(10/16/04) snakes on my ass; too young for a car

(Dreams entered only in daytime paper journal. No time/place info for entry.)

Dream 1

I was flying through the clouds on a relatively blue day. I may actually have also been in an airplane, just a small one. I did, however, see down through the floor of the plane, which I feel was some kind of shiny, red, thin plane more like a spaceship than a normal airplane.

I thought to myself something like, If I do this to her, it isn't that bad. I must be able to free myself from my guilty feelings.

Suddenly I was no longer in the plane but simply flying through the clouds. At some point I was holding tight to a woman. She could also fly. We barreled through the clouds, rolling tightly, possibly to preserve the flying height and speed.

But now we were beginning to descend. We dropped down toward a sea in a wide, gradual arc that became sharper. At some point we split apart and turned ourselves around so we could land in the sea feet first.

I was afraid that when I landed I would be smashed by the force of the water. But it turned out that when I "hit," simultaneously with the woman, I, as she, softly but rapidly cleared the water as if falling in from a drop of only a few feet.

We now surfaced, some distance away from one floating platform, but possibly also just to the left of another one. On the platform in the distance was a serious-looking, older man in some kind of ceremonial robe. There may have been an actual spaceship (saucer) above and behind him. We could see that he was angry at us. We may possibly have floated toward him slowly.

Now we were in a room, possibly in the spaceship, though it seemed more like a living room. I and the woman sat on the floor. The man, now possibly an older, thinner man, sat on a tall chair over us. I was now much less conscious of the woman, although I knew she was there.

I had some small, thinly constructed, plastic objects in front of me. They were about the size of Monopoly game pieces, but they were like blue and pink, thinly wired baskets. There may also have been some purplish spheres of plastic, a dusky, grayish amethyst color.

I vaguely thought about moving these plastic objects and found that they were moving as I had been vaguely thinking. I now practiced willing them a little more to move. I noticed that I wasn't quite as able to move the objects, though they were still moving.

I now "remembered" (?) having been in a swamp full of snakes, many of which were trying to attack me. I thought now in this room that I figured upon reaching the swamp's pale green, mossy shores that I had escaped all the snakes. But I now felt pain all over my ass. Small, black "snakes" about one and a half inches long and maybe an eighth of an inch wide were attached to me and biting me and sucking my blood. I began picking them off my ass. I knew that their attack had hindered me from continuing my studies of telekinesis.

Dream 2

I was on some kind of fence or some thin platform, holding an aluminum pole and working on some tarp material that served as a ceiling. This wasn't in a parking lot, but some kind of asphalt lot or dirt lot in the middle of the wilderness.

A lot had happened before this. But now I was talking to some fat kid with curly blonde hair. I was telling him, as I worked on the ceiling, about a few different models of cars. They weren't quite cars -- I could see them in my head. But they were something new that everybody wanted, in the same way that people want cars.

I spoke chiefly of the prices. I started with a couple really expensive models. Then I spoke of one model that was almost as good as the other models but was only $1,995 (?).

As I said this I was hammering something through the tarp and into one of the ceiling corner poles. The kid had been on a pole beside me. But now he had hurried off and away from the "tent" to go tell his mom about the good price for this "car." He ran off to some building in the distance. It was a short, tight, dusty, brick building.

I went after the kid, who hadn't exactly run into the building. I thought, I have to stop him. He needs to know he isn't old enough to get these kinds of things yet. He can't ask his mom to give it to him.

Instead of heading to the building, though, I headed toward a cheap, white hatchback about fifty feet from the building. The kid sat in the car, at the driver's seat. Another kid sat beside him. They were both looking at magazines.

The kid told me (though a closed window) that he was waiting in the car for his mother. It wasn't necessarily to ask for a "car."

The hatchback the kid now sat in was something like one of these "cars," as if the kid had had one all along. I now, though, felt like it was certain that the kid's mother would be very judgmental toward me. I was ashamed, but I also wanted to hide the shameful thing I had done, whatever it was. I now somewhat "melded" with the kid, taking a backwards-glancing interest in the magazine a kid was holding, as if that would stop the mother from being disgusted with me.

(11/23/04) alien seagull; gangster football lingerie; aliens in chicago or detroit

(NOTE: A lot of my dreams in the earlier notebooks were written immediately as I woke up. Partially because of this, the language in the dreams is sometimes very awkward. In particular, the tenses of my verbs change within the course of my entry. Where clarity is not completely sacrificed, I am going to keep this awkward language.)

(Entered in paper journal at 5 AM, most likely at my friend R's house in Brooklyn.)

Dream 1

Begins like a movie. Girl drives down highway on sunny day in farm-like, hilly country, talks about normal life, how she's an alien.

Then I and some woman are in a strange vehicle in front of a poor-looking house. Daytime. The woman goes up and unlocks the front door even though we're not supposed to.

Something like a seagull with an ostrich head kept poking its head through the tattered door. Now it comes out. The vehicle is like a spaceship. This bird was close to me. It comes up and puts my right arm in its mouth, lifts it up a bit, then walks away, as if to say, Don't move, I'm coming back.

I see in a "spaceship" to my right are two other humanoids. But the way behind me and to my left is a tall, tall spaceship like something eaten out hollow, as if the spaceship had been made of bloody meat.

The seagull walks up a ladder. I feel a sinking in my stomach. I know the gull will find two more dead gulls. She will want to drag them up. I hope the doesn't get diseases.

But when she drags them up they're like stuffed animals. My friend says, "This is all a display for children. It's safe for the gull, too. In fact in the other spaceship," (the one to my right) "all the severed feet and eyeballs are only stuffed."

Now suddenly I was in some huge store, by some crates of powdered cocoa in gold-colored tin, pulling the shrink wrap off it all. Some girl from a group of other folks came up and pulled a few tins up to start stocking shelves to look like she was working.

Dream 2

I went up an escalator to a floor with lingerie and tried to get away from some gangster-like folks so I could try some stuff on. They guys talked about a Broncos or Giants game.

Dream 3

I wanted to wash some dishes for my friends ML and MK, but MK said no, one of the movies is too confusing. He then showed me a cartoon from some video about aliens in which there was a video resembling either Chicago or Detroit.

(1/26/06) chicken-leg wicker spaceships; murr-duhh

(Entered in dream journal at 6:01 PM at Starbucks on 43rd Street and 3rd Avenue in Manhattan.)

Dream 1

I was outside with my family. We all launched off occasionally in spaceships. Something had happened in one of  my launches -- I had been afraid of the speed or height of my trip. I was now afraid to get on the spaceship again. So I let my sister go out on the trip instead of me. But I think I knew that sooner or later I'd have to go out on the trip. I think the accident may have been that my spaceship (or somebody's spaceship) had disintegrated.

There was some kind of different spaceship, though. It looked like a wicker basket. It was like you wrapped your body in yellow/pea-green cloths and got into the wicker basket (which was much smaller than an adult human body) and put a wicker lid on top of the basket. This ship may have been much, much safer. But I was still afraid.

People may, meanwhile, have been taking spaceships nearby (probably the "regular" kind -- which were still like small capsules, except a little bigger and made of "spaceship material"). I'm pretty sure nobody in my family was flying, though.

I "saw" the ship. You had to fly with your legs sticking out through holes in the front of the ship. The legs I saw were "chicken legs." I thought, The legs would get burnt off that way. But then I realized the legs, my legs, were "chicken legs" and could not get burnt off because they were so solid.

Then I saw a skinny, tall, black man in reflective sunglasses that reflected the desert floor and sky. The man grinned gloatingly at me. He had been on a ship and gotten burnt to death, probably. It was like now he wanted other people to die, like he actually tried to make them die. But for some reason I think I knew that because he had died I was safe.

Now I knew I would almost certainly be safe if I rode a spaceship. But I still couldn't move. Worst of all, I'm pretty sure I was still thinking of letting my sister instead of me take what I was still afraid was an unsafe ride.

Dream 2

I was in a big bus like a tour bus for a rock band. I was trying to get some place like a job. A few people were in the bus with me -- possibly my family. I sat at a couch in the back. The windows on the bus were huge and tinted, bluish.

Two black kids, one with a red cap and sunglasses, walked around the back end of the bus somehow.

I hoped they couldn't see me behind the tinted glass of the bus windows. But the kid in the cap and sunglasses saw me. He stopped (on the left side of the bus?) can't be sure), turned slowly, glared in, and said, audibly as if he were right in the bus, "Murr-duhh." He smiled smugly with teeth that may have been capped in gold or silver.

(6/10/06) full of shit; a spaceship; monster in the cuckoo clock; one thing i can't miss

(Entered in paper journal at 9:51 AM at Starbucks on 1st Street and 7th Avenue in Brooklyn.)

Dream 1

I kept on shitting until the toilet bowl was full of a putrid, yellow-tan shit.

Dream 2

A spaceship.

Dream 3

A monster that sprang out of some structure like a cuckoo clock, except huge. It was a wooden, hollow skeleton of a dragon, made of beautiful wood, and with melty, fiery features. I was terrified as it plunged toward me.

Dream 4

It was daytime. I was in a car that was driving in the desert, down a dirt road that was somehow also not like a dirt road. I don't know who drove. I sat in a front seat, so I could look back to see my coworkers BS and ES. We were heading down into a canyon.

BS told me in a rude way that my job was to look for one thing in particular, perhaps a small bird. He said something like, "I don't want to hear how this or that is so amazing. I've already seen it. I already know."

But as we drove into the beautiful, vast canyon, just around a corner, the walls became widely visible. Stuck into the walls were enormous machines that looked like building-sized intercoms or air-conditioners. On the ground before the structures were heaps of rubble and mangled-looking, complex processing-style structures. My breath was taken away.

BS just said, "Electricity." I knew he meant, "I've seen it before. I don't care. It's worthless."

We drove now along some hex-style stone-cobble path in the canyon.

It must have been raining. The path was slick and a little scattered with mud. The sky was grey.

I saw a little bird like a roadrunner.

I wondered if I had missed the big thing BS was looking for and whether I hadn't been stupid to listen to BS about it in the first place.