(10/23/04) panties in my warehouse; the finest stuff on earth

(Entered in paper journal at 5:45 AM at R's house in Brooklyn.)

Dream 1

Family visits my warehouse house, try to get into my dresser drawers.

Dream 2

Friend CV visits Snapple, tries to prove bad chemicals like respiratory XXXXX (can no longer read word) in food, deforming children.

***

(Daytime paper journal entry.)

My brain is barely working. I'm hardly interested in this shit anymore. I have to get the remembered dream down.

Dream 1

My mom, Grandma P, sister, and possibly some of my mom's female friends, all come into my room, which was actually an aisle in a wholesale warehouse like Sam's Club. It wasn't bright. In fact, the light seemed far away or only atmospheric, gentle, but not dim. The place was generally brownish, a coppery brown. I feel like the place wasn't packed with tons of aisles, but was well-spaced, slightly empty-feeling. "My" "aisle" was cluttered with tall and short dressers and other unidentified objects.

At some point my family began opening the dresser drawers. I seemed to have panties in every drawer. As soon as my family would slide open a drawer I would rush up and slide it closed, hoping they hadn't seen the underwear.

I remember one pair was green-yellow and yellow hi-cut briefs, sort of sheer. These somehow, as I closed the drawer, got stretched against something like a bedpost or the corner of the drawer. Another pair was purple, satiny, with a rainbow, elastic waistband.

After I had repeatedly closed the drawers my family tried to open, my grandma Pat got irritated. She said, "Obviously he doesn't want to be around us. That's why he isn't letting us look around his room."

I didn't want them to think I didn't like them. But I also didn't want them to see things -- although I knew they obviously already had seen things. So I followed after them as they walked toward the front of the store to leave.

We passed one side display, rather long, with a huge picture book called, I think, Dune II. The picture on the front was of heavily shadowed Egyptian monuments, like the tall, seated statues in front of the large temple for Ramses II (?).

I still hadn't convinced my family I liked being around them.

(2/10/10) leaving a contrary woman

(Entered in paper journal at 6:15 AM, on B-train into work from Brooklyn.)

Dream #1

I was down in some place like a deep basement. The basement looked like the basement of a house, but I feel like it was taller and wider, and like it had been made for some kind of institution, perhaps a university. I sat on a couch.

A woman sat to my right, against the right arm of the couch. I may actually have been laid out on the couch, leaning my head against the woman's arm or lap. The woman was probably tall, blonde, very beautiful, and mature looking, maybe in her mid-thirties. She may also have been my girlfriend H.

The woman was flipping through a big picture book that was maybe eighteen inches wide and two inches thick. I feel like there may have been other people in the distance, watching us from some dark room, a room with walls painted black, like on a stage.

The woman began complaining about not doing well at some task. I may have tried to tell her she was doing well. But she yelled at me like I was stupid.

I looked up at her book. It was open to a page that looked like an ad (possibly set up to be part of an artist's portfolio in a journal like Artforum.) The left page may mostly have been white. The right page had a silvery wave shape which opened to a silvery rectangle, out of which drove a silvery, somewhat sporty-looking car. Below the car the word "SOLAR" was written in smooth, modern, sporty-looking letters, either blue or silver.

The woman continued yelling insults at me for having tried to make her feel better. Finally I was fed up with it. I yelled sharply at her to stop. She was surprised and silent for a moment. But now she spoke, in a somewhat gentler tone, telling me that she really didn't need to stop, after all, and that she could do whatever she wanted.

We had now stood up. We walked through a small, dark hallway and thn up into a sloped parking lot around a building. It was a sunny day, but we were shaded by trees. The building was white brick (?), maybe three or four stories tall. It seemed like a complex of doctors offices in a suburban neighborhood. It seemed to be at the top of a wooded hill (hence the trees and the rolling, sloping nature of the parking lot).

The woman continued talking about how she could do whatever she wanted and I'd always be there for her. But now she was younger, Asian, with coppery-tan skin and long, pale-coppery-blonde hair. She wore a blue summer dress with thick shoulder straps and white trim. She seemed very youthful and happy.

I was mad about the woman having said such things about me. We were walking (or just near?) a couple of black boys and one or two black women. The black boys were tall, skinny, dark, with closely shaved heads. they wore black t-shirts with prints on them, photos, probably, from a movie like Scarface. The black guys and girls all seemed to crowd around the woman.

We rounded left around a corner of the building, following a ramp- or road-like stretch of asphalt. At the end of the stretch I saw an exit off to my right, which appeared to go to a suburban residential area. I decided to take that exit, leaving the woman to herself. I didn't think she'd notice; she seemed pretty unaware of me already.

I was a little worried about the guys crowding around the woman. I was afraid they didn't have good intentions. But for some reason I decided to let her go anyway.