(6/29/07) cupcake party; old eyes in the new times

(Entered in paper journal at 4 AM at home in Brooklyn.)

Dream #1

I was in a cubicle before an office. I sat like I was in a chair directly before the doorway to the office. A woman was in the office. she was darkly tanned, a little thick-bodied, with long, wavy, soft brown, and dark blonde hair. She wore a sleeveless, black shirt.

The woman told me, "I like you. You're smart and interesting and amazing." She then began singing to the effect of, "But no matter how I try, I just can't get myself to love you. It's no offense to you. I just can't feel anything for you." I thought it was a beautiful and charming song.

As the woman was partly through, a man walked up to us. He may have been my co-worker MW. The woman stopped singing, as if she thought she would get scolded for saying she didn't love me.

We were all heading downstairs for a celebration. I thought the celebration was for me, because I was doing such a great job. We went down a long escalator in a wide room with one or two other escalators in it. I was not interested in going to this thing, but I thinking of nice things to say.

We got down to a basement that looked like a school cafeteria built into a huge basement laundry room. There were only a couple long bench-tables in the whole space.

In now learned that this celebration was all about a group of people who had put together a really interesting project. They sat at a bench-table.

People were passing around cupcakes. They wanted me to have a plate with three large, frosted cupcakes on it all to myself. But I couldn't eat that much. I took one that looked like German chocolate cake. There was another one that was chocolate on chocolate, and another that was chocolate with blue frosting.

I stood up. Another group of people walked in. I gave them the two cupcakes. I told the group I couldn't possibly eat these cupcakes.

Dream #2

I was in a car with a long-haired, pale-skinned, young man. He kept sucking his mouth around and then away from his teeth, like he had a nervous disorder. He was very thin-faced. I saw him as if I were a camera filming him in the driver's seat. But I was myself, somewhere.

We drove through "New York," around "Central Park." The man told me, "People walk down routes they wouldn't have thought of walking down years ago. This city is different. You simply couldn't walk down those routes a few years ago: you'd get killed.

"We found safer routes in those days. The easiest way was by staying close to the libraries." As we passed gates into the park, the man said, ""You definitely didn't go into the park."

We passed a big library on a triangular corner. A lovely couple walked out. The man said, "Those two right there. That's a sign of the times. They would have gotten beaten up for sure. Now they walk around here shopping for groceries."

I stood out on the corner now, on a little plaza area before the library. There were a few Asian guys in suits handing out Christian literature. I was still seeing everything as if I were a movie camera. I thought this was a movie. I wondered how they got everybody to act so natural.

(11/26/07) email in power outage; the laziness of paat

(Entered in paper journal at 5:20 AM on Q-train from Brooklyn to Manhattan.)

Dream #1

Something bad had happened in my office building. All the power had gone out. I couldn't see anything. It was like some portions of the building had been ruined. I could imagine some of my co-workers working under iron beams and among clutter.

I was sending email notices to people. One of the higher-ups in my company emailed me back (though I couldn't see my emails or anybody's responses) that she already knew what I had told her. I emailed somebody else that I should probably stop sending out notices. Another of my co-workers replied, "No. Keep sending them. We appreciate them."

Dream #2

I sat down to watch a movie. I was in a back row. The movie screen was far down, but still clear. The movie had begun. A nice-looking husband and wife sat down to my left, with maybe one seat between us. The woman was directly to my left and her husband to her left.

The woman asked me, "What film is playing?"

I replied "Paat."

She said, "Oh."

The husband got mad and said, "I told you we came at the wrong time. We could have seen The Guru from the Mountains. Now we have to see Piat!"

I felt bad for having wanted to watch Paat.

The movie started. A fattish, balding, bearded man was talking about some of his mystic friends in India. The man was a little intimidated at the prospect of seeing his friends. They had all moved to New York. He hated New York. It was a place that exposed his laziness.