(1/9/06) the ant colony; re-destined; ride to the airport

(Entered in paper journal at 5:52 PM at Flying Saucer Cafe in Brooklyn.)

Dream 1

I was in a park. There were groups of children playing different types of games. One group may have had a kite or kites. Another group may have had a ball that was deflating. I tried to prove myself to each group, running from group to group. At the last group, I (?) managed to get the ball lost. I had to chase after it, still pretending I knew what I was doing. A woman to my right was watching me.

The park lawn gave way to a forest. I "had to" jump over some small depressions. I may have seen a tree fall into one of the depressions. I had to jump over or onto the fallen tree to get across the depression. The tree lay down into the shallow crevice.

I jumped onto the tree, not knowing whether that was a mistake. The bark crumbled completely and ants flushed out everywhere. They all fell to the floor of the depression. I quickly ran to the other side. The ants were after me.

After running some distance I stopped and looked back. I saw my mom's backyard and house. I knew I had made a mistake. I had broken up the ant colonies in her house.

I saw streams of tarantula hawks flying into my mom's house through the roof. I knew the tarantula hawks were going to break down the roof and basement, and that if anybody even moved in the house, the tarantula hawks would attack.

I tried to take back what I had done. I hoped for my family's safety.

Dream 2

My oldest nephew D sat on a car, somewhere near its front. I stood in front of him, telling him why he shouldn't drive the car or ride in the car. The hood to the car may have been open, though I wasn't looking inside but "seeing" the engine with my imagination.

I explained that some connection had been broken. An engine hose was gone between a supply area and a receiving area. The supply area wasn't very affected: it just stopped supplying. But the receiving area, instead of vacuuming in the supply material, was now pulling in air. The air would not only cause a strong reaction with the other chemicals in the engine, but it, being lighter, would be drawn in quickly and flood the engine. Basically, as soon as the car turned on, there would be an explosion.

I could "see" and feel that D was going to start the car and be blown up. I tried to stop him, and he seemed to listen. But it was also like he kept forgetting what I'd told him, or like he was constantly being re-destined to be blown up in the car.

Dream 3

I was in an office or some housing for office people. I had to catch a flight that left at 10 AM. I had been talking about the flight all morning long, but I had never paid attention to the time. It was 7 AM. I needed to get going. I asked a few people if they could give me a ride to the airport. But nobody would, or else they wanted to wait a long time before they would give me a ride.

(1/29/06) drug dealer in flight school; wrong way, brother; ravenous ants; i just wanted him to die; go ahead and kill the guy; seal tank; why the fuck am i here

(Entered in paper journal at 11:24 AM at Starbucks near 77th Street and Lexington Avenue in Manhattan.)

Dream 1

I was in a basement hallway or elevator bank. Maybe a few people were waiting for the elevator, and maybe some got on and let the doors close before the rest of us could get on.

Now it was me and two women. We were talking about how slow the elevator here is, especially when we have to go up fifty floors.

The elevator opened. It was really small. The two women got in first. I stepped in. I felt like it was too small. I was about to get out, but the two women told me to stay inside, that we'd all be fine together.

It was like the elevator went on the outside of the building, in some pipe, and went around all four walls. First we went past the parking lot. We got up to the eleventh floor. There was something like a lawn and buildings "up there." A bunch of kids, maybe college age, were all getting ready for some kind of orientation.

I got off the elevator. One of the women said, "Why don't I pick you up here in my car every day?"

I said, "Oh, no. That's too much trouble."

The other woman was a little annoyed. She said, "She doesn't mean it that way. It's just that she goes this way every day. So why not pick you up along the way?" I agreed.

I went toward people sitting at picnic tables. It was a grey day. I thought, Why did I let them leave me here? This is the eleventh floor, and I'm looking for the fiftieth.

I jumped in the air and flew a little bit. I landed. But I didn't really believe I could fly like that.

I walked toward the college kids. I thought, Oh, I don't want to go through this crap again with mean kids. I'm not a kid anymore! I figured I'd fly out of their field of vision. I did.

A couple guys noticed me. They looked annoyed like they were scheming to pull me down. I wanted to look more normal, but I didn't want to stop flying. I didn't know if I could start again once I'd stopped. So I flew really low, almost so my belly touched the ground.

I flew low behind a guy who was sitting at the picnic tables. The guy was talking on a cell phone. He said, "Yeah. That kid" (he meant me) "is a drug dealer. I'm sure of it. Keep an eye on him."

I got freaked out. I tried to fly upward again, but I was stuck. I lifted only high enough so I could put my feet on the ground. I walked toward a little fountain and lawn area with some marble benches and gates and a marble statue of a man in the center of the fountain.

I was upset that I had been accused of being something I would never be. I thought, Isn't this flight school? How do people like that asshole get in here? And why do people get mad at me for flying?

I wasn't quite to the fountain. I was already feeling really defensive. But then a bunch of white kids sitting by the fountain all turned and glared at me like I was a pussy. So I "showed I could fight." I jumped way high, maybe ten feet in the air, and did back flips with my arms stretched out.

I kept tight while I did them. I wondered why this would show I could fight. I even lost track of the people I was trying to prove myself to. I wondered how long I could keep up these back flips and whether they were going to get me flying again.

I jumped again. This time in the middle of the flip I felt extra energized. I felt like I was being pulled through an electric tunnel. I was still where I was though. I thought, Here comes the fight again. I can feel it. It's the power!

But now I opened my eyes and I was in bed, naked except a pair of panties. I thought, In some way I knew it was all a dream. But now that I have the power from the dream I can bring it here.

It was lightning and thundering outside. My room and my bed were very large. I only had a sheet over my body. I was rolled in a ball on my right side (?).

I closed my eyes and told myself to levitate. I thought, If you can't levitate, at least pull yourself back into a dream where you can levitate. I closed my eyes and concentrated wildly, like I was driven by the lightning. At some point I felt my body levitating, my back and bottom, just like I was rolling forward.

I thought, I must be entering into a dream again. I got too excited. All the closed-eye-focus dropped. My eyes opened. My body dropped to the mattress. I thought, I can't prove my body lifted at all. I may only have been dreaming the whole thing.

I tried to sit up. But I could only get so far. I didn't have a sheeet on me, either: just a long, silver band or string, like a thin chain of a necklace, noded with very occasional, thin, silvery beads and silvery rings, the rings certainly not more than one-eighth of an inch in diameter.

The band went the whole length of my body. In one way it felt good -- sensuous. But in another way it felt like a trap.

Dream 2

It was daytime. I stood outside an American-Victorian-style (?) building at the top of a sort of steep slope of grass (maybe a park lawn) that was littered with yellow leafs. The building was stately, short, with a nice, pale portico, and a body of red brick. This was where I worked.

I had stepped out for lunch. Now, heading back, I got a call from my brother on my cell phone. My brother said, "Why not take a car ride with me? I'll take you back to work."

Now my brother was walking beside me, on my right side. Now we were in my brother's vehicle, an SUV-type vehicle, tan, with a pale cream interior. I'm pretty sure I was on the driver's side. But my brother was driving.

My brother drove us really fast down a suburban road with a median, like Louisiana above Montgomery in Albuquerque, except a lot sunnier and happier. There was something very lovely about it: undertones everywhere of baked orange and tan, like on cliff walls in New Mexico.

As we drove toward a downward slope of road, I told my brother, "What are you doing? This isn't the way to my work! Where are we going?"

My brother said, "Oh, Don't worry. You aren't going back to work today."

I thought, He knew all along he was going to do this to me! Even if I got out of the car right now, I couldn't get to work even close to on time.

My brother said, "We're going somewhere I need to go. Why does it always need to be about work for you?"

I thought, It's not. But right now I've just started with work. I need to make a good impression.

My mom called me. She asked where I was. I said, "I'm with my brother. He picked me up in his car and now he won't take me to work."

My brother had turned the car around and was taking me back to work. I could tell he was both angry. I felt bad. I wanted him to understand, I wasn't doing this because I didn't like him or want him around. But I had to do my work for now.

Dream 3

It was night. I was on a sandy shore. The moon was enormous. The ocean or sea seemed more abundant than usual. I "remembered" I had been here before and seen seals. The "ocean" wouldn't wave: it would swell and sink. The water was a slimy, slightly glowing, dull-fluorescent green, like the brightness on a TV turned down to 1 or 2.

I walked out to something like a handicap ramp with rusty guardrails right at the edge of the water. Now it was like I was at the top of the wall overhanging the water. As the water swelled again I saw three seals' heads skimming above the slimy surface of the water.

I thought, See? You can see them without having to get into the water like you did before.

But the water swelled more. First it just lapped up onto the concrete. Now I was floating in it. The water felt great. It was as viscous as regular water, but a bit warmer.

There were a bunch of seals swimming around me now. "Remembering" again, I thought, As long as they don't get face to face with me I'm fine. I felt a couple of seals swimming up against the soles of my feet. It was so magnificent to be around all this.

But now my "memory" came back. I "remembered what had happened to me. It had driven me completely mad. I knew I had to get out of here before I went mad again.

I swam toward a stone wall, like I was in a canal. I was thrown out onto the beach. Looking out (it was now daylight), I thought the ocean looked like a "bog" (marsh?) at low tide, with muddy pools of water everywhere.

I thought, Something about the water? Was it that I don't have enough power to be in the water yet? I hoped that wasn't it.

Even though it was daylight, it was still night, and some of the things I saw were like I saw them only by the light of a flashlight.

I knelt down. The ocean was "back to normal." The beach was pebbly. I saw a fiddler crab. It climbed up on my knee and pinched me so that I bled. It ran off. A drop of blood dripped onto the sand.

It was daylight again. Ants from a nearby anthill came out, maybe fifty to one hundred of them, and devoured my blood in a fraction of a second, creating in their ravenous frenzy a little, square-like ring around a pile of sand.

I was amazed: the ants had just fizzled over the blood and erased it from existence. I thought, If I bleed more, they'll eat right from my wound. They might even consume me.

I thought of walking away. But I didn't know whether I could get away now.

Dream 4

I sat by a window on a hospital bed. I was a doctor. I was naked except for a pair of panties. I was knelt so I leaned against the window.

I was waiting for a black man my friend R had treated nicely and I had treated mean. I didn't really like the man. But I didn't want to be known for having treated him mean. People could think of me as a racist for having treated a black person mean.

As we waited -- there were a few other people in the "hospital," and this was probably the emergency room, I started quoting out facts about how much things had progressed for black people and how black people were working in good places more than ever now, but how it still wasn't enough. By this I meant that black people were still being treated unfairly and that there was still a lot of inequality.

Now the black man lay on a bed. He was thin and dark. he was unconscious. But he still looked angry and defiant. He had tubes sticking out of his mouth. I was pounding his chest like I was trying to resuscitate him, even though I couldn't care less whether he died.

I called to him, mostly to appease him by flattery if he were even only half-conscious, "Please! Please, get up! Don't give up so soon! We need you here!"

But, really, I just wanted him to die.

Dream 5

A tall, white man who looked like a skinhead had done something bad to me. Now he had come to "my house." He wasn't wearing a shirt. He may actually have been completely naked.

I enticed him into the place. I somehow lured him into the kitchen, which looked like my aunt P's kitchen. I started beating the shit out of him. Eventually I had him so subdued that I hung him back-down, into a garbage can, so from his waste to his head he hung downward into the can. I then began pouring all kinds of liquor onto the man, mostly sweet, reddish stuff like Campari. I also kept throwing liquor bottles at the man. I got angrier and tossed more stuff at the man.

The man was now totally pummeled. I stuffed him into some small space.

Now my friend R came in. we both walked out of the kitchen and into the dumpy but empty living room. I looked at some frail shelves that stood on the floor.

R's girlfriend L came in. R said, "Well, we're heading out for a date."

I, trying to be discreet, said, "Oh, um... Should I, with the guy, I was thinking of finishing up." By this I meant that I was going to dismember and kill the guy.

R said, "No. Just keep him in there a while. And when we get back, you can let him go. I figure that ought to teach him enough of a lesson."

I was disappointed. I figured that as soon as R left I'd just go ahead and kill the guy.

Dream 6

I was walking around in a nice place that reminded me of Denver in "the old days." It was all so nice, and I had never been aware that everything good about Denver had all been so closely located.

I walked up to an exhibit of seals. I wondered why I hadn't realized this was here before. I could see the seals right here!

There were two or three seals. Their pool was upside-down "T" shaped with a small island in the middle and a couple anthill-like "columns" on the sides. The concrete sloped up to brick and then to iron fence.

I was afraid at first as I came to the exhibit fence. I knew there had always been a sign on the fence of a dead seal's stomach that had been cut open to reveal that it was filled with pennies. The sign had always disgusted and saddened me (in waking life) whenever I went to the zoo as a child. It was so sad to think of an innocent seal dying because of the pennies it had naively eaten. But it was also so disgusting and unsettling to see a sliced-open stomach.

But when I got up to the fence, I didn't see the sign. Without having to look at the sign, I simply triumphed in watching the seals play around. They were coppery brown and happy. Again I thought to myself, This place is so close! I never knew!

But now I saw how small the pool was. I thought, These seals can't be happy. They must be miserable. The seals seemed to swim into hiding.I scanned the pool for them. I then noticed how shallow the pool was. And in the corners of the pool was human debris -- things like cigarette butts, etc. The more I looked at this place, the more I realized this was an awful place for seals to live.

I saw one seal dart out from a corner. I looked toward that corner. Under a ledge of sorts were maybe three other seals, maybe more. One adult lay with her back against the wall. Two smaller seals were up by her. There may have been another adult seal.

At first I thought the baby seals were suckling. I did and didn't want to see that. Then I saw they weren't suckling. They were trying to get the seal back to life. The seal's stomach was split wide open. I can't say whether the seal was alive or dead. I was afraid to look.

Dream 7

I stood outside a beautiful building Then I went inside. It was a library/museum. It was so wonderful. The exhibits were busts of famous people. At first I saw a bust of George Bernard Shaw, like the one by Rodin. I was excited to see it. I walked up to it.

In a moment I was somewhere else, like everything had started all over again. I tried to find the bust again. I couldn't find it in this room. So I walked into another room off to the right. I saw a "bust" of Shaw, which actually looked like strips of Shaw's face abstractly, or in an almost skeletal way, brushed together. I was excited, but skeptical. I couldn't believe this was the bust I had seen previously.

I looked back into the first room. There was a "bust" that was made out of some cheap-looking, plastic-like material. But once again I was excited to see it. I walked up to it. It looked like some computer-cartoon version of Shaw. I was a little disgusted, but I tried to act impressed, just to lift my own spirits.

I walked along a strange series of strips that went in a huge oval. They were like shelves with nothing on them but pictures and displays attached to their tangents. Each cluster of displays was devoted to a different celebrity. None of the celebrities was too impressive.

I stopped at the display devoted to some black female model. I wasn't interested. She looked completely average and unprofessional in her photos, which were like photo's of any girl's cheap prom. There was some typewritten stuff about the model's "big day(s)" being a model and how she was afraid it wouldn't work out, but then it did, and "how fun!" and "I always knew it!"

I looked behind the weird race-track-like or Saturn-ring-like shelves, to an oval of desk/counter space. The woman whose display I had just reviewed sat at the desk. She was now kind of overweight and average-looking. Some woman stood by her, talking to her about how "excellent" it was that the woman had been a model.

The ex-model said, "I've gotten so fat! I can't believe it! I need to pay more attention to what I eat."

The ex-model had a bunch of desserts by her. The woman (white, blonde, middle-aged, somewhat in good shape) was fingering one. The ex-model said, "Don't be shy! If you want a dessert, that means your body needs it. That's what I say! Don't be afraid to take it."

I stood there staring at this scene and wondering why the fuck I was here.

(3/2/09) lingerie over my pants

(Entered in paper journal at 8:33 AM at Starbucks on 29th Street and Park Avenue in Manhattan.)

Dream #1

I was in a building that was supposed to be the offices of my old job. I'd been up on a floor, probably with a group of my co-workers. I had gone down to the first floor, possibly having even left the building. I had come back into the building now. The walls were blue marble with white veining. The ceilings were very high. The place felt like a fancy restaurant. The room was long and rectangular.

I was alone in the room. I may have been hovering swiftly, maybe about one foot above the ground. I wore a sweater and jeans (the sweater maybe horizontal stripes of various colors). Over the jeans I wore a woman's half-slip.

I turned left into another room, which was like this room. At a nearby set of tables to my left were executives from my job, including the CEO K. They all looked over at me. I could tell they thought I was weird because I was wearing a half-slip.

I turned right and went up a thinnish, curving staircase. I thought, But can't the executives see I'm not just wearing this half-slip? I'm wearing jeans underneath. And besides, even if I look weird, aren't the executives impressed that I'm flying instead of walking up the stairs?

I was on an upper floor which was a cavern of walls of green marble with white veining. I couldn't remember what floor I was actually supposed to go to.

I was back at the first floor again. I may have stood in front of some computer kiosk, which was just a keyboard and a screen on a thin pole. I had to enter my name or user ID and password to get past this point in the building. But the computer would tell me what floor I was supposed to go to. But I was drawing a complete blank. I couldn't remember my password at all.

(3/4/09) the crumbling edifice; uncle steals my phone; where we really wanted to go

(Entered in paper journal at 8:42 AM at Starbucks on 43rd Street and Third Avenue in Manhattan.)

Dream #1

It was night. I was with a group of people from "my job" (i.e. the job I'd just gotten laid off from). The group of people may have been my boss BS, my teammate DE, and someone else.

We had just gotten out of a meeting, and we were probably going to go to another one in just a little while. Both of the meetings were possibly with the same person: a tall, pretty, blonde woman. The woman may have suggested that there was a place in the building where we could get some good coffee. But for some reason BS wanted to go outside the building.

The building faced something like a vacant lot, as if the building were somewhere in a desert or an undeveloped business complex. The sky was black and flashing as if with lightning. But we could see everything around us, as if it were lit for a movie. It may have started raining a little. The building was as big as a New York skyscraper.

We got to a corner (we had turned right going out of the building) and turned right. We now walked up a slight slope. We were under a structure like the walkway overhang seen on some shopping plaza buildings (and on some skyscrapers). The columns were square and may have been made of a conglomerate material, like concrete full of round pebbles. The ceiling was concrete.

We had gone a long way, just to find some coffee, and now our meeting would start in just a short while. BS now said we should go back to the place the woman had suggested to get some coffee. But I knew that by the time we got back there, it would almost be time for the meeting to start. We wouldn't have time to get the coffee. We were about to emerge from the overhang. We'd have to run through the rain to get to the next overhang.

But now the ceiling of the overhang cracked. I heard it and looked up. The ceiling was divided into large squares. The square directly over us had a crack through the center. The square in front of us, the last square of the overhang, now cracked very loudly. A few cracks in it caused that section of the ceiling to sag downward. It looked like there was earth above the concrete. I don't now how thick the concrete was. Possibly not very thick at all. I called to everybody to get away from the building altogether because the whole thing was going to go down.

I ran up the slope and across the street or into the street. I looked down to the overhang. There were a lot of people there, all people I knew from work. In particular I saw my senior co-worker, mentor, and friend ES, who may have been wearing a vivid, darkish blue, v-neck sweater with a white undershirt. I yelled to ES in particular to get away from the building. But everybody, including ES, was standing still under the overhang, as if they were waiting for the rain to stop.

At some point the building may have collapsed. Everybody was huddling over by the (other?) building, sitting, maybe, under blankets. It may not have been raining, or else the rain may not have mattered.

ES sat somewhere to my left -- or I simply may have heard/felt her in my head. ES said something like, "Even when you were gone, we all knew, It'll be like this with Preemie: buy side, buy side, bam, Preemie right here on the sell side." As ES said this I saw glowing rectangle outlines (like gun-sights in a video game). As ES spoke, it was like she was referring to rectangles farther and farther to the left.

Dream #2

It was night. I was in a house with my family. It was more than just my immediate family. There were members from my dad's side of the family as well.

The house was dark. There may have been some light somewhere, but not much, and I couldn't make out the source (possibly outdoor streetlamp light coming in through curtained windows). It was like this place was on a floor in an apartment building. The apartment may have been very large.

The main room, the living room, was very large, maybe thirty feet by thirty feet. There were occasional chairs and other pieces of furniture. But most or all of the space was taken up by people, my family members, sleeping under sleeping bags and blankets on the floor. It seemed like most everybody was asleep.

I was walking through the room, as if I had just gotten into it, as if I had just come to whatever this gathering was. There were a few people awake, some in the center of the room, kind of arranged as campers might be around a fire (except with just empty floor between them, and not fire) and some people standing at the other end of the room, as if in the doorway for a kitchen.

As I walked through the center of the room, a man, my uncle R, called to me. He asked me what my phone was. I told him it was a BlackBerry. He asked me if he could see it. I handed it to him.

Someone from the doorway to the kitchen was also talking, either to me and my uncle or just to my uncle. The people around my uncle all lay around talking about things, possibly technology. There may have been small lights before them, like the lights from small electronic devices.

I now stood in the room in the daylight. There were still blankets and sleeping bags throughout the room, where everyone had slept. But now there was nobody around.

I walked to the circle of blankets where my uncle R had been, so I could grab my BlackBerry. I knelt down and picked the BlackBerry out of a messy pile of electronic devices. I now saw that my BlackBerry was missing its back, and that the battery was also gone.

I was panicked. I had trusted my uncle and let him look at my phone, and now he'd taken stuff out of it. I tried to see if the SiM card was still in it, but I didn't have enough composure. I sifted though all the other stuff on the ground, but I couldn't find either the back or the battery.

I now got pissed off. I turned around and yelled toward the kitchen, to someone, to my mom or anyone, "Somebody took the battery out of my BlackBerry! If anybody sees my battery and back lying around, let me know!"

On the wall to my left was the front door of the apartment. (Just to the left of that door?) was a small hallway to a couple of bedrooms. My uncle now ran out of that hallway. He had the battery, which was hooked directly to a thick, coiled cord, as if the battery were being charged directly instead of through the device.

The charger wasn't mine, but my uncle hurriedly handed me both the battery and the charger. He had obviously stolen my battery. Now he wanted to get rid of it as soon as possibly, even if that meant losing the charger as well.

My uncle looked worn out, dried out. He may have had purple sacks or even pale bruises under his eyes. He was trying to explain something to me, either how he'd made a mistake in taking the battery, or how he had taken the battery to charge it for me as a favor. I could tell just by the way he was acting (and by the condition in which he'd handed me my battery) that he was lying. I was't even trying to listen to what he said.

Dream #3

I had driven to some place with my mother and brother. It was dark outside, but we could see everything fine, as if it were lit for a cartoon or a movie. We were in some place like an asphalt lot with a cinder block wall, which was directly before us, and a chain-link fence, with barbed wire on top, which was to our right. We stood outside the car, which may have been something like an old Ford Gran Torino, maybe goldish colored.

We spoke about directions to where we really wanted to go. I may have "seen" something in the wall, like a display rack of red clothing, up about ten feet on the wall. We knew we had to turn around.

(3/23/09) friends among zombies; basement of the lazy

(Entered in paper journal at 7:50 AM at home.)

Dream #1

I was at a checkout stand in a large supermarket. The store was dark, with just a couple of bands of fluorescent ceiling lights turned on. Outside it was pitch black. Some other people, maybe black people, stood by the checkout stands, as if we were all waiting to pay for our items. But there were no workers.

I looked at a tabloid rack to my left. The papers all spoke about something having happened to the President. There was no specific idea of people who may have been involved in any of the related events.  But there was an implication that, because of these events, a war would be started. It seemed like all this news was of a trivial, gossipy nature, fit only for the tabloids.

I stood outside with my dad. It was still pitch black night. We stood out on a wide, concrete lot. Somewhere to my left there may have been a tall, wide, stable, stone building, like for a university. There were a few white streetlamps lighting the lot.

Something dangerous was happening. Zombies may have been attacking the area. My dad was sending me out on a small, ATV-like vehicle to retrieve something. I was afraid to go, even though I knew I had to. The zombies (?) had stopped attacking, but nobody knew where they were. I thought that, riding on such an unprotected vehicle, if I accidentally met a group of zombies, I could easily be "gotten" -- attacked by them.

I started off, possibly driving through a fog. I rode through a few places, like back roads, suburban residential neighborhoods, places that looked like secret bases (with chain link fences and barbed wire), something like university campuses, and a shopping mall's parking lot.

At some point I met up with a group of people. We were all riding in a van now. We were riding down a long, straight, slightly graded slope. We were all talking somewhat cheerfully about where we were going next. We were apparently going back to my dad. But I was worried that we really weren't headed that way. It didn't look like we were headed in the right direction at all.

Dream #2

I may have been laying with a large group of people, all of us laying close together, as if we were in a gigantic basement in a gigantic suburban house.

A woman knelt down and tapped me to get my attention. The woman looked like a gardener CA, who worked at a park at which I'd led volunteer groups through New York Cares -- she was shortish and had tan skin, blue eyes, and shortish, squarish, silver and grey hair. The woman said, "I'm not sure, with you young people, what time I should be getting you up."

I felt bad, thinking I should have been up a while ago, and that I was getting lazy.

(4/26/09) tangled forest and street; flying over the park

(Entered in paper journal at 8:10 AM at Connecticut Muffin in Windsor Terrace, Brooklyn.)

Dream #1

It was night. I was in some building like a house. I ran out of the building and into a corridor of thick trees. There were small slivers of light, possibly like moonlight, shining through the trees. But the light got darker and darker, and the trees bordering the corridor got thicker and thicker. Even the ground became harder to run on, and it took on a gross feeling.

I knew I was reaching something like a wall of tangled, gnarled branches, and that I would have to reach my hand into the wall. But I got to a point where I couldn't see anything anymore. I thought that if I went all the way to the end of this corridor, I'd have to come all the way back without any light, and with the environment around me becoming filthier all the time.

I stopped running and was pulled backward. I was pulled all the way out of the corridor. I was now possibly on a city street. I was moving forward again, but I knew that since I hadn't gone all the way through the corridor I'd not be able to achieve what I'd needed to achieve on this street.

Dream #2

I was running through a valley of low, rolling hills between two forests of trees with orange, red, and yellow leafs. It was just before sunrise. The sky was pale, tannish, purple-blue. The air was crisp. As I continued to run along, the valley curved around and then opened up quite widely. I was in a large city park. This enormous valley was near the entrance to the park.

Along one of the slopes to my right was a naked woman with short, blonde hair doing "yoga." She was pulling herself up from a splits position. Her clothes lay before her and beside her. I smiled at her, but then I realized that since she was naked, she would probably think that I was a peeping tom for looking at her.

I looked away quickly. The woman may have started putting on her clothes: maybe a sleeveless, grey shirt and a pair of dark grey jeans. I thought that when the woman had her clothes back on I'd come back to let her know that I hadn't smiled at her for any bad reason, but only because I'd wanted to be her friend.

I now began flying. I flew very high in the air, so that I could see whole tracts of wooded areas in the park. I thought of telling the woman about this, about how easy it actually was to fly.

Some wooded areas were colored yellow, red, and orange, and their topography rolled along, showing hills. But other areas were whitish, as if covered by snow. The whitish color soon became slate grey, or milky-colored and then slate grey. The milky color may have seemed reasonable to me because sunrise light and shadow coloring the snow might make a similar color. But the color of the snow soon looked to me more like mold. It disgusted me.