(8/23/05) panty crash

(Entered in paper journal at 6 PM at the Tea Lounge at Union Street and 7th Avenue in Brooklyn.)

Dream 1

It was a young, golden day. I was on a plane that may have been a commercial spaceship. I sat by an Asian woman. The ship was having some trouble getting off the ground. I felt a little bit like there was something wrong with the plane and that we'd have to get off. But I started talking with the Asian woman and felt a lot less nervous.

The plane took off, apparently from LaGuardia Airport. It was like a looked through the pilot's windshield. We sped along a runway between structures like interconnected airport parking lots. We went real fast under one bridge and then lifted off and flew over a bridge.

As we flew over the bridge I told the Asian woman, "Now I remember! This is the bridge my crew chief SM always drives by when the planes fly over really low! I need to see if we can see SM from here!" I looked around frantically but was only getting partial views.

We flew over the top of an enormous, almost leafless birch (?) tree that looked like a cypress.

I said, "I guess we're getting too far up now." (I.e. for me to see SM.)

I could feel the drag of the plane as we ascended, pulling my arms and guts. I was getting excited. But now -- we were already really high -- the planed stopped running. We plummeted immediately.

I only had a couple of seconds, as if my will controlled the plane, to pull the plane back up. But I failed. I knew the plane would crash. But I wasn't afraid. I was frustrated at failing, like I would be frustrated in a lucid dream.

The plane hit the ground nose-first, then bounced,

landing on its back.

It was now like the plane had no nice upholstering or decoration -- it was like a hollowed-out, steel-bodied freight plane with seats and a very low roof, on which I lay, stomach down.

In a very minor, peripheral manner, as if a second part of me in a second, analogous, possibly nonexistent world, were doing it, I was rescuing people who were still in the plane -- people who were knocked out or still seat belted in -- before the plane blew up. I could feel the danger of explosion in the "first world," the "main world" of my perception.

But in the "first world," despite the feeling of danger, I was actually scavenging about in all the seats, which reached all the way down to the roof. Brightly colored panties were all piled up around the seats. I was taking all the panties back to the back (?) of the plane, where there were no seats and the plane seems to have been right side up. I was collecting all the panties because, apparently, they were mine. I didn't want the firemen who would come in and stop the blaze after the plane exploded and caught on fire to see all the panties and laugh at me.

(10/22/06) ruler of the land of chaos; my father's necklace; dimension detectives

(Entered in paper journal at 9:01 AM at Flying Saucer cafe in Brooklyn.)

Dream 1

A scene of insects that were smashed. Smashed, they rolled into balls (three) that emitted some kind of acidic gas into ground or carpet, leaving lumpy mounds.

Soon this view shifted into an abstract landscape like a desert made of abstract cutouts. A narrator said the land had become the land of chaos. The ruler of the land of chaos, a weird being like a cutout version of an Atari character, colored red, walked through the landscape (of blue and purple cutouts?) to a character rising from the mounds made by the insect balls. The two of them shook hands.

For some reason I was disappointed that this was what had come of my clear view of the insects, which themselves had been part of some very meaningful activity. The ruler walked into a drawing room or library -- real, not cutout -- and himself became real. I may have become him. I was happy that I at least saw things as real again. But I was still looking for some conclusion or meaning for the poor insects.

The room was beautiful, of dark and heavy wood, but cluttered full of books. As if trying to calm down my worries, "I"/"The ruler of the land of chaos" ran to each man in the room (maybe three men other than "I"/"him"/"us"). The ruler of the land of chaos would hold up his right hand like a wall and run it at the other man as the man held up the thumb of his right hand. The ruler of the land of chaos would make a plane sound ("buzzz!") and crash the hand -- a wall -- into the thumb (a plane).

This only made me angrier -- not only were we now not talking about the insects, but we were making a wall crash into a plane, which was impossible.

Dream 2

I stood beside my mom and sister in a doorway (like the house I lived in during kindergarten) on a sunny day before my dad and brother. It was my dad's birthday. My brother was proud of the present he had given my dad.

I told my brother hello, but before finishing I was distracted by a beautiful necklace my dad was wearing, and I commented on it, something like, "Did that necklace cost $40 to $50?"

My brother walked past me and into the house, upset. I thought I should go after him, and I would, but first I needed to see my father's beautiful necklace.

My dad unclasped the necklace and spoke about it shyly in an almost feminine way. The necklace had beautiful, yellow beads which shone in the sun. They were thick, almost plasticky, warm, and of many different types of circular or elliptical shapes.

My dad tried sheepishly, femininely, to explain how he had gotten the necklace. To explain, he took a bracelet off his right wrist. It was orange with more teardrop-shaped, thinnish beads.

I thought, almost sickened, This is absurd! I didn't ask to see his bracelet. I asked to see his necklace.

I either went to look for my brother or I could sense him behind me, by a desk. He was crying because I had made him feel bad.

Dream 3

I was in a room (bathroom?) full of TVs. A man in a suit stood with his back to me. I could see a little of his eyes by the reflection of a TV screen that was like a rear-view mirror. The man's eyes had the cold, blue ruthlessness of an executive.

The man directed my attention to one of the TVs. At first the show was hard for me to understand. There were two detectives, men, who were also women, but only when something happened to them. This thing drew magic in from another dimension and put it on them. But then it was more like they were always men but in another realm they were always women. A magic mirror would take them into their female existences by accident.

But then it was more like the male detectives had accidentally discovered this magic mirror and gone inside. The female detectives' world was an anime world. The women's dimension/world was very much like the mechanized world of Caves of Steel by Asimov.

There were two women there who were their counterparts. Each had to help the other's female counterpart and each could not look at his own counterpart, or at least could not let his female counterpart know who he was.

The fates of the female counterparts were somewhat determined by the fates of the detectives. But the female counterparts were in their own danger, which the detectives needed to rescue them from. At the same time, the detectives needed to avoid becoming women, although occasionally they did.

 Now it was like the beginning of the first episode of the series. The two detectives were big, fat men. They stood outside some stucco apartment like in California or Florida. One was dressed up in a pale pink sweater and a hot pink skirt. He wore a blonde wig. He looked like Chris Farley. he was going out on a date with a criminal he was trying to catch, a rat-like Latino man.

The second detective asked, "Does he really like girls that look like you? I mean, would he even sit down with you, let alone stay long enough to get caught? He might even just see that you're a man and a detective and kill you on the spot."

The dressed up detective said something like, "Well, let's go back inside. You can help me look so pretty he'll never know the difference."

I knew that what happened next was that the detective went on his date with the criminal and almost succeeded at catching the criminal. But the criminal escaped and jumped through a bathroom mirror into the other dimension. When the detective jumped after the criminal, he found himself in the body of his female counterpart. Eventually the second detective came after him. I don't think he ended up in his female counterpart's body.

It took a while for the counterparts to sort out what happened, and it eventually happened only with the aid of a half-real/half-cartoon character in a black robe and hood (like Star Wars' Emperor, but with no face, just mist). This character had the ability to give the detectives a little more awareness to see themselves in their female counterparts. But he also had the ability to give the detectives physical substance as cartoon bodies in the cartoon world.

When the second detective came into the cartoon world he was almost a specter. Then he was fuzziness that nobody paid attention to or of whom people were very afraid. He was like walking TV static. Then slowly gaining awareness, he was jumbled and melty, and the cartoon people thought he was deformed. When the magic person found the detectives, the second detective had already managed to become somewhat solid, though still a little ugly, and he had been able to find the first detective in the female counterpart and to figure out a way to make the first detecitve aware of himself.

The magic person may have been the one to extract the first detective from his female counterpart. He gave the detectives their complete solidity and awareness in this world. But then he would also give the detectives missions in this world. Sometimes the missions were good, sometimes not good, sometimes just plain silly. The detectives wouldn't do them.

The magic person would react to this refusal by throwing the men into situations where they would be made to see their female counterparts in such a way that the female counterparts almost  understood who they were. Whenever the magic person would give the detectives the silly or bad-spirited missions or throw them into awkward situations, the detectives would wonder whether the magic person weren't really a bad spirit instead of a helper.

Eventually the women came through the mirror (this was few episodes in). The detectives, who may now have been attractive, young men, now had to teach the women, in the same way the men had to be taught in the other world, to become aware and to have physical substance. This, another "trick" of the magic person, was a humorous complication.

All this time, the detectives were still working or solving their mysteries. The women may have become part of the team. They could all travel back and forth with ease eventually. The mirror which had started as a bathroom mirror in a divey restaurant, became a mirror like a door into a weird cornered foyer into an empty, sunny house.

As cartoons, the women looked like anime versions of Alice in Wonderland, except with hair just above the shoulders and pink dresses with less of an outward bell shape to the skirt. But they were invisible in the real world once they got their full solidity.

This is similar to the detectives. As they gained their full solidity in the cartoon world they stopped being visible. When they were fat in the physical world they were identical. But when they became young and attractive in the real world they stopped being visible. It wasn't like they were all really invisible. I just couldn't see them anymore. And, although I could remember all the episodes up to this point, I couldn't remember any of the episodes after this point.

(7/15/07) gold-mining area; valley of the shadow; the yellow hummer

(Entered in paper journal at 8 AM at Starbucks on Ninth Street and Second Avenue.)

Dream #1

It was a clear day. I stood atop a hill of piled soil. A female friend was with me. We were talking with a man who may have been a boss of ours. We were in some gold-mining area. We were discussing a weird semantic issue. It made me think I needed to get rid of my idea of obtaining gold from this area.

I walked down the ridge of the hill to a certain height and then jumped the rest of the way (ten feet, I told myself) to the ground.

Dream #2

It was a sunny day. A man stood on a park lawn, possibly looking out on a river. The man may have been standing with other people, talking with them. Behind them was a man who looked like Adam Sandler, except maybe a little skinny. This man was supposed to be me. The man was autistic.

The man said, "Do you remember when you didn't let me watch the show XXXXX?" The man got more upset about it, muttering and muttering.

I saw (as if I stood in front of everybody facing away from the river and toward them) how the "Adam Sandler" man's figure was becoming dimmer and tinted with deep orange. I couldn't figure out what was happening -- if it was something with my vision or something "unreal." But I saw how the man had worked himself into such a panic that he was pulling himself out of the world completely. His figure became like a black hole from a cutout of reality.

Now that black shape pixelated, became vague, made a fluttery, electronic, popping sound, and disappeared. I saw the man standing by himself in a similar lawn. He was in a world by himself. He knew, to some degree, that he had pulled himself out of the world of interaction with others by having gotten so upset. The man spoke, as if speaking to his caretaker, trying to acquiesce in some way regarding the TV show he'd missed, as if speaking to the air in this other world would get the message through.

The man "woke up" and was standing, some time later, in the park again. He was now a skinny, tall, white boy with long, frizzy-curly hair and blue eyes. He stood facing and edging into a leafless shrub. Two guys stood on either side of him, at an awkward angle to the shrub, possibly throwing a ball to each other. They had to throw the ball over the shrub in some weird way.

Dream #3

I floated over a computerized map, possibly of the whole world. The land was in tan. Clouds were in pink. I descended down below the clouds. Below the clouds it was like the clouds were hard, flat panels. The land forms were canyon-like slopes broken up by networks of rivers. The rivers looked real. Everything else looked like computer animation. There was no vegetation. It only seemed like a few hundred feet, at most, between the rivers and the clouds.

I told myself I was in Asia. I was looking for the particular boss of some company. I flew around a building, the only building in this whole landscape, a tall, shimmery building with a parking garage as its base. The garage was just a simple structure of concrete columns, ramps, and platform-levels. The garage was, I could see, only sparsely populated with cars.

On the top level, at the base of the actual structure (as one would think of it) of the building, at least two cars were parked so they were actually propped up, leaning against the building. One of these vehicles was a yellow Hummer.

(10/7/09) dimension of the pregnant supermodels

Dream #1

A movie (?) where a man like the psychiatrist in David Cronenberg's The Brood had to head into some place in order to retrieve something important. He rushed forward and suddenly drove through a watery air-substance which was a gate into another dimension, set into a wall in his destination dimension, like a wall mirror, or possibly even the threshold to or from a hallway.

The man's immediate reaction to the dimensional shift he'd just experienced was terror. I only saw a closeup of his face. The closeup was pulling away.

I thought the pull-away would reveal a terrifying scene. But instead, it revealed a long, bright hallway, the walls bright pink, lined with doors, the doors possibly white. It looked like something you'd see in a poppy music video.

Walking to and from the doors along the hallway were the objects of the man's terror. They were women, tall and thin as supermodels, possibly even thinner, but wearing weird costumes. The costumes were cartoon-like in color and adornments. They started ad the shoulders and went down to the crotch, like leotards. But they were bloated and bean-shaped, giving the women the appearance of being flat-chested and extremely pregnant.

The man ran as quickly as he could through the hallway, trying not to be touched by the women. At the end of the hallway, the man may have reached a much darker place, where something to do with injured people or body parts may have been taking place.