(9/9/06) hiding from my family; "i" was "anthony perkins"

(Entered in paper journal at 8:55 AM at Ozzie's coffee shop on 5th Avenue in Brooklyn.)

Dream 1

I was in "my office" -- much wider, shorter, dimmer, yet classier, in a way, than my office in waking life. I was aggravated by my boss and got so mad I began yelling and punching a wall by an elevator. People stopped and stared at me. I knew I was probably in trouble.

I was in an enormous house "in New York." The walls were adobe red and the place was full of beautiful, deserty light. The floors even seemed to be of dirt. My family was also there somehow, though I also was moving in there by myself.

I was up on the second floor, in a big room with a window (and balcony?) overlooking a streetcorner that looked like it was in a small desert city. I spoke on the phone with somebody, probably one of my mom's best friends, TH.

TH wanted to come over. I tried to tell her my location. But I'd forgotten it. I had to go downstairs and find the address. It was 4th Avenue and 3rd Street.

I didn't want to stay downstairs for too long because I didn't want my family to see me and start bothering me -- and I didn't want to say the address too loud because (?!) I didn't want my family to find out where I lived. I went back upstairs.

Dream 2

I was watching a TV show about white people that was made by black people. The character at the moment was an old, fat, well-dressed businessman in an old-style train station. Strong, black people had pushed him to an incredible point of frustration.

The businessman wanted to do something violent. But the view became tunneled and distorted and intense. The man fell to his knees. (I have a feeling this was all "an A Tribe Called Quest video.") The man stumbled through some vague scenes until he ended up climbing onto a hospital bed in a dim hospital room with grey-yellow walls.

The man grabbed onto a man like Anthony Perkins (maybe at first a female nurse, then "Anthony Perkins" as a patient). The man kept calling "Anthony Perkins" Mother and grabbing onto him for dear life.

"Anthony Perkins's" back was torn in places to reveal muscles and ribs like it was dried out and cured. Now "Anthony Perkins" was in his own hospital room, which was bigger and lighter than the previous room. He was talking wwith a female nurse.

"I" was "Anthony Perkins." "I" said something like, "Maybe if he can find something like a mother to hold onto, that will keep him normal on the outside. What do you think? Will he ever be able to get out of here?"

The nurse said, "No."

I looked at the door, slightly understanding why the nurse said no, but still feeling disappointed.

(10/20/07) woman in the treetops; the sick cat cart

(Entered in paper journal at 4:08 PM at Starbucks on Houston Street and Hudson Street in Manhattan.)

Dream #1

I ran through a courtyard like in a stone castle at night. I flew up at some point to move as I needed to go. I flew up into trees. I was amazed that I was flying, but I told myself to remain calm so I would keep flying.

At some point a woman in the treetops reached out at me. I turned as I flew to see who she was. She snuck back into the trees, giggling.

Dream #2

It was daytime. I may have been sitting in a grocery cart. I didn't see too much around me. My mom pushed the cart down a street, possibly down the middle of the street, going down a hill. My mom's best friend T walked beside my mom, possibly to her left.

In the cart with me was a cat. The cat may have lain under a white sheet. My mom and T spoke with each other about the cat, either about how the cat was dead or about how sick it was. I thought, They aren't taking good enough care of it!

I saw the cat. It had orange fur that was pale, as if even the fur were sick. The cat lay as if dead. Then it was standing, walking around limpingly, as if it were very sick. I thought, If my mom and T can get this cat somewhere soon enough, they can save it.

The cat looked at me. It had round eyes that were a milky grey throughout, with no pupils (like cataracts?). The cat then lay again as if dead.

(9/9/08) grandpa's will; the sock-in-pants sketch

(Entered in paper journal on 2-train.)

Dream #1

I was outside a house on a sunny day. I was alone at first, looking into the house through blinded windows. My mom's best friend TM was with me. The house was TM's. I had come here to get something. TM and I were talking friendly.

At some point TM mentioned how she would have to tell my mom we'd spoken. I kind of worried about that, thinking of how I hadn't spoken with my mom for a little while now. I was looking into a big room which may have had a hot tub in it.

Now I sat in the passenger seat of a car with a beautiful woman who was my mom. My mom was telling me how my grandfather had willed me something. But now my mom didn't want to give it to me. She told me something like the only reason I was talking with my mom nowadays was to get this thing from her.

I embraced my mom as if she were my girlfriend. I tried to reassure her that I really loved her. I looked at my  mom's legs. They were covered in white hair that was soft and feathery, like the feathery blossoms of a tamarisk.

Dream #2

A "Saturday Night Live" sketch, where James Belushi, dressed in a baby blue, polyester suit and looking like a news reporter, sand a love song that would conventionally have been sung by a sexy woman. The camera was slightly closed up on Belushi's face.

Now the singer was an in-shape man who kind of had a sleazy look. The man was tan, with "fake blonde-"brown hair and a mustache. The man wore a white tank top and blue jeans. The scene was of the man dancing around in a disco-like setting, with a few men like him dancing around behind him.

The man, still singing the woman-styled sexy love song, pulled off his shirt. He shoved a sock down his pants and pulled his pants down. He was wearing something like pantyhose and panties. The sock stuck out hugely on the man's front, showing between the panties and pantyhose. All the women in the audience cheered as if this were something very sexy.

(5/5/09) the penguin was also trying to do research

(Entered in paper journal at 7:45 AM at Red Horse cafe in Brooklyn.)

Dream #1

I was in a house with my family. I was in a hallway between two or three bedrooms. The bedroom doors were all open, and the bedrooms were harshly lit with white daylight. The bright living room was just down the hall to my right. I was trying to get into a bedroom right in front of me, on the right side of the hall (facing away from the living room). But there were a couple of people in the doorway, including my mom.

I was trying to get into this room to do research on something. There were magazines and a computer with data that I wanted to look at. But my mom (possibly talking with her best friend) stood in the doorway and wouldn't let me in. She said that she was getting ready to have a meeting in here. She acted like I was being really annoying by wanting to be let in. I tried to explain that there were images and data I needed to see in there.

My mom through a computer bag (my computer bag?) out into the hallway. Something like a sketch pad may also have tumbled along with it. The laptop may also have been something like a video game system, probably a Famicom.

My mom said, "There! That has all the data you need in it, doesn't it? And you can take it anywhere, so you don't need to stay here!"

I disagreed. I thought I'd try to explain that I still needed to see all the magazine images. But I figured it was useless to try and argue. I left.

I was on a hilltop in some kind of desert wilderness. It may have been late afternoon. The sky had an orange and purplish, silvery tinge to it. The landscape was like basalt boulders, maybe six feet in width for most of them, piled on each other like outcroppings. The boulders were all fringed with a whitish material like salt.

I was probably in an oldish car which was full of junk (like the car I drove was full of junk when I lived in the southwestern United States and worked for the Park Service in waking life). I was trying to work on my research.

There was a penguin in the backseat. Apparently the penguin was also trying to do research. The penguin looked a little strange. He had a silvery sheen, and he had silvery rings around his eyes and silvery "eyebrows" that were thick, but long and limber, like cat's whiskers.

There was a group of girls on the rocks. They all called to me to let the penguin out of the car. The girls said the penguin would be happier out in nature, and that a lot of female penguins would come to be with him.

I opened the back, passenger side door (not sure how, seeing how I was sitting in the driver's seat) to let the penguin out. The penguin was now a tallish, slightly overweight, grey-haired man (like some version of my aunt M's husband). The man got out of the car and stood in the road.

The car door was now closed. But the man was speaking with me (and I could hear him clearly, just like I'd heard the girls clearly, through my closed door and window). As the man spoke he shrunk and transformed back into a penguin.

I had been looking at the man/penguin through the passenger side window from my vantage point of the driver's seat. The man had now shrunk completely out of my view. I knelt over onto the passenger seat to look out the window for the penguin.

The penguin was clucking and warbling, almost like I would expect a rooster to do, except a little more gently, "lipidly."  I knew that a flock of female penguins would soon gather around him.