(Entered in paper journal at Starbucks on 43rd Street and 3rd Avenue. No time info given.)
Dream 1
I was in a house which may have started out as a large building like a party area or an auditorium. I think there were a fair amount of people there at first. But at some point something bad happened.
The auditorium became more like a house and then more like a huge, exaggerated version of the house my family lived in when I was in my late junior high and early high school years. The lights were all out, and something bad was in the house. The rooms were like mazes.
I felt mom's presence somewhere, "seeing" her trapped by a stage. I ran either to help her or to escape the house. I f I ran to escape, I stopped at getting outdoors, to the "carport." A bolt of electricity smashed something down to the ground. The clouds were thick and dark, and yet far enough away and dry enough to make the windy, rolling atmosphere feel like an enormous room or warehouse.
I told myself, It's too dangerous to go this way. My mom can't be helped.
I now felt a surge of courage or simple muscular energy. I ran back into the house to help my mom. I got to the stage of the auditorium (or perhaps I just "saw" it).
Another charge of electricity smashed the ceiling down in front of my mom. The house was dark and quiet, and I was somewhere else inside. I may still have been searching for my mom. But I was really unfocused.
The house was smashed. I was definitely trying to escape. The bad thing was somewhere, and I had no idea what it was like or what condition it was in, or how it was tracking or lying in wait for its prey. Pretty soon I got lost in thoughts about whether I was a coward.
Then I felt people coming in from the carport door. I ran into the living area, which was now much less exaggerated and which had nice, incandescent lighting. I leaped at the doorknob just as an Asian couple opened the door. They complained to me that I shouldn't be here and that they had reserved this place for themselves.
As they fumbled and slid past me, I tried to yell them out of the house. They had "broken the mood" and changed the house back to normal. Now, since my fears were gone, I had no more chance to vindicate myself and prove myself not to be a coward.
Dream 2
I was in a busy laundromat. I went to a dryer to pull out my clothes. I saw that I had a lot of panties in my laundry. I was ashamed to pull the clothes out of the dryer.
A couple of unknown "friend" guys stood by dryers near me. But I was really worried about my mom, who was only a short way behind me.
Someone, possibly even my mom, though it also feels like my friend ML, said, "If doing your laundry in public makes you so nervous, why don't you just do your laundry at home?"
I realized I had a washer and dryer at home. I thought, It's so easy. Why didn't I realize before that I had that option?
Showing posts with label lightning and thunder. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lightning and thunder. Show all posts
Friday, February 24, 2017
Saturday, February 16, 2013
(9/17/07) can't volunteer; data dormitory; rude waiter; conspiracy redacted; lightning love; snapped cable
(Entered in paper journal at 6:10 AM on Q-train from Brooklyn to Manhattan.)
Dream #1
I stood out on some lawn, which was bordered by a pine forest on one side and a large, brick building on the other. Somewhere a video had been playing about certain monkeys in a rain forest. The monkeys had white and black fur. The worry was that these monkeys weren't getting enough rain water in the treetops. I thought I would go work to help them in that situation.
The video may have been playing in the redbrick building, as if the building were a visitors' center for a park. The video must have ended. I called into the building, through one of the windows, for the video to be turned back on.
As the video was beginning again, my co-worker JN, in a corner area of the building, in a kitchen, yelled, "You can't do this stuff here! It's too loud!" I knew my hopes of volunteering in this project were gone.
I lay on the floor of a ratty department store. The shelves of the aisle I lay in were almost barren. The aisle itself was maybe twice as wide as usual. I stared up at the ceiling.
I felt completely hopeless. I had no volunteer work to look forward to, and I had nothing in this place, either. And it was all because nobody wanted me wherever I was! I began heaving sobs. I was then crying so hard that I had to sit up straight to keep from shaking.
Dream #2
I sat to the left of my co-worker JM as he gave a presentation among people at a (square?) table. At one point JM forgot some data. He stuttered, trying to remember it.
I whispered, "Do you need me to get the data out of your room for you?"
JM said, "Yes. Go get me a book called 'Open Fiction.'"
I was in a stairwell. I planned to jump straight down to the center of it. I jumped up and bounced off of two walls, ricocheting down into the center, which may have been no wider than my body. I may have passed some man, possibly a janitor, who looked at me as if I were going to cause some trouble.
I landed in a basement of rooms like college dormitories. The carpet was blue, with designs. I had to get to the other end of this hallway and then go up another staircase. I jumped, and in a couple of "ricochet" bounces of the walls was I was at the next staircase. The center of this well was even narrower, but I managed to jump up straight through it.
There was another hallway dormitories. The second door on the right was JM's. It was inside a corner and beside another door. The door was open and in front of it was a yellow foam bed bad. Weird instructions were written on the pad in different-colored magic marker (mostly purple). There was a little smell of urine. I knew part of the instructions spoke about JM moving. I didn't read any of the instructions. I just went in to get the book.
But now I thought that maybe all of this was a trap, that someone would find me in here and hurt me. I looked all around for books, but there were no books. There were only CDs. I now thought, Perhaps I've gone to the wrong place. Maybe JM has all his books at the new place.
Dream #3
I sat at a round table in a restaurant with my mom and my grandma P. I sat across from my mom and grandma. Behind them was a little railing and landing, and to their right was a three-step staircase leading up to the landing, which was the front of the restaurant. There might have been eight spaces set for the table.
A waiter, a white man, snobbish, though definitely a kid, saw a strip of purple cloth, like a table-runner, running under my plate and reaching down to touch the floor. The kid stuck his foot on the cloth to pull at my plate. He cleared his throat a couple times and tugged at the cloth as he did so.
The waiter walked away. I knew he'd messed with the purple cloth to make me angry. So I stood up and followed after him to confront him. But he hurried away through a busy rush of people. I sat back down.
My grandma said, "He acted the same way to us. He made some rude remark. But when we asked him what he meant he just mumbled and said, 'Well, if you'll excuse me, ladies.' He's a coward." I realized everybody on the restaurant staff was a coward.
Now some fattish, Hispanic man was trying to push me and my family out of the restaurant. He said, "We're closed. We're leaving. You need to leave, too."
My mother, grandmother, and I got up to leave. But as we got to the door, the man exited, closed the door behind him, and locked it. We were locked inside.
Dream #4
"We" (who were we?) were in a classroom that may have been a visitors' center for a national park. There was some conspiracy theory that a male teacher was trying to show us. The man was saying that this conspiracy was plainly stated in the documents, even in displays on the walls of the visitors' center.
The man led us to a display of black squares on the wall. He was going to show us the text. But when we got to it, we saw that all the text the man had told us to look for was gone. The man said, "It's been blacked out! Against the black background, it looks like it's never been there in the first place!"
The man's manager walked into the room. The man suddenly became very secretive and withdrawn. He somehow made it known to all of us that we were supposed to act like he hadn't mentioned the conspiracy at all.
Dream #5
I was walking along a suburban street. There may have been a high school field to my left. I had come up a slope. Now the street was curving to the right. The sky was grey and heavy.
Suddenly, lightning burst on the horizon before me: tremendous orange and white flashes immediately accompanied by thunder. It wasn't stopping. It just kept going.
A tall, strong, mature businessman stood to my left. I said, "Obviously the lightning is close -- the thunder comes right with it. I wonder if I can get home alright."
The man chuckled and said, "I doubt it, considering how far you have to go."
I said, "Well, then, would you mind if I stopped at your house?" I may have secretly hoped that the man would let me stop at his house, and that that would lead for an opportunity for the man to have sex with me.
Dream #6
Some show about a building that had been affected by the 9/11 attacks, but which nobody had really paid attention to. There was footage of the firefighters who had been killed in the events. Firefighters were repelling up the building by a thick, black cable.
Suddenly the cable broke. The firefighters fell four or five stories and onto a small, metal and glass structure like a foyer. Somehow the metal was electrified. The firefighters were electrocuted.
There was now another group of firefighters repelling up and using a black cable. These firefighters were up almost to the window from which the cable was linked. Through the window was the orange-yellow glare of a blazing fire. But, other than the fire in the window, the building looked fine.
The cable snapped. The firefighters fell down onto another glass and metal structure. They fell onto a pile of other firefighters' bodies. The pile of bodies was almost as tall as the glass and metal structure itself -- maybe twelve feet tall. Some of the firefighters were dead as they hit the pile. Others were still in the throes of death, and they died in a few final sharp, painful thrashes.
Dream #1
I stood out on some lawn, which was bordered by a pine forest on one side and a large, brick building on the other. Somewhere a video had been playing about certain monkeys in a rain forest. The monkeys had white and black fur. The worry was that these monkeys weren't getting enough rain water in the treetops. I thought I would go work to help them in that situation.
The video may have been playing in the redbrick building, as if the building were a visitors' center for a park. The video must have ended. I called into the building, through one of the windows, for the video to be turned back on.
As the video was beginning again, my co-worker JN, in a corner area of the building, in a kitchen, yelled, "You can't do this stuff here! It's too loud!" I knew my hopes of volunteering in this project were gone.
I lay on the floor of a ratty department store. The shelves of the aisle I lay in were almost barren. The aisle itself was maybe twice as wide as usual. I stared up at the ceiling.
I felt completely hopeless. I had no volunteer work to look forward to, and I had nothing in this place, either. And it was all because nobody wanted me wherever I was! I began heaving sobs. I was then crying so hard that I had to sit up straight to keep from shaking.
Dream #2
I sat to the left of my co-worker JM as he gave a presentation among people at a (square?) table. At one point JM forgot some data. He stuttered, trying to remember it.
I whispered, "Do you need me to get the data out of your room for you?"
JM said, "Yes. Go get me a book called 'Open Fiction.'"
I was in a stairwell. I planned to jump straight down to the center of it. I jumped up and bounced off of two walls, ricocheting down into the center, which may have been no wider than my body. I may have passed some man, possibly a janitor, who looked at me as if I were going to cause some trouble.
I landed in a basement of rooms like college dormitories. The carpet was blue, with designs. I had to get to the other end of this hallway and then go up another staircase. I jumped, and in a couple of "ricochet" bounces of the walls was I was at the next staircase. The center of this well was even narrower, but I managed to jump up straight through it.
There was another hallway dormitories. The second door on the right was JM's. It was inside a corner and beside another door. The door was open and in front of it was a yellow foam bed bad. Weird instructions were written on the pad in different-colored magic marker (mostly purple). There was a little smell of urine. I knew part of the instructions spoke about JM moving. I didn't read any of the instructions. I just went in to get the book.
But now I thought that maybe all of this was a trap, that someone would find me in here and hurt me. I looked all around for books, but there were no books. There were only CDs. I now thought, Perhaps I've gone to the wrong place. Maybe JM has all his books at the new place.
Dream #3
I sat at a round table in a restaurant with my mom and my grandma P. I sat across from my mom and grandma. Behind them was a little railing and landing, and to their right was a three-step staircase leading up to the landing, which was the front of the restaurant. There might have been eight spaces set for the table.
A waiter, a white man, snobbish, though definitely a kid, saw a strip of purple cloth, like a table-runner, running under my plate and reaching down to touch the floor. The kid stuck his foot on the cloth to pull at my plate. He cleared his throat a couple times and tugged at the cloth as he did so.
The waiter walked away. I knew he'd messed with the purple cloth to make me angry. So I stood up and followed after him to confront him. But he hurried away through a busy rush of people. I sat back down.
My grandma said, "He acted the same way to us. He made some rude remark. But when we asked him what he meant he just mumbled and said, 'Well, if you'll excuse me, ladies.' He's a coward." I realized everybody on the restaurant staff was a coward.
Now some fattish, Hispanic man was trying to push me and my family out of the restaurant. He said, "We're closed. We're leaving. You need to leave, too."
My mother, grandmother, and I got up to leave. But as we got to the door, the man exited, closed the door behind him, and locked it. We were locked inside.
Dream #4
"We" (who were we?) were in a classroom that may have been a visitors' center for a national park. There was some conspiracy theory that a male teacher was trying to show us. The man was saying that this conspiracy was plainly stated in the documents, even in displays on the walls of the visitors' center.
The man led us to a display of black squares on the wall. He was going to show us the text. But when we got to it, we saw that all the text the man had told us to look for was gone. The man said, "It's been blacked out! Against the black background, it looks like it's never been there in the first place!"
The man's manager walked into the room. The man suddenly became very secretive and withdrawn. He somehow made it known to all of us that we were supposed to act like he hadn't mentioned the conspiracy at all.
Dream #5
I was walking along a suburban street. There may have been a high school field to my left. I had come up a slope. Now the street was curving to the right. The sky was grey and heavy.
Suddenly, lightning burst on the horizon before me: tremendous orange and white flashes immediately accompanied by thunder. It wasn't stopping. It just kept going.
A tall, strong, mature businessman stood to my left. I said, "Obviously the lightning is close -- the thunder comes right with it. I wonder if I can get home alright."
The man chuckled and said, "I doubt it, considering how far you have to go."
I said, "Well, then, would you mind if I stopped at your house?" I may have secretly hoped that the man would let me stop at his house, and that that would lead for an opportunity for the man to have sex with me.
Dream #6
Some show about a building that had been affected by the 9/11 attacks, but which nobody had really paid attention to. There was footage of the firefighters who had been killed in the events. Firefighters were repelling up the building by a thick, black cable.
Suddenly the cable broke. The firefighters fell four or five stories and onto a small, metal and glass structure like a foyer. Somehow the metal was electrified. The firefighters were electrocuted.
There was now another group of firefighters repelling up and using a black cable. These firefighters were up almost to the window from which the cable was linked. Through the window was the orange-yellow glare of a blazing fire. But, other than the fire in the window, the building looked fine.
The cable snapped. The firefighters fell down onto another glass and metal structure. They fell onto a pile of other firefighters' bodies. The pile of bodies was almost as tall as the glass and metal structure itself -- maybe twelve feet tall. Some of the firefighters were dead as they hit the pile. Others were still in the throes of death, and they died in a few final sharp, painful thrashes.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
(5/4/09) bathroom flood
(Entered in paper journal at 7:41 AM at Red Horse cafe in Brooklyn.)
Dream #1
It was night. I was probably in my apartment alone. But then I was in my apartment with my girlfriend H. I was in the bathroom. I was possibly sitting on the toilet at first. But then I was standing before my bathtub. The light in my bathroom was off. The shower curtain was open just a little.
I saw a couple little, black shapes darting around in the bathtub. I thought they were roaches. I was upset that I possibly had roaches in my house. But I wasn't sure what I had seen. So I pulled back the shower curtain.
There were little, black shapes darting around in the bathtub, some apparently two inches long, others of smaller size, down to tiny specks. These shapes didn't seem like roaches at all, now. They were formless, little blots. I thought they were products of my own sight, physical perturbations on my own eyes.
But I thought that, regardless of what the visions were, I had let my bathroom get too dirty. I thought that if I didn't clean my bathroom, real roaches eventually would show up. So I started sweeping my bathroom floor. As I cleaned, I could hear H talk about how she couldn't study unless her house was clean.
Some of the dust seemed caked on the floor or sticky. There was now sudsy water washing up and down the floor, around the toilet. It started sloshing back and forth so violently that I had to back out of the bathroom.
It seemed to be lightning and thundering outside. There didn't seem to be any lights on in the house. The water sloshed back and forth through about half the length of the bathroom.
H may have said something, worrying about the water staying or attracting more roaches. I said, "Don't worry. We just have to wait for it to drain away."
I could now see a drain-grate. Water was sucking down into that grate, leaving milky foam behind. The water made a foamy, violently gurgling sound as it went down the grate. I felt ashamed that this mess was keeping H from studying, or that it might keep her from studying if she were to stay at my place.
Dream #1
It was night. I was probably in my apartment alone. But then I was in my apartment with my girlfriend H. I was in the bathroom. I was possibly sitting on the toilet at first. But then I was standing before my bathtub. The light in my bathroom was off. The shower curtain was open just a little.
I saw a couple little, black shapes darting around in the bathtub. I thought they were roaches. I was upset that I possibly had roaches in my house. But I wasn't sure what I had seen. So I pulled back the shower curtain.
There were little, black shapes darting around in the bathtub, some apparently two inches long, others of smaller size, down to tiny specks. These shapes didn't seem like roaches at all, now. They were formless, little blots. I thought they were products of my own sight, physical perturbations on my own eyes.
But I thought that, regardless of what the visions were, I had let my bathroom get too dirty. I thought that if I didn't clean my bathroom, real roaches eventually would show up. So I started sweeping my bathroom floor. As I cleaned, I could hear H talk about how she couldn't study unless her house was clean.
Some of the dust seemed caked on the floor or sticky. There was now sudsy water washing up and down the floor, around the toilet. It started sloshing back and forth so violently that I had to back out of the bathroom.
It seemed to be lightning and thundering outside. There didn't seem to be any lights on in the house. The water sloshed back and forth through about half the length of the bathroom.
H may have said something, worrying about the water staying or attracting more roaches. I said, "Don't worry. We just have to wait for it to drain away."
I could now see a drain-grate. Water was sucking down into that grate, leaving milky foam behind. The water made a foamy, violently gurgling sound as it went down the grate. I felt ashamed that this mess was keeping H from studying, or that it might keep her from studying if she were to stay at my place.
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