(12/16/04) brownstone out-of-body experience; r jealous of me and y; being stalked as a transvestite

(Entered in paper journal at 7:10 PM at my friend ML's house in Brooklyn.)

Dream 1

I was possibly at ML's house. I came down from the top bunk of ML's bed, possibly by floating down. I either heard or said some things and was either scrutinized for my speech or not noticed at all.

Then I was suddenly in front of a brownstone staircase. It was still night. The staircase light lit the brown steps, which stood behind a tallish (?) cast iron gate. I could only see a bit of it, though I saw it intensely, as if my vision were overexposed.

I turned around. I scared some guy in a suit. I told myself either that I was having a dream or that I was having an out-of-body experience. I told myself to calm down and focus.

Dream 2

It was daytime. I was on something like a tall building's rooftop with my friend R. We sat at a small, rectangular table that was made of wood and was covered with a white tablecloth.

R spoke to me about some bad things his ex-wife and my best friend Y had done. He kept talking about what a bad person Y was. I knew mainly he just didn't want me to talk to her anymore, out of jealousy for our friendship.

I picked up my phone and put it to my ear to call someone. But Y was already on the other end of the line. I was somewhat happy to hear from her. The conversation continued for a "few minutes," then seemed to vanish. The table switched from the right edge of the building roof to the top edge, and my position switched with R's.

I told R that I didn't call Y or even plan to call her behind his back, that she'd called me, but that I also wasn't going to just blow her off. But R still looked at me as if he wanted to kill me.

(NOTE (2017) -- Unfortunately in waking life I did neglect my relationship with my friend Y and ended up killing one of the best friendships I ever had in my life.)

Dream 3

Barely remembered. I had some letters. They were either addressed to me obliquely or not addressed to me at all. But somehow R was about to intercept them. But somehow, again, R had sent them to me.

The "letters" were all postcards that implied that R was stalking and hunting me because he was sexually attracted to me as a transvestite. The postcards showed increasingly lewd scenes of garishly costumed transvestites in a dance club with naked, muscular, attractive men.

Knowing R, I knew that he had sent these postcards to imply that these men, like R, were planning to kill transvestites, like he/they would kill me, because R/the men believed we deserved to be killed.

(10/10/06) museum & backpack; dropping my dream journal

(Entered in paper journal at 12:20 AM at home in Brooklyn.)

Dream 1

I was waiting for some kind of solar planetarium show to begin. I stood in a big lobby -- glass walls, grey day -- chocolate/maroon bricks. I saw there was a lot of time before the show. I would eat at a McDonald's and then walk through the museum.

I walked into a room that somehow resembled a huge sauna. In one corner, very far left (i.e. 10 PM on the direction clock) I saw a bearded fellow who was "Stephen King." I looked again at my cell phone watch. I had less time than I had thought. I would only eat/walk through the museum and would save walking/eating for after the show.

The lobby had been crowded before. Now it was somewhat empty. I walked up the staircase and into other parts of the building, then across a bridge to the other building. I barely saw most of it. It was darker inside -- something like a space exploration section of the Smithsonian Air & Space Museum.

Before I headed in I realized I had left my backpack with security in the first building. A security woman by the door told me not to worry -- that bags were transferred to this building once visitors switched over to it.

Dream 2

I came to a wide complex of staircases before a building. It turned into something like the seating area in an auditorium.

A lot of black people milled around, looking mischievous. I waited until some of them sat down. One guy in particular sat in a couch-like structure and sucked on a 32-ounce cola. By him was a downward staircase.

I tried to stay unseen or unnoticed. I got to the staircase and fumbled my dream journal. It fell down the steps -- where I was going anyway. So I didn't do anything odd to pick it up. but on the lower floor I kicked it along, and it accidentally fell down the next staircase as a group of mean black kids was watching. (It was much darker in this level -- a lot of cold steel.) I was going down, anyway. So I didn't worry.

Down on the lowest level, which was very dark, there were interesting undulations in the floor. At the bottom of the staircase a woman was crowding the way. I gently brushed past her but felt guilty for doing so. I saw my dream journal and tried to kick it to a point where the woman would not see me lifting it up.

(2/17/10) embracing in atrium; reproduction rejected

(Entered in paper journal at 6:10 AM, on B-train into work from Brooklyn.)

Dream #1

I was in a large, atrium-like area with grey and white tiled floors and a glass ceiling which may have shown light from a grey sky. The area may have had sculptures in i. I was about midway up a staircase which stood somewhere toward the back of the room. I lay down on the (grey stone?) steps, embracing my girlfriend H. There may have been a couple other people, friends, in the area, wandering around casually.

Dream #2

I was somewhere with my old co-worker ES. She told me that even though I had nice, very good cells, she had to make the choice not to use my cells for reproduction.