(3/29/06) death videos back from the dead; the third rail

(NOTE FOR DREAM 1 -- For a while I had the practice of sketching out my dreams as I woke up from them. The sketched out dreams would then be expanded into the fully written dreams later in the day. I eventually stopped this practice. I felt like it was better just to carry my dreams with me and write them down in a brief form later on in the day. However, in this entry, it looks like I reverted to sketching out my dream -- though I don't see the fully-written dream in this notebook. So Dream 1 is in a very sketchy form.)

(Entered in paper journal at 1:50 AM at home in Brooklyn.)


Dream 1

Night -- death videos with friends -- shoot man in head silver gun -- videos finish -- "go to bed" -- "better to be made fun of" -- man call for woman "babysitter" come back -- i'm floating off -- parking lot, mall -- hear sister talk "death videos" "seal eats child, forty miles per hour" -- in mall, woman can't get inside, finds door -- in restaurant, breakfast spot, chinese people -- seals by windows "really children juggling?" no -- everybody smoking -- i order -- order comes -- credit card, lady goes -- i leave tip -- man pushes me -- takes tip -- i tell him be polite, tell him about my job, can't remember, try to talk about Americorps -- now girls all around -- try to tell them move -- have to go -- in camera store -- aquariums, sunlight, fish, blue rocks, want camera -- stroking beard, ask man, beard chokes me, go away, beard fine -- ask man about film camera -- says not worth it, but -- i'll put on hold -- $20? -- makes receipt out of blue gym mats -- ... -- in race with friends after "pit of doom" -- they beat me -- back in pit of doom -- died -- back from dead -- running back into crowd -- see friends, not as cool as i thought -- run with huge crowd down rocky, beautiful slope grass slope to "park gates" -- also symbolize death? -- already see friends down there, out of shape, i'm surprised -- everybody wearing grey t-shirt dark grey shorts or sweat pants

Dream 2

(Entered in paper journal at 5:21 PM on Q-train from 57th Street and 7th Avenue in Manhattan toward Brooklyn.)

I was in a car with "my family." It was day. We were possibly driving to someone's house. But now some of us were in the car and already at or near the house.

My mom and my oldest nephew D were by some train tracks and behind me, possibly by another car. I was walking ahead of them, leaving them behind to get to the place. But I looked back because I felt bad leaving my mom and D. I saw D was about to touch the "third rail" on the train tracks.

-----?----- I yelled, "Don't you dare let him touch that rail!" My mom stopped D. I decided that we should all ride together.

We were traveling along a hilly suburban road, like in a developing mountain town. Now we were at the house, which was plain and solidly purplish-blue, like a painted plywood board.

My friend CV stepped out and shook my hand, talking about how long he had waited -- how much everybody had hoped -- for me to get here. I thought his manner of speech was somewhat weird, like a sweet old lady speaking. And I'm pretty sure I didn't think I was supposed to go into the house. At least, I couldn't stand everybody being focused on me.

(3/28/09) movies you don't ever want to see

(Entered in paper journal at 10:15 AM at home.)

Dream #1

I was in a video store. The place was well lit, but the walls and ceiling were dark. The shelves were metal frame style shelves, mostly about shoulder-height. The place was large, and there were a few other people around.

I found a shelf of lesbian movies -- really, lesbian erotica. The cases of the movies were all dark. They were either, or both, VCR cassette cases and DVD cases. There were little cover pictures and blurbs on each case. Most of the blurbs were written like copy for a porn magazine. I was intrigued by it, but I also felt ashamed for looking at such obviously pornographic material.

There was a wide "doorway" into another section or room of the store. I walked toward it. At some point before I got into the room I saw a shelf full of pornographic films with the title PIG or P.I.G. I didn't even want to look at these cases: I knew those films were really twisted.

In the other room there was another shelf full of lesbian movies. A sign above the shelf said something like, "Due to popular demand, we have brought in more of these enticing movies." The sign may also have said something about enjoying the movies in the summer heat.

Whereas the movies I had previously been looking at were lesbian movies that seemed to have a lesbian erotica edge, these movies were really just flat-out lesbian porn. I walked way from the shelf, not really interested.

There was a tall, wall-sized shelf before me. All the movies on this file were from the PIG series. I only saw the sides of the boxes. Each box-side had a picture. I had the feeling that these films were like porn, but that they also had something like real torture or death scenes in them. I turned away and walked off to the right.

A wall-height shelf to the right had a sign over it saying, "MOVIES YOU DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE." This shelf of movies had the faces of the boxes all showing. I could tell these were movies with real death scenes in them.

I tried not to look at any of the boxes, but I saw a photo (as big as on a poster) of a heavy, dark-skinned, Hispanic (?) man with long, straight, black hair. The man wore a red t-shirt and had his hands folded as if in prayer. Between the man's hands was the end of the man's hair, or else something like hair, which was coated in or transforming into a mass of congealed blood.

I saw another photo, this one only the size of a video cassette case's front, of a young, white man with short, red hair. The young man wore a black t-shirt. Out of the left side of the man's head grew another head, which was like the man's first head, except grey and distorted.