(10/31/07) squirrel nest; love handles

(Entered in paper journal at 5:30 AM on Q-train from Brooklyn to Manhattan.)

Dream #1

I stood in some open, public area with my friend KB and someone else, possibly KB's girlfriend. We looked up at some immense pole that stood atop some structure like a small building or ship which had the feeling of being sunk into an empty public pool. Atop the pole was a round-bottomed "net" of metal, like a domed jungle-gym turned upside-down.

KB mentioned that XXXXX (squirrels?) were making their nest in the net. She said, "It doesn't seem right. They'd fall right through the holes."

I said, "No. There must be something solid up there inside the thing that they use for support."

We had gone and gotten food. Then we climbed up the pole. We sat on some concrete platform an watched people in the public area below. We were supposedly feeding the squirrels, but we were the ones who were eating. We spoke a little more about how squirrels would make their nest.

At some point I figured I needed to leave. But I was worried whether I would be too afraid to go down the pole to get all the way down.

Dream #2

I was somewhere, doing some kind of work. My boss BS implied that I was lazy and that I didn't do a good job. I felt like BS was right. I was disappointed in myself.

I went into the bathroom. It was like I was in a cheap but modern house in the woods. The bathroom was small. It may have had dark orange walls.

As I stood urinating my head was just to the left of a small window with a frosted-style pane. The window was open just a crack, giving me an eye-level view of forest floor and some vegetation, as well as bright grey light, as if the window opened right at ground level.

Somehow I now saw myself from behind. I was a little fat. My lower back, especially around my hips, looked very wide. I also had stubble on my back, like I had shaved my back after it had gotten very hairy. I had a big ass, too. I thought, I guess my ass looks like a woman's ass. This was supposed to be a good thing.

My thoughts may now have turned to some "eighteenth-century play" in which a man spoke about a woman who had once been thin but was now fat. The man was mockingly pretending still to love the woman. The man said something about the woman's love being so ample that he needed two large handles on her back to hold onto it.