(Entered in paper journal at 5:40 AM at home in Harlem.)
Dream 1
I was in a garden behind some building where a training had just taken place for my NYC Americorps program. The building was made of cinder blocks that were painted deep blue. The garden was rough, desert-like, almost weedy looking, with tall spires of thing, glaze-fuzzy plants popping up everywhere. I was kneeling, maybe tying my shoes, below an open grate/window.
I heard my crew chief SM and my crew mate MH speaking. I knew they were going home together, but I wanted to hear them say it right out.
I walked away from the grate to the back of the garden and knelt in some rolling depression by an old wood fence. Behind the fence was a stretch of greenish, scrubby, desert-like hills. The day had been grey. Now it had also gotten a little drizzly.
I could still hear SM and MH. I stood up and then knelt back down to avoid them seeing me. Then they were gone. I stood back up again, happy to be alone.
Now I was on some road. I was with a crew of workers. A skinny-looking, black girl stood at the back of an open pickup truck and giggled shyly like she had done something bad. She knew I (?) should punish her. But she was going to try to trick me into not punishing her. I didn't talk to her. I just walked away. I had a twig of elm leafs in my hand.
Dream 2
I was in an office space which also seemed like a hotel. The space was long and narrow. At the end of the sapce was a small area of closed offices. The rest was cubicles which actually resembled lunch tables with dividing walls.
I sat at one of these tables with a bunch of papers and unmarked computer disks. I was waiting for a beautiful, blonde woman to come out of one of the closed offices and give me a rejection letter for a book I'd written. Everybody around me joked briefly about me.
The lady called me back. I now thought, Since she called me back, there's no way she'll actually reject me. I brought all the disks into the office. Half of the disks were a dull blue; the other half, a vivid blue.
The woman asked me which disk had the file she was looking for. I told her, but neither she nor I was sure I was right. She left the office to find some book or paper that would say the right disk. I divided the disks by shade, hoping this division would prove I was correct.
Dream 3
I looked at two picture frames, each with multiple snapshots. Somebody spoke while I looked at the photos. The photos were of my two oldest nephews (my only two nephews at this time in waking life), D and J.
D and J were naked in all the photos. In the second picture frame the photos depicted (J) being tripped and shoved down, possibly by D, though D was unseen. (J's) genitals were all pixelated, like they were censored for a photo or TV show. But the pixelation made it llok like the genitals were actually a morbid exaggeration of female genitals covered in feces.
My mother now said something like, "Isn't XXXXX" (D?) "a bully? He knocked XXXXX" (J?) "right over. But I guess it's cute.
Showing posts with label pixelation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pixelation. Show all posts
Sunday, March 5, 2017
Saturday, March 2, 2013
(7/15/07) gold-mining area; valley of the shadow; the yellow hummer
(Entered in paper journal at 8 AM at Starbucks on Ninth Street and Second Avenue.)
Dream #1
It was a clear day. I stood atop a hill of piled soil. A female friend was with me. We were talking with a man who may have been a boss of ours. We were in some gold-mining area. We were discussing a weird semantic issue. It made me think I needed to get rid of my idea of obtaining gold from this area.
I walked down the ridge of the hill to a certain height and then jumped the rest of the way (ten feet, I told myself) to the ground.
Dream #2
It was a sunny day. A man stood on a park lawn, possibly looking out on a river. The man may have been standing with other people, talking with them. Behind them was a man who looked like Adam Sandler, except maybe a little skinny. This man was supposed to be me. The man was autistic.
The man said, "Do you remember when you didn't let me watch the show XXXXX?" The man got more upset about it, muttering and muttering.
I saw (as if I stood in front of everybody facing away from the river and toward them) how the "Adam Sandler" man's figure was becoming dimmer and tinted with deep orange. I couldn't figure out what was happening -- if it was something with my vision or something "unreal." But I saw how the man had worked himself into such a panic that he was pulling himself out of the world completely. His figure became like a black hole from a cutout of reality.
Now that black shape pixelated, became vague, made a fluttery, electronic, popping sound, and disappeared. I saw the man standing by himself in a similar lawn. He was in a world by himself. He knew, to some degree, that he had pulled himself out of the world of interaction with others by having gotten so upset. The man spoke, as if speaking to his caretaker, trying to acquiesce in some way regarding the TV show he'd missed, as if speaking to the air in this other world would get the message through.
The man "woke up" and was standing, some time later, in the park again. He was now a skinny, tall, white boy with long, frizzy-curly hair and blue eyes. He stood facing and edging into a leafless shrub. Two guys stood on either side of him, at an awkward angle to the shrub, possibly throwing a ball to each other. They had to throw the ball over the shrub in some weird way.
Dream #3
I floated over a computerized map, possibly of the whole world. The land was in tan. Clouds were in pink. I descended down below the clouds. Below the clouds it was like the clouds were hard, flat panels. The land forms were canyon-like slopes broken up by networks of rivers. The rivers looked real. Everything else looked like computer animation. There was no vegetation. It only seemed like a few hundred feet, at most, between the rivers and the clouds.
I told myself I was in Asia. I was looking for the particular boss of some company. I flew around a building, the only building in this whole landscape, a tall, shimmery building with a parking garage as its base. The garage was just a simple structure of concrete columns, ramps, and platform-levels. The garage was, I could see, only sparsely populated with cars.
On the top level, at the base of the actual structure (as one would think of it) of the building, at least two cars were parked so they were actually propped up, leaning against the building. One of these vehicles was a yellow Hummer.
Dream #1
It was a clear day. I stood atop a hill of piled soil. A female friend was with me. We were talking with a man who may have been a boss of ours. We were in some gold-mining area. We were discussing a weird semantic issue. It made me think I needed to get rid of my idea of obtaining gold from this area.
I walked down the ridge of the hill to a certain height and then jumped the rest of the way (ten feet, I told myself) to the ground.
Dream #2
It was a sunny day. A man stood on a park lawn, possibly looking out on a river. The man may have been standing with other people, talking with them. Behind them was a man who looked like Adam Sandler, except maybe a little skinny. This man was supposed to be me. The man was autistic.
The man said, "Do you remember when you didn't let me watch the show XXXXX?" The man got more upset about it, muttering and muttering.
I saw (as if I stood in front of everybody facing away from the river and toward them) how the "Adam Sandler" man's figure was becoming dimmer and tinted with deep orange. I couldn't figure out what was happening -- if it was something with my vision or something "unreal." But I saw how the man had worked himself into such a panic that he was pulling himself out of the world completely. His figure became like a black hole from a cutout of reality.
Now that black shape pixelated, became vague, made a fluttery, electronic, popping sound, and disappeared. I saw the man standing by himself in a similar lawn. He was in a world by himself. He knew, to some degree, that he had pulled himself out of the world of interaction with others by having gotten so upset. The man spoke, as if speaking to his caretaker, trying to acquiesce in some way regarding the TV show he'd missed, as if speaking to the air in this other world would get the message through.
The man "woke up" and was standing, some time later, in the park again. He was now a skinny, tall, white boy with long, frizzy-curly hair and blue eyes. He stood facing and edging into a leafless shrub. Two guys stood on either side of him, at an awkward angle to the shrub, possibly throwing a ball to each other. They had to throw the ball over the shrub in some weird way.
Dream #3
I floated over a computerized map, possibly of the whole world. The land was in tan. Clouds were in pink. I descended down below the clouds. Below the clouds it was like the clouds were hard, flat panels. The land forms were canyon-like slopes broken up by networks of rivers. The rivers looked real. Everything else looked like computer animation. There was no vegetation. It only seemed like a few hundred feet, at most, between the rivers and the clouds.
I told myself I was in Asia. I was looking for the particular boss of some company. I flew around a building, the only building in this whole landscape, a tall, shimmery building with a parking garage as its base. The garage was just a simple structure of concrete columns, ramps, and platform-levels. The garage was, I could see, only sparsely populated with cars.
On the top level, at the base of the actual structure (as one would think of it) of the building, at least two cars were parked so they were actually propped up, leaning against the building. One of these vehicles was a yellow Hummer.
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