms were completely empty. It was daytime, and a dim light came in through all the windows.
I walked to my "one bedroom," which was at the end of one of the large rooms. This was a very small room with a bed and some clutter in it. As I stood in this room, I wondered how I could possibly have anybody else stay here, given how cluttered the place already was. And plus, I thought, this place is a one-bedroom. If somebody else comes here, it will be a zero-bedroom.
(10/19/08) the cat in the trap; is my girlfriend a man?
(Entered in paper journal at 4:20 PM at home in Brooklyn.)
Dream #1
I was in an apartment, probably not mine. It was night, and all the windows were uncurtained, exposed to the black sky. The apartment may have had two rooms, though it felt somehow cluttered and cramped, like an overstuffed studio. The light inside was dim, yet warm and soft.I was with a couple other people. My old friend H was either in the room or else we were possibly waiting for him to arrive.
I now noticed that in the room down from me, a window along the shared wall (to my left) was actually open. An animal like a squirrel scurried in. I and a woman (?) ran to the room to try to chase the animal out. The animal had become like a small mouse. It was running toward a corner of the room, to my right. As it did it became larger, like a cat, and began moving slowly, almost leisurely.
I had been happy that the animal was running toward the corner of the room, where I knew there was a mouse trap. But now that I saw the animal was a cat, we tried to hurry and get the animal away from the corner so it wouldn't step in the trap.
But we were too late. The cat stepped in the trap. The cat made a nose like a sucking-in sigh combined with a hiss. It turned toward us and walked toward us with a sorrowful, tortured look on its face. I noticed how the cat's tail looked like a different animal's tail -- maybe like the tail of a ringtail or a raccoon. And the face of the animal now looked like that of a bobcat or lynx.
I knew I'd have to take the trap off the animal's foot (its front right foot?). I hoped the animal wouldn't feel more pain as I removed the trap. I didn't want the animal, in greater pain, to react violently toward me. I resolved to be as quick, and, yet, as gentle, as I could.
The trap was now off the animal's foot. The animal now walked toward the window by which it had entered. It hoped the animal would like us now and want to stay with us, since we had done such a nice thing for it. But, although it seemed to bear us no ill will, it now seemed almost indifferent to us. It walked out the window.
Dream #2
I was in a cluttered but very warm-feeling bedroom with my girlfriend H. The walls of the room may have been of dark wood. H and I were on the bed. The bed may have had richly colored, pink sheets. The bed was also probably cluttered with other things.
H and I had worked out way into a strange sexual position. H was almost standing on her head. I was over her, almost floating over her, apparently perpendicular to her, but almost upside-down myself. I had an enormous penis, which I was slowly lowering into H. I had no other point of contact with H, the bed, or anything.
As I slowly lowered into H, she asked me if I loved her. I said yes. But she continued to ask me. As she did, it seemed to me (not that I could necessarily see) that her face was tightening up, becoming smaller, almost like some weird, shrunken version of a man's face. I wondered if H was actually a man.
Dream #1
I was in an apartment, probably not mine. It was night, and all the windows were uncurtained, exposed to the black sky. The apartment may have had two rooms, though it felt somehow cluttered and cramped, like an overstuffed studio. The light inside was dim, yet warm and soft.I was with a couple other people. My old friend H was either in the room or else we were possibly waiting for him to arrive.
I now noticed that in the room down from me, a window along the shared wall (to my left) was actually open. An animal like a squirrel scurried in. I and a woman (?) ran to the room to try to chase the animal out. The animal had become like a small mouse. It was running toward a corner of the room, to my right. As it did it became larger, like a cat, and began moving slowly, almost leisurely.
I had been happy that the animal was running toward the corner of the room, where I knew there was a mouse trap. But now that I saw the animal was a cat, we tried to hurry and get the animal away from the corner so it wouldn't step in the trap.
But we were too late. The cat stepped in the trap. The cat made a nose like a sucking-in sigh combined with a hiss. It turned toward us and walked toward us with a sorrowful, tortured look on its face. I noticed how the cat's tail looked like a different animal's tail -- maybe like the tail of a ringtail or a raccoon. And the face of the animal now looked like that of a bobcat or lynx.
I knew I'd have to take the trap off the animal's foot (its front right foot?). I hoped the animal wouldn't feel more pain as I removed the trap. I didn't want the animal, in greater pain, to react violently toward me. I resolved to be as quick, and, yet, as gentle, as I could.
The trap was now off the animal's foot. The animal now walked toward the window by which it had entered. It hoped the animal would like us now and want to stay with us, since we had done such a nice thing for it. But, although it seemed to bear us no ill will, it now seemed almost indifferent to us. It walked out the window.
Dream #2
I was in a cluttered but very warm-feeling bedroom with my girlfriend H. The walls of the room may have been of dark wood. H and I were on the bed. The bed may have had richly colored, pink sheets. The bed was also probably cluttered with other things.
H and I had worked out way into a strange sexual position. H was almost standing on her head. I was over her, almost floating over her, apparently perpendicular to her, but almost upside-down myself. I had an enormous penis, which I was slowly lowering into H. I had no other point of contact with H, the bed, or anything.
As I slowly lowered into H, she asked me if I loved her. I said yes. But she continued to ask me. As she did, it seemed to me (not that I could necessarily see) that her face was tightening up, becoming smaller, almost like some weird, shrunken version of a man's face. I wondered if H was actually a man.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
(11/25/08) bring out your zombies
Dream #1
I was out in a city area with my mother. It was daytime, or mid-morning, warm and humid. The area was like a series of blocks of red-brick apartments that were maybe five or six stories tall. But the streets were all like wide alleys, like we were walking through a neighborhood of buildings' back ends.
My mom was shouting up at the higher apartments, or at apartments in general, asking if they had seen any mummified bodies or corpses in general, either in their own apartments or in the basements of the apartment buildings. My mom's shout was itself uncanny and frightening. I was afraid of her shouting in general. But I was also afraid that her shouting out this specific question would end up stirring up something bad.
I "had just come" out of a basement where there were a lot of the corpses which my mother was now describing. As I had been in the basement, the corpses had (possibly) risen, possibly even expressly to attack me.
I knew now that whoever was in control of these entities (the controllers may even have been living people) knew what I had done and would now come after me. I knew that my mom's shouts would give away my location or lead me into a trap, and that if my mom actually dealt with anybody regarding these entities, we would be good as dead. Nevertheless, my mom went into one of these buildings.
I walked along by myself. There were occasionally people on the streets or peering out from windows or from basement entrances to apartments. The people were pale and white and thin. They looked half like villagers in the Middle Ages and half like demonic, insane people. The whole place had a dirty, scary feel to it.
I imagined the entity my mother was dealing with -- a bald, mottled-skinned, pale white man, a little overweight, blank-eyed, scarred as if by fire, wrapped in fabric of not good quality that was painted with quasi-Egyptian designs.
I now met up with my mom again. I had turned right, into a smaller alley. My mom was coming out of a dark basement entrance, in the doorway of which a few people stood, possibly washing their clothes in buckets.
I now lay by myself in an apartment. The light in the apartment was deep grey-blue, as if it were very early morning. The apartment itself was very clean and empty. I stood out of the bed I lay in and walked out into the living room. The floor was clean, grey carpet. The apartment was either at or slightly below ground level.
As I walked along I was thinking of my relationships with women. I particularly wondered why I was interested in one specific woman. This woman seemed older, fat, and dumpy. I thought I couldn't possibly be in love with her, but I felt like I was.
I got afraid of people looking into my apartment. I suddenly had a feeling there were people waiting to attack me. They hadn't been able to locate me, but if I made myself visible through a window they'd be able to find me.
I rushed into a closet. I was carrying my blanket and pillow. I lay on two triangular structures that were built into opposite corners of the closet. The closet itself may have had a strange, trapezoidal shape. I may also have "laid" by balancing on my head.
I got up and walked back into the bedroom, or possibly into a second bedroom.
I was out in a city area with my mother. It was daytime, or mid-morning, warm and humid. The area was like a series of blocks of red-brick apartments that were maybe five or six stories tall. But the streets were all like wide alleys, like we were walking through a neighborhood of buildings' back ends.
My mom was shouting up at the higher apartments, or at apartments in general, asking if they had seen any mummified bodies or corpses in general, either in their own apartments or in the basements of the apartment buildings. My mom's shout was itself uncanny and frightening. I was afraid of her shouting in general. But I was also afraid that her shouting out this specific question would end up stirring up something bad.
I "had just come" out of a basement where there were a lot of the corpses which my mother was now describing. As I had been in the basement, the corpses had (possibly) risen, possibly even expressly to attack me.
I knew now that whoever was in control of these entities (the controllers may even have been living people) knew what I had done and would now come after me. I knew that my mom's shouts would give away my location or lead me into a trap, and that if my mom actually dealt with anybody regarding these entities, we would be good as dead. Nevertheless, my mom went into one of these buildings.
I walked along by myself. There were occasionally people on the streets or peering out from windows or from basement entrances to apartments. The people were pale and white and thin. They looked half like villagers in the Middle Ages and half like demonic, insane people. The whole place had a dirty, scary feel to it.
I imagined the entity my mother was dealing with -- a bald, mottled-skinned, pale white man, a little overweight, blank-eyed, scarred as if by fire, wrapped in fabric of not good quality that was painted with quasi-Egyptian designs.
I now met up with my mom again. I had turned right, into a smaller alley. My mom was coming out of a dark basement entrance, in the doorway of which a few people stood, possibly washing their clothes in buckets.
I now lay by myself in an apartment. The light in the apartment was deep grey-blue, as if it were very early morning. The apartment itself was very clean and empty. I stood out of the bed I lay in and walked out into the living room. The floor was clean, grey carpet. The apartment was either at or slightly below ground level.
As I walked along I was thinking of my relationships with women. I particularly wondered why I was interested in one specific woman. This woman seemed older, fat, and dumpy. I thought I couldn't possibly be in love with her, but I felt like I was.
I got afraid of people looking into my apartment. I suddenly had a feeling there were people waiting to attack me. They hadn't been able to locate me, but if I made myself visible through a window they'd be able to find me.
I rushed into a closet. I was carrying my blanket and pillow. I lay on two triangular structures that were built into opposite corners of the closet. The closet itself may have had a strange, trapezoidal shape. I may also have "laid" by balancing on my head.
I got up and walked back into the bedroom, or possibly into a second bedroom.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
(5/4/09) bathroom flood
(Entered in paper journal at 7:41 AM at Red Horse cafe in Brooklyn.)
Dream #1
It was night. I was probably in my apartment alone. But then I was in my apartment with my girlfriend H. I was in the bathroom. I was possibly sitting on the toilet at first. But then I was standing before my bathtub. The light in my bathroom was off. The shower curtain was open just a little.
I saw a couple little, black shapes darting around in the bathtub. I thought they were roaches. I was upset that I possibly had roaches in my house. But I wasn't sure what I had seen. So I pulled back the shower curtain.
There were little, black shapes darting around in the bathtub, some apparently two inches long, others of smaller size, down to tiny specks. These shapes didn't seem like roaches at all, now. They were formless, little blots. I thought they were products of my own sight, physical perturbations on my own eyes.
But I thought that, regardless of what the visions were, I had let my bathroom get too dirty. I thought that if I didn't clean my bathroom, real roaches eventually would show up. So I started sweeping my bathroom floor. As I cleaned, I could hear H talk about how she couldn't study unless her house was clean.
Some of the dust seemed caked on the floor or sticky. There was now sudsy water washing up and down the floor, around the toilet. It started sloshing back and forth so violently that I had to back out of the bathroom.
It seemed to be lightning and thundering outside. There didn't seem to be any lights on in the house. The water sloshed back and forth through about half the length of the bathroom.
H may have said something, worrying about the water staying or attracting more roaches. I said, "Don't worry. We just have to wait for it to drain away."
I could now see a drain-grate. Water was sucking down into that grate, leaving milky foam behind. The water made a foamy, violently gurgling sound as it went down the grate. I felt ashamed that this mess was keeping H from studying, or that it might keep her from studying if she were to stay at my place.
Dream #1
It was night. I was probably in my apartment alone. But then I was in my apartment with my girlfriend H. I was in the bathroom. I was possibly sitting on the toilet at first. But then I was standing before my bathtub. The light in my bathroom was off. The shower curtain was open just a little.
I saw a couple little, black shapes darting around in the bathtub. I thought they were roaches. I was upset that I possibly had roaches in my house. But I wasn't sure what I had seen. So I pulled back the shower curtain.
There were little, black shapes darting around in the bathtub, some apparently two inches long, others of smaller size, down to tiny specks. These shapes didn't seem like roaches at all, now. They were formless, little blots. I thought they were products of my own sight, physical perturbations on my own eyes.
But I thought that, regardless of what the visions were, I had let my bathroom get too dirty. I thought that if I didn't clean my bathroom, real roaches eventually would show up. So I started sweeping my bathroom floor. As I cleaned, I could hear H talk about how she couldn't study unless her house was clean.
Some of the dust seemed caked on the floor or sticky. There was now sudsy water washing up and down the floor, around the toilet. It started sloshing back and forth so violently that I had to back out of the bathroom.
It seemed to be lightning and thundering outside. There didn't seem to be any lights on in the house. The water sloshed back and forth through about half the length of the bathroom.
H may have said something, worrying about the water staying or attracting more roaches. I said, "Don't worry. We just have to wait for it to drain away."
I could now see a drain-grate. Water was sucking down into that grate, leaving milky foam behind. The water made a foamy, violently gurgling sound as it went down the grate. I felt ashamed that this mess was keeping H from studying, or that it might keep her from studying if she were to stay at my place.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
(5/10/09) wishing for hidden rooms
Dream #1
I was in an empty apartment. The apartment was railroad-style, with four rooms. It was filled with natural light. The walls were a clean white. It was my new apartment.
For some reason, although I was happy with the place and all the rooms, I was trying to find different rooms or find a way to change the rooms. I wanted both my bedroom and my study room to be hidden within the other rooms, so nobody else could ever see my studying or sleeping in my house. I figured if I kept those two activities hidden from sight, the people in the apartment upstairs from me would never bother me.
I imagined that the back room and either the front room or the second room from the front each had a room like a closet, completely windowless, with a door which would close off from the outside room. (Interestingly, either there wasn't a kitchen or a bathroom or else I wasn't paying attention to them.) I figured one room (the back?) would be my bedroom, while the other (the front?) would be my study room.
I was in an empty apartment. The apartment was railroad-style, with four rooms. It was filled with natural light. The walls were a clean white. It was my new apartment.
For some reason, although I was happy with the place and all the rooms, I was trying to find different rooms or find a way to change the rooms. I wanted both my bedroom and my study room to be hidden within the other rooms, so nobody else could ever see my studying or sleeping in my house. I figured if I kept those two activities hidden from sight, the people in the apartment upstairs from me would never bother me.
I imagined that the back room and either the front room or the second room from the front each had a room like a closet, completely windowless, with a door which would close off from the outside room. (Interestingly, either there wasn't a kitchen or a bathroom or else I wasn't paying attention to them.) I figured one room (the back?) would be my bedroom, while the other (the front?) would be my study room.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
(5/30/09) theater of sex torture
(Entered in paper journal at 7:09 AM on Q-train into Manhattan from Brooklyn.)
Dream #1
I was in a place like an apartment room that was being used for a performance (and also something like a coffee shop?). The area was dark except for a stage-like area near the center and front of the room. The audience sat in pit-like formations of couches throughout the room.
The performance may have been about how men torture the women they are in relationships with. There were a lot of couples who would get up and perform their torture scenes, which were something like S&M sex scenes.
I walked to the back of the room and sat on a couch in one of the pit-like arrangements that was empty. I stretched my right arm up and over a small, ledge-like structure, like the small, tile-covered ledge of a fountain (in a mall, or in some Spanish plaza?).
I looked on at the performance. A woman covered completely over with a white cloth had a large fence post tied to her back, bound to her with rope so that her arms were also tied to her sides, all covered by the white sheet. The rest of the fence may have stood behind the woman.
Now I saw my old friend Y walk down to my left. She walked into a bathroom like an apartment's bathroom, except a bit larger, and closed the door. She may have started throwing up. She said she had been tortured by her ex-husband (and my old friend) R for a long time now, and that she couldn't handle it anymore. I knew Y was going to leave R.
I didn't want anything to do with the situation, as I felt it was bad on both sides. I especially didn't want to see R ever again. So knowing that R and Y were here, I stood and started to walk out.
The place was now more like a living room and cafe mixed, with no performance taking place. It was still dim.
I was almost to the door. But R called out and said, "You afraid of staying here and facing things with me? I knew it." I got angry and walked back toward R.
The place was now like a large living room and kitchen in a studio-like apartment. There were a couple dim lights on, one in the kitchen. R sat on the floor and against a cupboard in the kitchen. I charged at him. I grabbed and twisted his head until his neck was bent in an "A" shape. R's head was still right side up. But it was pressed so that the top was pressed against the top of his right shoulder, and the side was pressed against the side of his right arm.
I held R by his head and his left side. I smashed the two sides, like I was trying to press them together. I could hear R's neck vertebrae popping. I felt bad for hurting R so bad. But I was angry. I felt I needed to prove to R that he shouldn't mess with me.
I started interrogating R about what he thought of me and why he thought he could get away with torturing Y. My plan was to kill R after the questioning. R answered the questions whiningly and had a pained look on his face.
Dream #1
I was in a place like an apartment room that was being used for a performance (and also something like a coffee shop?). The area was dark except for a stage-like area near the center and front of the room. The audience sat in pit-like formations of couches throughout the room.
The performance may have been about how men torture the women they are in relationships with. There were a lot of couples who would get up and perform their torture scenes, which were something like S&M sex scenes.
I walked to the back of the room and sat on a couch in one of the pit-like arrangements that was empty. I stretched my right arm up and over a small, ledge-like structure, like the small, tile-covered ledge of a fountain (in a mall, or in some Spanish plaza?).
I looked on at the performance. A woman covered completely over with a white cloth had a large fence post tied to her back, bound to her with rope so that her arms were also tied to her sides, all covered by the white sheet. The rest of the fence may have stood behind the woman.
Now I saw my old friend Y walk down to my left. She walked into a bathroom like an apartment's bathroom, except a bit larger, and closed the door. She may have started throwing up. She said she had been tortured by her ex-husband (and my old friend) R for a long time now, and that she couldn't handle it anymore. I knew Y was going to leave R.
I didn't want anything to do with the situation, as I felt it was bad on both sides. I especially didn't want to see R ever again. So knowing that R and Y were here, I stood and started to walk out.
The place was now more like a living room and cafe mixed, with no performance taking place. It was still dim.
I was almost to the door. But R called out and said, "You afraid of staying here and facing things with me? I knew it." I got angry and walked back toward R.
The place was now like a large living room and kitchen in a studio-like apartment. There were a couple dim lights on, one in the kitchen. R sat on the floor and against a cupboard in the kitchen. I charged at him. I grabbed and twisted his head until his neck was bent in an "A" shape. R's head was still right side up. But it was pressed so that the top was pressed against the top of his right shoulder, and the side was pressed against the side of his right arm.
I held R by his head and his left side. I smashed the two sides, like I was trying to press them together. I could hear R's neck vertebrae popping. I felt bad for hurting R so bad. But I was angry. I felt I needed to prove to R that he shouldn't mess with me.
I started interrogating R about what he thought of me and why he thought he could get away with torturing Y. My plan was to kill R after the questioning. R answered the questions whiningly and had a pained look on his face.
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