(8/25/07) at the air force base

Dream #1

It was daytime. I flew a jet through a flat desert in a clockwise, square route. I flew up from the ground to a large plane. I turned right, descending all that time, to another point. I then turned right again, possibly descending and landing.

I walked into a bedroom like a hotel suite (?). It was a little messy, with clothes slung all over. It was also a little dim.

I could hear, as if in my memory, my (Commanding Officer?) telling me that I had done a good job for my first run. I had flown to XXXXX feet at three hundred miles per hour. I was slightly disappointed that I had done only that small amount, even if it was only my first run.

A woman walked in. She was dressed kind of nice, like a hip girl from a Jean-Luc Godard film. The woman may have been my roommate. The woman said she didn't think she'd be able to make it in to work today. I said I'd call in for her.

I walked into our office, which was right outside my room's door. There were three or four desks. They looked like receptionist's desks. There were tall plants in pots everywhere. The light from the ceiling was a glimmering, watery white. Two girls sat at their desks.

I walked to the back of the office, where it kind of felt like a hair salon, and then back up to the front. I headed back into my room.

The two girls, who may have been Asian, and who were dressed nicely, like the girl who had come into my room, stared at me, or glared at me, as if they were getting ready to expose me for covering up for my roommate.

I stood in a small bathroom. I looked at myself and talked to myself in the mirror. As I did, I saw how I looked more and more like a woman, namely, like my co-worker FA. I wore a white blouse with a slightly frilly collar and short sleeves and a black skirt. I pulled my blouse down to expose my shoulders and chest. I either had no breasts or I couldn't see them.

I sat on a bench built into a wall by a window in my room. I sat there with a man. I was myself again but maybe as a child.

The man and I looked out the window, through the slits in the blinds, to see a man walking across the street. It was a bright, sunny day outside. I knew that this place was the Air Force base.

I wondered how boring and unaccommodating the base would be for people who lived here. But now I saw a shop like a deli or a bodega. It had no front wall, and there seemed to be nothing but candy inside the shop. I thought, You have everything you want!

I looked down and saw on the bench, between me and the man, a clear, plastic container of chocolate chip cookies. The man and I were taking turns eating a cookie. I was making weird noises as I took the cookies and saying silly things like, "One for you, one for me."

I thought, How can I think I"m able to work with the Air Force when I'm doing all this immature stuff?

(10/2/07) ship to the mental institution; tying a knot in the sky

(Entered in paper journal at 8 PM at home in Brooklyn.)

Dream #1

I was in some room like a cabin under a deck in a ship. The cabin had white walls, and it felt like a smallish living room. It was busy and full of people. One person in particular was a tall, white man. Somehow the man lured me to him and poked me with a hypodermic needle. I knew I would pass out or be paralyzed and that the man would take me to a mental institution.

I stood above the deck now, looking down the steps into the room. The deck was flat and white and it felt like it could have been a boardwalk or a stone walk over a body of water as easily as it could have been the deck of a ship. The deck was almost as busy as the cabin had been.

I was afraid the man would come up and pull me down below the deck so he could send me to a mental institution. But I was also afraid that the people on deck with me would push me down the steps, which would be as good as sending me to the mental institution.

I stood on a tree-shaded walkway in a park. I stood before three people: two boys and a girl or two girls and a boy. At least one of the three was Asian. I felt like the three people were crazy.

I was being pulled away from the three people as if by an invisible force. The trees became like a corridor. I was pulled through a chain-link fence corridor, over which the corridor of tree-canopy grew dark green. I was pulled backward. I watched the three people fade from my view.

I lay in my bed. It was dark, but I could see a shapeless, purple entity before me. It was like jets of dye in water. It clung to me and made me feel tired and drained. I fought it, trying to keep awareness of the room. The fight intensified until I managed to make the entity disappear.

Dream #2

I stood with a friend. We watched a jet fly straight up into the blue sky. The jet was now only a speck, with white contrail behind it going almost all the way to the ground. Now the jet dove and made a counter-clockwise loop which must have been enormous -- it created a circle the diameter of which was half the upward path of its contrail.

I spoke to my friend about landing the plane. We were now in the plane. We made the loop. we then headed down to a runway. The runway was rough, like the tarmac had been torn up. I mentioned this calmly to my friend. I said we were prepared for this and we would land alright. We did.

Now we were out of the plane. It was like we had landed under an overpass and by some columns. The plane itself was small. It looked maybe only twenty feet long. It looked like it was made out of weak, light plastic, like it could just be kicked around lightly, like it was just a shell.